Worthless!

Yep, I'm pretty much almost worthless these days at work. People that I need to get answers from on some projects are out of the office themselves for the holidays, so what's the point? Oh well, I'm technically here and not touching my vacation hours although it sure feels like vacation regardless. I can't relate to the holiday-celebrators, though. It just feels like everything is in limbo. When Mudflap and I were out in my district on Xmas Eve we heard that there were only going to be 2 units out on Xmas Day!!! What, there are no Jew cops or Muslim cops anywhere?!?

I was on the radio last week and won some tickets to the science museum, yay! Them shits are expensive too, yo. I think S and I will take the baby on Sunday to check out the Butterfly Center and the Imax. But I doubt they'll be interested in this exhibit. Anyone else want to see it? Let me know, the exhibit's here until April!

I had a really fun time visiting with my long-lost friend G. who was in town last Saturday. He bought me too many beers though and on Sunday, I believe I had some kind of attack or allergic reaction. I had only drunk 3 1/2 beers but I don't drink beer, or much else, anymore. S and I went running and after I ran/walked 5 laps I started itching and felt like my hives were coming back, but instead I just itched and got real weak and dizzy and nauseated and had to be carried to the car! Weird!!! Lesson learned: don't drink over 2 Shiner Bocks anymore. I'm too out of (drinking) shape.

Anyway, G. is the same as ever although the "Outlaw" tattoo he got on his wrist the same night I got my badge tattooed on my arm is starting to bleed colors a little bit. I was mad b/c I paid for that tattoo! My friend Frank always jokes that G. needs to get tattooed on the other wrist "Inlaw." Speaking of Frank, I ran into him as well on Saturday night. And a bunch of other long-lost gentlemen friends of mine, too! It was like some kind of reunion. G. was being a little maudlin though, reminiscing about our old, drunken, carefree days. I must say though, I miss those days too. Over the years we shared several ridiculously fun Guadalupe River trips and Austin City Limits Music Fest trips. There was even one river trip that consisted of only me, G., and a 14-yr old boy. I ended up having to drive G.'s truck all the way back to Houston b/c they were both so drunk. But damn, was it a blast!

TGIF, though. S took the day off from work to watch the baby and run errands and I'm here at Job #1 being almost worthless. We've got a long family weekend ahead of us, which'll be great. I have advised S to go ahead and put in his notice at his work and probably next Wednesday will be his last day. I want him to concentrate on the police academy! I have to admit I can't wait to help him study. I saved all my notes from my academy, flash cards, cheat sheets, etc. And it'll be a great refresher for me as well. There's a lot of damn laws to know!

Is Anybody Out There?

Blogging is lonely business these days. Of my blog buddies, only Tito J. is posting. The holidays bore me, in the sense that people think it's some kind of special time or something when it really just feels like any other day to me. The other good thing about the holidays, besides me having some time to loaf around and do what I want, is that traffic is pretty light.

Went out on patrol on Sunday and Monday, both days with Deputy Mudflap. But I've just about had it with him, which is good b/c I won't be able to patrol again until the 2nd week of January. He keeps making fun of my deliberate, careful driving and I keep getting po'd at him b/c he drives so freakin' fast we pass our locations about 90% of the time and have to double back! Anyway, once again I prove to be about the best crime-repellant that no money can buy. We left the Mexican Flea Market area on Sunday at around 9pm. At 10:15pm a fatal shooting occured right where we always patrol. If we had left at 10pm the shooting would've occured at 11pm; if we'd left at 11pm it would've happened at midnight, and so on and so on. I am true crime repellant.

