50 Bucks Richer But Still Burned Out

I had a decent gig last night although it was really hard to hear much based on the way we were situated. I might just have to get used to it, and that's ok b/c I'm a professional. Jimmy recruited that bad drummer we had first rehearsed with to tickle the ivories with us, so we played as a 3-piece and Jimmy handled guitar, harmonica and kick drum. We played from about 10:45-12:15 so I didn't get home until 1 am and now I'm at Job #2, probably about to be hit with extreme exhaustion right after lunch. But Jimmy paid me $50, true to his word, and I really appreciate the $. He gave me the money from the tip jar, consisting of 1 $10, 2 $5's, and the rest in a big comical stack of $1's. I felt like a stripper and hoped S would really believe I was out playing music! My wallet is amusingly fat today, and I even left S and the baby 10 $1's so they could go see Ratatouille on me today.

I think I had an epiphany yesterday. I realized that for about the past year or so, I have had the attitude at Job #1, and lately even Job #2, of just wanting to show up, do the absolute minimum, get my paycheck and go home. [So maybe psycho library director bitch is right.] And while I don't necessarily have that attitude with my other paying jobs, such as teaching skin care classes and now gigging with Jimmy, at times I do feel like I'm just "phoning it in." (God forbid I ever feel this way with the Sheriff's Dept.; if I ever do I'm going to just have to quit b/c attitudes like this can get you and other people killed.) I know my work is good but there's something wrong going on in terms of me not having much enthusiasm anymore, and I'm trying to figure it out. I think I'm just becoming burned out on work and all these jobs and not having enough fun. I definitely believe a vacation would do me some good, or even a leave of absence from Job #1, especially. B/c while sending off my resume to another librarian job opening this week, I was a little dismayed to realize I felt no excitement, no enthusiasm at the possibility of making a big change, learning a new job, etc., when in the past I've always been excited by big changes.

However, the possibility of my taking a vacation anytime soon is nil to none, due to finances and my storing my vacation time for teaching skin care classes and court. Plus, I really wouldn't want to go anywhere without S and what with his starting his new job this week that ain't happening anytime soon either. I know for a fact I'm just TIRED. I'm tired of working all these jobs (although I like the $) and I'm tired of all these constant pressures being forced upon me by everyone in my life. Even the Sheriff's Dept., which is generally a fun release for me, is frustrating me b/c I hear comments all the time like "When are you going to go for first man/one man/Sgt.?" People, please, I can barely make my minimum required hours per month, and didn't even do it in June!!!

And while I truly appreciated S's ability, now with his new job, to be able to meet me yesterday afternoon so we could go pick up the baby together and take the HOV lane and avoid paying $2.50 on toll fees, we finally had a chance to talk and I had to hear him say how this new job is really tough on him and his body. He also found out yesterday that they decided not to pay him hourly while he's in training--like they promised!!!--and instead are going to pay him and everyone else by piece which is totally unfair when you're in training and still learning how to assemble pieces!!! But I am also tired of trying to help him figure out what he's going to do for a real career. I told him he just needs to figure it out and I'll do all I can to support him. He did promise to consider signing up for a local Police Academy though, in the same town where I work at Job #2. The money would be sooooo good, so much so that I might actually be able to quit some of my jobs! [Discussion for another blog post on another time: although someday I might be able to quit some of my jobs, would I really want to, based on all the extra $ I make? Have I reached the point where all this working is a way of life I've become accustomed to, and can't imagine my life any other way?]

Take Job #2, for example. On Thursday night, I simply did not feel like driving down here and working. I wanted to go home. But S told me, "Just play on the Internet, you'll be all right." And it's true, I get paid well to sit here, surf the Internet, read my email, post in my blog, and occasionally answer questions. It's not a bad gig, as far as gigs go! But I think the term is synergy, where the sum of all the little parts add up to create something overwhelmingly more. And that's how I feel these days: overwhelmed. Burned-out. And something's gotta give here soon, somehow.

