Armed and Malaised

That's me right now! Ha ha! I'm feeling so lazy tonight on this last night that I will be working until 7pm. The laziness started at around 3, which sucked since I knew I'd have to be here late. I wanted to sleeeeeeeep...

Besides pulling all evening hours beginning next week, they're also going to de-staff the reference desk. This means that all questions are going to go to the low-paid clerks at the circ desk. I have to train them tomorrow on searching the library catalog. Meanwhile, all librarians will be in our offices all day, "on-call" in case our assistance is needed, which it will be. Then when the circ folk can't handle the question being asked of them, they will call us and we will run out and save the day! This should be a definite improvement in our lives, although the circ staff are a little miffed and intimidated at the change from what I hear. Ah, they'll be all right. 90% of the questions asked are just if we own a particular journal or minor directional ones anyway. No use paying a librarian upwards of $20/hour to sit out here for that.

The following is funny, and mostly true for me:

You May be a Cop if.....

you have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience.

you believe that 50% of people are a waste of good air.

your idea of a good time is a gun run or a car chase.

you conduct a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly towards you.

you believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills.

you disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see.

you have your weekends off planned for a year.

you believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

you refer to your favorite restaurant by the intersection at which it's located.

you've ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: "Suicide, getting it right the first time."

you've ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin laughing uncontrollably.

you think caffeine should be available in IV form.

you believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers", is going to blow more than a .15

you find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around.

anyone has ever said to you, "There are people killing other people out there and you are here messing with me.

people flag you down on the street and ask you directions to strange places and you know where they're located.

you can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body.

you are the only person introduced at a social gathering by profession.

you walk into places and people think it's high comedy to seize their buddy and shout, "They've come to get you Bill.

you do not see daylight from November till May.

people shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room and they think they'r e being hugely funny and original.

a week's worth of laundry consists of 5 T shirts, 5 pairs of socks and 5 pair of underwear.

you've ever referred to Tuesday as "my weekend" or "this is my Friday".

you've written off guns and ammunition as a business expense.

you believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is quiet tonight."

discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal to you.

you find humor in other people's stupidity.

you have left more meals on the restaurant table than you've eaten.

you feel good when you hear, "these handcuffs are too tight."