Picked up the baby today with the assistance of L., who accompanied me along with her little baby. The whore was all by herself at dropoff, ha ha. Then we went to lunch and made plans for Saturday as well. After dropping off L. the baby and I spent some time playing at McDonald's, then she came to work with me. S picked her up and now they are at the movies while I am at Job #2. Tonight she can open her presents. Unfortunately, we didn't have her last weekend like I thought we were supposed to b/c Christmas has different visitation rules. But now we have her until Jan. 2 and tomorrow she will come to work with me all day, including here to Job #2! She likes to do the online coloring pages so I can sit her down on one my 32 computers here and she can go to town while I sit here, like the Queen of England, and be their professional librarian since they still have not provided me with the necessary tools I need to order and catalog the books yet. Hey, they need a professional librarian and I need $$$. A win-win situation if I ever saw one!

The Best Thing About The Holidays

...is really only that I have some time off to do what I want to do, such as sleeping in a little bit! And eating, although that needs to stop NOW. I've put on 5 lbs. (ok, maybe 7) in the past few weeks and can no longer squeeze into my size 2 jeans. I had to break down and buy some size 6's the other day! S says he likes the new junk in the trunk but he wants me to start running with him so we can lift it and tone it. Last weekend I did, in fact, go running with him and Mano, but I prefer to walk a lap, run a lap, walk a lap, run. And bounce my tennis ball while walking. I'm into bouncy balls these days. Anyone who needs any present ideas for me, there it is! Bouncy balls, of all sizes! I'm working on my eye-hand coordination.

So as far as all the other stuff goes, I don't buy into the propaganda. I avoid shopping, stores, malls, as much as is humanly possible during the holidays. I refuse to rush around like everyone else is doing. Having a child, we do put up a little tree and a few lights here and there but that's it as far as decorations go. I'll be going on patrol with Mudflap on X-mas Eve, and I'm deliriously happy b/c the Sgt. says we can use one of the extra cars at the substation. This is as opposed to going to pick up our own Reserve vehicle, which is stored so fucking far away that by the time I reach it I'm always so over it I'd almost just rather go home at that point! So that's what the holidays mean to me: having some time to do what I want to do, when I want to do it.

We go pick up the baby in a little while, and unfortunately S has to work tomorrow to finish up the holiday rush, but we need the $ since he only has a couple more weeks of full-time employment so although he bitches I am grateful. The baby is just going to come along with me tomorrow to run errands. We may take her to look at X-mas lights in the tony neighborhoods in the evening. Tomorrow night my dear old pal G. will be in town (he sez) and so I will meet him at our old stompin' grounds to catch up and drink a beer together or two! Damn, how I miss him. He is one of the best friends anyone could ever ask for and he's the kind of friend that is always there for you, no questions asked. Now he lives in the Hill Country and I just miss him like hell. One of these days I'll post some of my favorite stories involving our experiences together.

Lazy days at work here, that's for sure. I took an extra long lunch and even got to have it with S since he was working nearby! Next week we will have the baby from Dec. 26-Jan. 2 so she'll be here at work with me for at least one of the days, which'll be fun.

Sold! American!

"Damn!", is all I gotta say. I was procrastinating on sending out our Xmas cards b/c I've just got too much other stuff on my mind. I had a pic of me, DH, and the baby that I wanted to use but it was on digital. I figured I'd have to schlep myself down to Walgreens or CVS and plug into that machine they have there and size it and print it, blah blah blah! And who has time for that?!? Anyway, I was looking at Walgreens.com for coupons, as I do, and it said you can upload your digital pics on the website and pick up the prints later at the store!!! Holy balls! I did exactly that and I am not kidding, within the HOUR I had an email from Walgreens saying the pics were ALREADY ready for pickup at the store by our house. At .19 freakin' cents a print. What a country!!!!!!!! I coulda done this days and days ago!

It's feeling a little lonely out here in blog-land. Some of my favorite bloggers have the nerve to have taken off for the holidays. Bums. Meanwhile, some of us are stuck here and don't get to go anywhere! And I'm PO'd at the state again. I was going to use this slow holiday time to knock out another class online for my Intermediate Peace Officer certificate and the website has been down since November 27. What a crock! 2 classes down, 7 to go. This is going to take me at least another year.