At least S gets to take care of the baby today, which is a wonderful thing for all of us. I made him take her to storytime this a.m. We went to eat at Black Eyed Pea last night and none of us finished our meals. S and I are still not recovered completely from that stomach ailment, but I'm actually seeing the positives involved, such as not being able to eat as much which is a good thing! Getting 2 meals out of 1 will definitely help us financially and in terms of waist-size! And next Sat. we will have her again and it will be the 1st weekend in over a year that the 3 of us will spend an entire weekend together as a family.

I Feel like Jones

Jones, that is, a character in one of my all-time favorite books, Confederacy of Dunces. Jones is a black, vagrant kind of guy who is very strongly urged to obtain gainful employment by the local police. But it seems that the only job he can get is as a sweeper/porter at a sleazy French Quarter nightclub run by a mean, nasty bitch named Lana. Lana knows that Jones needs a job or the cops are going to continue to run him in, and therefore she takes delight in verbally abusing him and underpaying him. Jones, in retaliation, begins a massive yet subversive sabatoge campaign against Lana and the bar. In the end, Jones wins out and Lana and her secret, illegal activities get her arrested and thrown into jail and the cops give Jones a public citation and he gets a new, better job, etc. etc. But throughout the book it's a constant battle between Jones and Lana, Jones constantly threatening to quit and Lana constantly threatening to fire Jones and report him to the police. It really is funny how it all plays out, though and the banter and insults between them really are hilarious.

So I feel like Jones b/c once again I am so pissed off at Job #1 I'm ready to quit. I even had to call DH yesterday crying, saying I was going to quit. This is the 3rd time I've felt this way in the past 9 months. DH convinced me to calm down and gave me some counsel. The big thing from him though, is that he does not want me to be a full-time cop. So that's out. He also says I can't quit until I line up another librarian job. Fortunately, I had a break yesterday during which I took a few hours off to go teach a skin care class and make some $. When I got back to work I began looking for other librarian jobs, and to be honest, at this point I don't even care about trying to find one that pays as well as this one! As long as I can find gainful employment at a library and can bring home a paycheck, that's all I care about. So I quickly updated my resume and got a cover letter out to one opening I saw. But other than that, it really is slim pickings these days, as far as jobs that will work for my schedule and that I am qualified for.

I did make an effort this a.m. though and met with our Human Resources person to see if we can fix the problems that I've got going on here. She is going to let me know if/when we can meet with the appropriate people about this. I just need to know if it's going to be possible for me to have a future here or not; if not, then they just need to tell me so that I can move on. B/c the latest problem I have is yet again with the Library Director, who allegedly told that asshole Deb. H that I have an "attitude problem" and so she allegedly asked Deb. H to meet with me and my coworker to discuss it. Well, I refused to meet b/c if the library director has a problem with me, then I think she and I need to discuss it, and that's why I got H.R. involved. And both my coworker and I disagree with the library director that I said anything at all at a meeting on Tuesday that should lead her to believe I have this alleged attitude problem! We were all in that meeting, so I have witnesses who are just as perplexed as I am. Of course, you can't believe anything that comes out of Deb. H's lying mouth anyway, which is the other reason I had to get H.R. involved. Because frankly, there are just too many assholes trying to run the show here and I need to get to the bottom of what is really going on.

In other news, I rehearsed last night with L. and Jimmy. L. very much frustrated me and Jimmy. Although she assured me many times over the past week that she could do the gig and play drums, it wasn't until we got to rehearsal last night that she asked us what a "train beat" was. I was pissed that she had told me over and over that she could do it, and then when I bring her to Jimmy's she pretty much crashed and burned. She wasn't as bad as the last guy we rehearsed with, but it's not going to work out, I don't think. And I was pissed that she had given me all this reassurance and Jimmy had believed me--well, I believed her! This is what happens when you listen to alcoholics. I should've known better.

