Sundaze

Does not feel like Sunday. I kept thinking yesterday was Sunday, although it was Saturday. Waking up at 4:30 am yesterday really messed me up! Oh, it was awful. I even put my v-neck t-shirt that I wear under my bulletproof vest on backwards, that's how screwed up I was. I didn't even notice until I got home and got undressed. Poor S also woke up with me at 4:30; his insomnia is bad and he could not go back to sleep. It does not help either that I've had a pounding headache since Friday night that no analgesic could touch. I was pretty worried about it as I went on patrol, as I like and need to be 100% on my game out there on the streets. And I knew the Sgt. was already going to be on my ass about some things. But fortunately, the morning was kind of calm and we had an arrest that took up the rest of the time until I had to leave at noon. Some of that time was also taken up by eating (free) at Fuddruckers--yum!

The arrest was one that pissed me off for 2 reasons. What happened was there was a lady fighting with her husband in their front yard and the neighbors called it in. We showed up and the lady had put their 2-year old son in the back of the pickup truck that the husband was trying to leave in to go to work. 2 more deputies joined us on the call. We always have to ID and run everyone, so the lady said her ID was in the house. Sgt. followed her inside and told me to come, too. The lady was carrying the 2-yr old cutiepie and she tried to sit him down on the messy dining room table, but before she was able to sit him right on top of a baggie full of weed, the Sgt. spotted it. Nice try, dumbass! So the Sgt. told me to go outside and tell the other deputies the husband needed to be put into custody until we figured out whose weed it was. I ran outside and told the deputy with the husband, sotto voce, that the guy needed to be put in custody. The deputy said ok, and moved aside so I could do it. I thought he was gonna do it! But no matter, I turned the husband around, pulled my cuffs, held the guy's thumbs together, and proceeded to do the absolute worst job of handcuffing in my entire career. So that pissed me off and embarrassed me no end. It was horrible. This is what happens when you don't practice, which me and M. keep promising to do but never do. Oh lord, I can't imagine what those other deputies were thinking. Actually, yes I can.

The Sgt. called me back inside the house to watch the lady, who was now cuffed and sitting on the couch. She was crying and saying the pot was hers, and please don't take her baby to a foster home, and wah wah wah! I gave her a little lecture about doing drugs in front of kids, and how this little boy seemed to be very bright and that if she kept it up, he was likely to do drugs someday too. (Reason #2 I was pissed!) She agreed, but kept blubbering, and wanted some water, so I played nice cop and got her a drink of water and had to hold it to her mouth since she was cuffed. The little boy really was adorable, and he just played on the floor and did not seem scared of us at all. The Sgt. came back in and told her she was under arrest since the pot apparently turned out to be hers. She begged me to find her bra, so I went through the small cluttered house and finally found it after awhile. (I also had to get a tampon for her, ugh.)

Back at the station, the other deputies there started making fun of the baggie of pot, asking the lady how much she'd (over)paid for it and saying it was full of seeds and not even clean! She stopped crying long enough to say that it was good shit, that we should all roll one up and try it. I had to take her in the back so I could search her, and also had to watch while she went to the bathroom. [Why do they always ask if I have to watch??? Like I enjoy doing it, or something? As if I have a fucking choice? Here's a tip: if you don't want people to watch you on the toilet, don't get arrested, Numbskull.] Later she started complaining about the cuffs being too tight, which they weren't b/c I could stick my finger inside, and how terrible this whole experience was. I said, "Yeah, being arrested really sucks, doesn't it? Maybe you'll use this as a learning experience and think about this the next time you do something that'll get you arrested." Then she was all like, "Having pot is not nearly as bad as having crack!" My response, "Oh, people get killed over pot, too! People will kill each other over $5!!!" Then she claimed she was going to throw up, so they dragged the trash can over to her but told her if she did, then the D.A. was going to add another charge. They were really messing with her, which was pretty funny!

BTW, the Sgt. promised me he would call CPS on her. Trying to hide weed with your precious 2-year old's little behind? My vote is that you don't get to keep your kid anymore, you piece of shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So after all that drama, I took off to the next comic-drama of the day: my annual homeowner's association meeting. Here was the approximate basic breakdown of the other concerned homeowners like myself that were there: 45% older white women, 45% older gay white men, and the remaining 10% were me, a gay black man, a gay Hispanic man, a young single white woman, and 2 black couples. We had no quorum, and were only at about 33%, so we could not vote on a new board or any other changes. The gay men were vicious! They were absolute bitches! One of them actually asked the little old lady who was the board president why she hadn't resigned yet! Others sneered, how come this hasn't been done, and how come that hasn't been done? I mean, it was a real brou-ha-ha. I was actually uncomfortable, and I was still in uniform! I thought I might have to cuff someone before the meeting was over (that would've been good practice, actually). But all in all, I got some good info., such as the budget, and some of the plans for this year that they will be doing to the property. We did take a vote to adjorn the meeting until next month, so that we can all attempt to get a quorum of homeowners there so we can vote on some changes. After the meeting I met lots of my neighbors, which was nice since I feel like we never see anybody, being on the end and on the corner and all. The presiding officer said they might need to hire me for all future meetings so I can keep the peace.

By the time I got home, I was beat and my headache still hadn't gone away. I just lounged around the house, and finally finished my book! I watched a documentary on the real Blackhawk Down, which is also an incredible page-turner of a book. When S got home from work I was watching one of my fave shows, Flip This House! Speaking of which, I heard several of my fellow homeowners talk about their remodeling projects, which made me feel good b/c I have been having some ideas about home improvements (someday when we have the $), but wasn't sure it would be a good investment if our property values don't go up. But apparently, others are confident they will! So I talked to S about some of my ideas last night. I'd definitely like to re-do the upstairs bathroom and take out the upstairs carpet. Someday, someday...

Lord, today I still woke up with a pounding headache. I was supposed to be at work at 1, which is where I am now, but didn't make it until 1:30. I just could not peel myself off the couch and the light was actually making it worse. Maybe it was a mild migraine? Fortunately, the Advil finally did kick in and I was able to drag myself in. When I get home I have got to tidy up a little since the county lady will be out tomorrow to inspect our house and interrogate us on why we are better parents for the baby. Fortunately, there's not much to do, just dust and sweep so we can pass the white-glove test if necessary. I also need to put away the laundry. Our lawyer should be back in the office full-time starting tomorrow, which is great so we can get this case moving along again! S had the sweet idea to get her a get-well card, and I also got her a bag of Valentine's peanut M&M's, which we'll mail tomorrow.

Mardi Gras note: We lost 1 more member of the Krewe. I was on the verge of calling off the party, but don't want to do so b/c I already booked the room and don't want John at Bibas to be mad at me (he can be a little scary!). Instead, we will scale back yet again. Get yer togas ready.