So I spent some more time thinking about my career options. I even called my li'l bro to ask him if I could practice dragging him 35 feet since he's the closest person I know to weighing $1.50. I called some of the federal law enforcement agencies' recruiting offices. But honestly, I don't think it's mean to be for right now. I don't hate Job #1. It's rewarding in its own way. I got 2 free meals yesterday. I can blog on company time. And I don't want to have to go work a 2p-10p shift, where I will never see DH and the baby. Additionally, when I was taking that class at the academy last week, it really struck me as to how ignorant a lot of street cops are. I mean, the majority of them simply don't read at all, ever. Even the instructor, as much respect as I have for him and he actually does read books, I had to gently correct him when he got homicidal mothers Susan Smith and Darlie Router mixed up. Also I gently corrected him when he called the book A Child Called It incorrectly as A Boy Called It. Lord knows I've seen that book enough in the public library, plus I've read it! He also advised us to read the book on JonBenet Ramsey, Perfect Murder, Perfect Town. Uh, I read that book years ago. Anyway, see what I mean? I genuinely don't want to be thrust into an anti-intellectual environment which, unfortunately, it seems that most street cops inhabit.

So, for right now, I'll continue being a librarian/cop instead of a cop/librarian. And have too much fun doing so, on my own schedule on my own terms.

Supercop on Santa's Lap

So no, we didn't get our visitation with the baby this past weekend. The whore is being the asshole evil whore that she is. Like I stated previously, more ammunition for our court case--like we need any more. Just when we think this is a slam-dunk in our favor, the retard whore screws herself even more. It's all over in February for her.

Since I had the whole weekend free, I went on patrol on Saturday with my old pal, the hilariously fun deputy that calls me "Coffy Brown." He says he can retire in 4 months if he wants to, but he's having too much fun. Can you imagine a job where you have "too much fun"? Jeez. I am always a little scandalized when I ride with him, but it's always in good fun! We spent a lot of time goofing off, including an hour at Hooters. Also we went to this really huge, really cool store called "Outdoor World" where I took a picture sitting on Santa's lap. Hey, he patted his knee so I sat down on it! Then he gave me a candy cane.

Later we put this dumbass punk kid in jail for POM (Poss. of Marijuana). It was hilarious how we caught him. I don't even want to say in print in the blog. If you're dying of curiosity, you will have to ask me about it in person or send me an email. But it was fun tearing his apartment apart and looking high and low for the stash! Turd.

While at Hooters the other deputies gave me an idea. They said that with my credentials and education I should consider getting a Law Enforcement job with the feds. They say it's great benefits, but at my age if I'm going to do it I need to do it now. So today I spent some time researching the idea--FBI, DEA, ATF, ICE, Marshals, Border Patrol. I have to admit, I'm a little reluctant due to 2 factors: leaving Texas, which I most assuredly will have to do for awhile for training and/or a job, and passing the PT test. I CANNOT climb fences and I CANNOT run 2 miles. Period. I am too old for this shit. I admit it, I don't want it bad enough. I'm not starving in the streets, I'm not enduring intolerable conditions at Job #1, I'm just a little pissed off on some days.

Still, I am considering some other things. I had to go in to Job #1 this a.m. and had to deal with more bullshit. It sure would be nice to have a job that is actually "too much fun."

Back...and Bigger Than Ever

Yikes. The slacks are starting to feel too tight again! Anyone else having this problem? Raise your hand! For starters I was at the sheriff's academy Monday-Wednesday and there is nothing to eat around there but fast food or Mexican Taquerias. Now, we did have an hour+ for lunch but I spent Tuesday and Wednesday lunchtime at the nearby public library, checking my email and stuff. Also researching some of the material I learned about at the class, "Investigating Child Abuse." I am just too curious! Was Lewis Carroll really a pedophile? And I must find this book, Zero at the Bone, about this nut! Also some freaky movies we talked about. A lot of this shit is hard to find, and I'm a librarian with access to WorldCat and everything. We also looked at some child pornography magazines and I certainly don't need to do that ever again, thank you very much. But it was a highly interesting, intensely disturbing class and now I'm a certified Child Abuse Investigator. Or something like that.