The good news is that DH definitely now has his $ for the Sony PSP that he wants since we sold those Astros tickets I won at the Sheriff's meeting the other night. They were 4 tix worth $200 and we sold them for $120. Hell of a deal. I do think poor DH deserves a little treat. His new job is kicking his ass and he is so tired--not that I've even seen him much this week with all my night-time shit going on. And tonight I have to work at Job #2.

Sad news--RIP Chris Benoit

Unbelievable news. One of my and S's favorite wrestlers, Chris Benoit, is dead. Poor S is really bummed out and I am shocked. We spend a lot of hours watching wrestling, as you know. I was at the Sheriff's mtg. last night when S texted me the news, and I had to text it to Mudflap who was across the room. S said they didn't know how he died, but that he, his wife, and child were all dead. After the meeting I called S and he said it wasn't a car accident but that's all he knew. I said then it either had to be something like carbon monoxide poisoning in their house--although carbon monoxide poisoning in the summer in Atlanta seemed unlikely--or it was a murder-suicide. There's only 4 ways to die and natural causes wouldn't have taken all 3 of them. When I told Mudflap my theories he asked why would Benoit kill his wife and kid and I asked why is he assuming it was Benoit? If there's one thing I've learned lately it's that women are evil too and look at Phil Hartman, whose wife took him out!

After Mudflap, D., and Sgt. and I went to eat I gave Mudflap the assignment of doing some research on the Internet. Mudflap then called me and S and told me I was right: murder-suicide. But it does appear to be Benoit that did it. Sad, sad, sad. Although the next thing I said was then why is WWE doing a whole tribute to a murderer?!?

So now I've got my detective hat on, although I guess I've always got it on. Some people think he snapped due to steroid use, but I don't know about that. It seems he had plenty of time alone to deal with what he did before he killed himself. You don't take 2-3 days to "snap."

How to Lose 5 lbs. in 3 Days; RIP Richard Bell

So at around 2pm on Friday afternoon I began to get chills and fever at work. I knew I had come down with S's stomach malady! I went home and spent all night feverish, chilled, and with stomach pains, among other lovely symptoms. My gig was supposed to happen on Friday night too, but in the traditional vein of drummers and, well, other kinds of musicians, the drummer that Jimmy had supposedly found never even showed up for rehearsal on Thursday night. So the gig was going to be a trial-run of sorts anyway, and I didn't feel bad at all for having to miss it.

Saturday a.m. I felt a tiny bit better but could still not stomach the thought of food. S ended up not going to work b/c when he called in, the phone conversation between him and his manager was not at all pleasant. He did not bother to share the details with me. So I spent the day lying on the couch and since S was finally feeling better himself, he was in and out of the house all day long. Later, Mano came over and brought me some cake by request; it was the only thing I could think of to stomach! And I digested it just fine!

Sunday a.m. I felt even better and even went to La Mad. with S, but only nibbled on some bread with jam, a few bites of potato, and lots of water. Then I heard the voicemail from L., telling me that our precious, beloved Richard Bell had recently died. I remembered all the wonderful memories I'd had of spending just a little time on and off with Richard, all the way from Houston to New York to Austin. He was the one that dragged me backstage at the Austin Music Hall during SXSW so that he could proudly show off my hip tattoo to Los Lobos. Cesar Rosas and David Hidalgo squinted at it, and then Cesar said, "Whoa!!! Hey, we want to be on the other hip!"

Long day today. Tonight is my monthly Sheriff's Dept. meeting. Then I owe Mudflap a meal as thanks for coming to court last week. I'm sure he and I will go to Hard Rock w/D. like we always do. I just hope I'm in the mood for eating b/c their potato skins sure would hit the spot. Too greasy, though?

Lots to Report

I don't even know where to start! But in the words of Mel Brooks in History of the World, Part 1, "You gotta start sometime!!!"