As usual, I got the scenarios right. You get called to a house with a single mom and 4 kids, all under the age of 6. The little 4-yr old girl has a burned, blistered hand. The mom claims the little girl burned it in the bathtub. You run the hot water for awhile and test it with your thermometer (because all cops carry thermometers, right?!?) and the water only goes up to 138 degrees. Can you arrest mom? HELL YES, I said! Mom lied to me! That injury happening that way is not possible! And some of my classmates argued with me, saying they couldn't prove Mom did it. I said she had to do it, b/c no one else in the house could've done it and no kid is going to keep their hand under hot water that long enough for it to be blistered. I said I'm taking in Mom for Injury To A Child, which in Texas even if it's an accident it's still a crime, and I'm calling CPS to come take the other kids before Mom hurts them too. And I was right.

So besides all the academy fun, I was busy with a couple of holiday parties this week. Tuesday night Auntie R. came and partied with me. Last night was Job #1's holiday party. The snacks and treats and delicious party food just keep on comin'. I ate a shitload of boiled shrimp and even partook in the rum punch last night! Then I took home 4 humongous petit fors for S.

The bummers of the week are that we did not have visitation with the baby last weekend after all b/c the whore "forgot" it was our weekend. And we are still waiting today to hear from our atty. if we get this weekend as a makeup. The whore is not returning my text messages to tell us if we do or not. So--more ammunition for our court case. A lot of pain now for a lot of relief later, after we win.

Also, now my car, Blue Lou, is in the shop as of yesterday. So there's even more grief and loss of $ to deal with. I am having to bum rides from S and my coworker who lives nearby. I keep waking up in the morning with more and more gray hairs, which no, I don't appreciate! And I knew I'd be returning to a FUBAR mess at Job #1 yesterday as well, but I didn't imagine the extent to which it's ascended. And it's not over yet. I was planning on taking an entire day off on Monday to go make some $ at Job #2 but now it appears I might have to make an appearance here instead. Bullshit!!!

Here's the promised pic's from 2 weekends ago. Better late than never.

Me and baby petting sharks and stingrays. Ok, only I petted them. Baby couldn't reach and kept chickening out when I tried to help her. Baby wearing wings and tiara supplied by Ma!

There's a tiny crawlspace underneath the stingray/shark tank for chirrens. Naturally, I had to check it out. The entrance is like only 2 feet high but I couldn't resist! Later I petted that shark at top left.

The baby and me. She is pissed b/c I thought of making that cool tiger pose before she could think of it. After this she kicked me out of the picture so she could do it by herself!

Baby on the ferris wheel.
She forced me to go on this stomach-churning falling ride with her like 6 or 7 times. She said it made her tummy feel "good." I'm a big, bad, tough cop and I could barely handle it. But she's too little to ride it by herself, so that's what moms are for!

Adela Has Left the Building

Whoo, what a week! I have been scheduled to within an inch of my life. And next week is more of the same. Monday-Wednesday from the unGodly hour of 8am-5pm I'll be at the sheriff's Academy in Humble TX, attending a 3-day class on Investigating Child Abuse. Monday night I have a X-mas party/shopping event to attend. Tuesday night I have the High-spanic Health Coalition's party. Wednesday night I'll attempt to make some $ at Job #2. Then I'll be back to Job #1 on Thursday to deal with lots of general fallout and cleaning up of some bullshit messes that I know for a fact will happen while I'm gone.

The reason I'm actually able to blog a post right now is b/c S was sent to work in north Houston today, so he and Mano are going to pick up the baby. Praise the Lawd! It's absolutely heavenly not to have to rush to meet him and then rush up there to pick her up. All I have to do now is go home and clean the house and make dinner. Tonight S is going to see Dane Cook in concert, and I am glad he is getting a chance to do something fun for himself. (My nice thing that I get to do for myself is the Academy class next week. To each their own.)