• I sold Woodrow yesterday. I decided that if I was vague enough in my craigslist posting then maybe noone at craigslist, or a civilian gun control freak, would get wise and flag and pull the ad. All I put was "Kimber Pro CDP II-$800. 3 years old, great condition, email me for pictures" and figured anyone in the know, would know what it was. Well, I got an email within 30 min. from a guy wanting pic's and info! He asked was I firm on price. I said I was, but that I also wanted to move the merchandise. I said if he would meet me tomorrow, then I'd let it go for $750, which S also agreed to. So we met out in the parking lot of M.'s library, where I was teaching a MK skin care class, and M. observed the deal. (I wasn't too, too nervous, seeing as how most gun nuts tend to be decent, law-abiding citizens like me; on the other hand, I'd never done a craigslist deal like that involving so much cash money!) And it was fine. He looked Woodrow over, asked me some educated questions, and handed over the money. I said, "You better get out of here before I change my mind!" And actually today he emailed me with some more good questions. I feel like I've given a child up for adoption or something! S is happy b/c I had made the silly deal with him (I didn't think it would happen anytime soon) that when I sold Woodrow, he could buy that ridiculous Sony PSP. Although I'm sad that the beautiful Woodrow is gone, I'm glad he went to a good home and I'm glad to have the $. I still want to trick out my other gun Esteban with some groovy night sights. Either that or a laser! That red dot on the stomachs of turds makes them start behaving damn fast!
  
• Poor S. He is SO SICK. He's got a stomach bug, and all that that entails. I had to go buy the necessary supplies for him yesterday, i.e., Sprite, Gatorade, crackers, Immodium, Pepto, etc. I feel so bad for him; he lay on the couch all day long. We have no idea what he ate, but I'm unafflicted so I doubt it was anything in the house.
  
• I've got a new music gig, it seems. On Sunday night I rehearsed w/Jimmy, whom I have played with several times over the years. In fact, it was he who named our one-time country/folk band "PoonTwang" to my utter humiliation and chagrin (ok, secretly I think it's hilarious). Except for that one time we played at Mardi Gras, and they got our name wrong in the print ad and called us "Poon Trang", making us the Vietnamese country band, I suppose. But I digress. Anyway, Jimmy says we have been offered a weekly gig at a fun local bar on Saturday nights from 10-midnight and he will pay me $50 each time. So I said hell yeah! We will have our first gig as soon as we've got a decent drummer lined up, easier said than done.
  

OK, I saved what I hope is the best for last. We had Court, Part 2 of 3, it is turning out to be now. Unfortunately, we are going to still have to have a Part 3, which should definitely be the final chapter. This a.m. I testified first, and I did pretty well although I didn't get to say a lot of the things I had hoped to say. That's b/c you can only answer the questions the lawyers ask you, but oh well. I got to say a lot of important stuff regardless and show the court what a wonderful, loving (step)mother I am. The crazy thing is that the whore showed up now with 4 fucking witnesses: the lying old bag, dickhead, her sister, and a man who we believe is their neighbor/dickhead's friend. It was almost laughable. She's just going to keep bringing all kinds of people so they can lie for her! Hey man, if they want to have to take off from work and come all the way down to Houston from the Woodlands in order to lie for a whore, and we never get to them, well that's their karma.

After I testified, then we got Mudflap up on the stand and he did great. Then we got the whore up there and she was a total disaster, which I knew she would be! She kept being nonresponsive and our atty. kept objecting and the judge kept sustaining and ordering the whore to just answer the question. The whore's atty., the doddering old fool, even shook his head and dickhead had 2 vocal outbursts from his seat, a big no-no! That turd, with his criminal record he should know how to conduct himself in a courtroom! He's been there enough times! I wish I could've pointed that out! Even the amicus had to hold up his hand to dickhead to make him shut up. But anyway, the whore was horrible, and a horrible liar to boot, contradicting herself several times as you do when you lie, and I wrote S a note saying, "She looks like an asshole. Keep it up!" Our atty. crucified her on several points and showed the court clearly she was lying. Then when it came time for the doddering old fool to cross-examine her, he passed the witness! Couldn't even stand to question his own client! Didn't want to make it any worse much, eh??? Then the amicus really got into her. He interrogated her dumb ass and frankly, destroyed her. It was great!!!

So we had to wrap it up by noon, and like I said, the whore's motley group of lying idiots all got to show up for nothing. The judge said our atty.'s would have to call the court clerk on Monday and try to get squeezed in somewhere. Outside in the hallway, the amicus met with us and our atty. He said that there is now a new outrageous allegation the whore is trying to spread (I'm not going to dignify her ridiculous lies with space on my blog) and he told us, meaning me and S, basically this: "You guys have got all the evidence, pictures, tapes, and they have nothing substantial." He even kind of laughed a little when he told us this new allegation. Bottom line is, HE KNOWS. Now he finally knows what he is dealing with. It is clear that he knows the whore and dickhead and the old bag are lying criminals, and I believe that he is appalled at the whore and her cronies. I also know now more than ever he is leaning towards giving custody to me and S. It's like I keep saying, what sane, reasonable person wouldn't???

My cousin even had called me on Sat. a.m. when I was a Job #2 to tell me that her lawyer friend is friends with the amicus, and they accidentally found this out when they realized that my cousin had testified in the amicus' case (ours). They ended up discussing our case a little bit. Then my cousin's lawyer friend told her about it. My cousin told me that based on the way her friend was talking, it sounds like the amicus is leaning towards me and S. Duh! I appreciated hearing that, and I definitely shared it with S and our atty., but it does not surprise me b/c the amicus is an intelligent, educated, reasonable man and the whore is a lying piece of shit and it truly doesn't take much at all to see that.

Now, if we can only wrap this up and FINISH!!!!!!!!!!!! Then, and only then will S and I begin to find peace. The amicus thinks we should be able to wrap this up before school starts so I can enroll the baby in Kindergarten near our house. I pray to God and Jesus and Mary that we get squeezed in in July so we can just end this bullshit.

Long Weekend Much Needed

I had to take an extended weekend. Insomnia struck again from 3am-7am on Monday morning and there was nothing I could do about it. So yesterday I called in sick to work and DH and I spent a long, luxurious day off together! We went to eat at La Mad. We went to see Ocean's 13, which was fun. We went shopping at Target. Later I got an ice cream sundae! Then we went running at the park with Tito J. We finished off the day by watching our DVD's of Tough Enough, the cool wrestling reality show, and I passed out before 10pm. I feel good today, better than I have in a long time.

And it was a Happy Father's Day that we had on Sunday, too! The baby and I gave DH his gifts, the new leather wallet w/grooming kit, and a picture I had printed out for her to color that said "Super Dad" and I supervised as she wrote her name on it. (She does it correctly but only if I supervise.) Uncle Mano had slept over on Sat. night so we woke his ass up and we all went to church w/Tito J. It was a local Baptist church, and DH liked it a lot! Tito J. not so much. I must admit, seeing the preacher wearing shorts and flip-flops threw me for a loop at first, but then I realized, "Well, Jesus preached in sandals." Anyway, I think DH definitely wants to go back. They have a lot of youth programs that he's interested in getting the baby involved in, and an awesome lending library. I guess if I have to be Baptist for awhile then I can, but I won't mention it to my grandfather!

After church we all went to eat sushi at a local place; it was ok. DH and I had been meaning to try this place and now we have and now we know! After that we bid adieu to Tito J. and the rest of us went to 1/2 Price Books so the baby could spend some of her b-day money. I ended up reading 21 books to her this entire weekend!

Health note: One good thing about the selling plasma experience, was I found out my iron is good. It should be, I've always taken multivitamins. I went off the Pill for good this week, so now birth control is all in DH's hands. However, starting about a month or so ago I seem to have developed this nervous tic on the right side of my nose near my eye. I'm not surprised, based on all that I've been through lately!!! And still have to go through later this week...