Tomorrow bright and early a representative from the life insurance folks are coming to the house to take S's blood and health history b/c I am finally getting a policy on him, just as I took one out on myself last year for him. I wonder if he'll be able to successfully fast all night tonight? Then we are most likely going to see "The Nutcracker" at the theater company located across the parking lot from the back of our house, comp. tix courtesy of M.'s friend, a very nice guy I met at one of my gigs with Jimmy! To end our Saturday, we've got a very nice party to go to at J. Fi's ultra-wealthy friends' home, and that will be endless good eatin' and drinkin'!

S and I need some bright spots these days. We are both getting into the shit at work lately and are having to deal with totally unreasonable, delusional assholes. You know, the kind of jerkoffs that demand that you sweep and mop the floor but refuse to give you the broom and bucket. He even got into trouble at work today due to my showing up last night to help him assemble some bicycles. That's unfortunate, b/c I don't mind helping him out; we get to spend time together and I kind of enjoy the mindless tasks S has assigned me of taking the bikes out of the boxes and cutting the zip ties off and removing the protective cardboard and filling the tires with air.

And me, well I made some kind of un-politically correct faux pas at work via email by making a comment about Mexicans and their, shall we say, inability to be panicked by deadlines. (My exact quote was they are "not big on urgency.") So I ran this past S and 2 close friends who all agreed the folks I offended were indeed being overly sensitive! So fuck 'em.

Ok, this non-urgent Mexican-American is outta here!

Stevie Wonder!

Stevie, Stevie, Stevie. What can I say? I don't even know! Here's a decent writeup. Basically: it was beautiful, Stevie Wonder has the exact same incredible voice he had 30 years ago, he played for almost 3 hours straight, he looked like he was having the time of his life, it was great, it was cool, it was magic. Of course, he didn't do "Tuesday Heartbreak" but that's ok, it really is. You shoulda been there!

Then I had a really great dream last night. I'm not ever one for discussing my dreams b/c I did all that dream interpretation stuff when I was a teenager and I'm completely over it now. But it's all S's fault for making me watch all this wrestling b/c I am totally in love with 2 wrestlers these days: Randy Orton and Chris Jericho. I am not even kidding, it's even starting to bother S a little, heh heh. (That's what he gets, I have had to put up with his lusting after the wrestling divas and his having the occasional Playboy lying around the house! [Ok, I read it too!])

Should I be bothered by a little scar tissue? I gave blood today at Job #2 and they said the vein I always use has a little scar tissue. I'm a little grossed out now. Then how the hell are we supposed to donate once a quarter like they want us to?!?

I am lousy with Christmas invitations and parties coming up. One this Saturday at J.Fi's rich friends' house. Then parties next Monday night, Tuesday night (actually I have 2 parties that night but can only go to one!), and Thursday night. Then a dinner party next Friday night that is being thrown by my father, of all people. So many social engagements, so little time!

"The Suspense Is Killing Me...

...I hope it'll last!" That's probably my favorite line from the old Willie Wonka movie, the one with Gene Wilder. Anyway, tonight is Stevie Wonder!!! Man, oh man. I can't contain myself. If he does the incredibly emotional funky amazing song "Tuesday Heartbreak"--which he won't--I can die and go to heaven. He better not waste our time with "I Just Called To Say I Love You." I always like the lesser-known songs of the chart-toppers and the hit-makers, so I always seem to luck out at concerts. Still! It will be worth it just to be there. When he was on American Idol I wanted to cry I was so jealous of those damn kids!!! (Ok, maybe I did cry a little bit.) Concert review tomorrow!

Meanwhile, for the Weekend in Review, it was busy and jam-packed with activity, but what else is new? The big highlight for me was petting a very tame stingray in the water at the Aquarium. I never touched one before and it was incredibly soft and felt very velvety! I had to pet it over and over again. Later I came face to face with a humongous white tiger. Pic's to follow soon, I promise!