Insomnia and Headaches

But at least the zoo was fun last night! Yes, the daycare owner was a reasonable woman and let me take the baby at 6pm instead of waiting until 6:30 like the whore is insisting. I told her that I wanted to take the baby to the zoo for the members' party (and in fact, the other daycare worker told me that several other parents had plans to take their kids down there too) and she said that was fine, that she would answer the phone if the whore called and would tell her the baby was still there. Ha!

So we rushed down to the Houston zoo and had an hour to spend at the party, which is less than I wanted, but oh well. There was a kids' DJ (me and the baby danced the Electric Slide, which we'd also danced at the wedding a few weeks ago), magicians, free snacks, and a scavenger hunt which we completed and got some prizes! [Yes, I took pic's, coming later, you know how I am.] When we finally got home we were tired, sweaty, and exhausted! DH ended up having to make the bagel pizzas for dinner and I could only eat 1/2 of one!

I woke up at 4am today and couldn't go back to sleep. I managed to take a quick catnap at around 7am and then had a splitting headache again, due to the weather and all this stress. DH had told me when he got home from work that he has had it with the assholes at work, and he was not going to work today or tomorrow and they could kiss his ass. I approved of his taking some time off; after all, I need to watch out for his mental health too. Sometimes some things really are more important than money. Plus on Saturdays when I have to work at Job #2, like today, and when we have the baby are hard on me. I have to schlep her and all her bags of clothes, books, toys, and videos to my mom's and try to make it to Job #2 on time which I never do anyway. I certainly didn't today, there was no way I was going to make it in on time due to the bad shape I was in. The headache was really a migraine anyway, as the light was making it worse and I was nauseated to boot.

It finally rained a little bit ago and it was like someone snapped their fingers; my headache immediately dissipated. So now I'm just sleepy. We've got a fun Father's Day planned tomorrow! Hopefully church at the other church with Tito J., then taking DH to lunch (he wants sushi), then visiting Mudflap and his over-excited Rottweiler. And good news on the DH job front: he says he is definitely starting the assembler job in 2 weeks. More $ and better hours: Mon-Fri!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is that Victory I smell?!?

Yes, I love the smell of victory in the courtroom! Unfortunately, we did not get to finish our hearing yesterday due to a variety of reasons, the main one being that the doddering old fool opposing counsel is deliberately using stall tactics and besides that, he visibly agitated all 3 witnesses (S, my cousin, and S's so-called mother) b/c his questions are so very fucked-up and idiotic. But the judge knows what he's doing, and so does the amicus, and even though they can't come out and say anything, it's obvious to me that they have had their fill of the old fool and his crazy, lying client. So as far as I'm concerned it's going well for us, even if S did trip up while testifying a few times and fall for some dirty lawyer's tricks under cross examination, but that is b/c he gets too emotional and since he is not a details person, cannot recall all the facts exactly sometimes. I cannot wait to testify!!! I know all the lawyers' tricks and manipulations (as our atty. told us yesterday, that is a lawyer's job, to manipulate) and am way too sharp and smart and quick to fall for idiotic moves. I didn't read all those O.J. Simpson books this year for nothing. Not to mention all the other true crime, MDK, and trial books I've read my whole life, plus all the hours I've logged in with watching Judge Judy, the new People's Court, etc. I know how to play this game!!!

The whore and the lying old bag keep pissing off the all-important amicus. The bailiff even had to scold the lying old bag that if she didn't pipe down she would have to wait outside, and the amicus saw and heard that. The doddering old fool had an associate with him, and at one point the lying old bag hissed at him, "Why can't you just believe us?!?!?" and the associate said, "Vivian, you're not going to make a liar out of me!" and stormed off. Then when we were done for the day, the associate and the whore and the lying old bag accosted the amicus out in the hallway and accused him of serving as our advocate (mine and S's)! Yeah, way to alienate the amicus, the child's atty., whose opinion is vital in the custody case! Good, they can just keep pissing him off and making him realize with his own eyes and ears who the dangerous crazy nut liars are in this case!

God, I cannot wait for next week. And thank the good Lord that we got squeezed in for next week, b/c the judge said at first that the next available date wasn't until September. When I heard that I wanted to cry. But the judge pulled some strings (see--I believe he knows what's going on here) and got us in for next Thurs. I'm going to use words like "habitual, incorrigible fabricator" and "scofflaw" when describing the whore. See, I know legal terms too, old fool! I can't wait to destroy his dumb ass on cross, and I'll do it while "Yes Sir"ing him and "No Sir"ing him to death. I dare him to attack me and I will cherish the fight. I just feel bad that 2 of our witnesses didn't get to testify. But at least we got my cousin and S's POS mom in there. They both did great. At one point S's mother testified that she thought S was more stable now than he's ever been in his life. At first, that gave me a warm feeling in my heart to hear her admit that, but then I thought, "No thanks to you, bitch!" When I saw her and her husband in the hallway, I strode right past them and ignored them, which is exactly what they deserve.

Mudflap was one of the witnesses who we did not have time to get to. But fortunately he will be able to return next Thursday, thank God again. Unbelievably, S had to rush off to work when we were done so he could close down, and we were all outraged at that bullshit. So since I was all wired up and burned out and carless, Mudflap took me to eat comfort food in the form of all-you-can-eat Crab legs, his treat! I ended up not ordering the all-you-can-eat, but got shrimp and a margarita instead, which hit the spot. However, I've still had a headache for almost 24 hours now.

So tonight I get to play the frustrating game of "Will the Daycare let me Take the Baby at 6pm Instead of at 6:30 So that She and I can go to Zoobilee, the Free Members-Only Kids Party at the Zoo tonight?" I was going to leave work at 3 and go pick her up early since the party is from 5-8 but then the daycare owner told me 2 weeks ago that the whore is insisting we not get the baby until 6:30 on the dot, like the court order says! And I told the daycare owner that that was fine, and that we were going to use this in court to show yet another example of the whore's uncooperation and unreasonableness. I hope she likes that rope of hers b/c she's using it to slowly strangle herself, and she is way too stupid and insane to stop!

Mothers In Law

I spoke to our atty. this a.m. and she says we are good to go tomorrow!!! She says both she and the amicus called the court clerk to verify that yes, we are on at 1:30 in front of the judge. She also says that she had an extremely difficult case yesterday where there was minimal evidence and the dad still got custody so she feels like she is on a roll. I pointed out that in OUR case, we have all the good evidence so tomorrow should be a no-brainer. I am finally starting to let myself feel a little good about tomorrow--all this time I've tried not to think about it too much b/c it is too draining on my body and soul to get my hopes up and to keep having them dashed by all the rescheduling, postponements, etc. But it seems as though we are really going to get in there tomorrow and WIN. I CANNOT WAIT.

I still need to double check w/my witnesses Mudflap and my cousin, but Tito J. is rarin' to go. Also S swears his so-called mother will be there. I suppose I'm going to have the unpleasant task of laying eyes on her and her husband again, though Lord knows I'd love few things more than to have nothing to do with them. We were discussing her on Monday night and S asked me hypothetically what it would take for there to be peace between us ever again. I said, "An apology and a whole lot of money" b/c I know that neither will ever take place!!! S says she will never apologize and he also said I would never accept, b/c that's the kind of person I am, that I am not forgiving. Well, not to incorrigible assholes and criminals, I'm not!

While lounging around the house yesterday, I watched the Greg Behrendt show. S even likes his show, and it's true the guy does keep it real. Coincidentally, on the show was a daughter whose husband and mother hate each other! I watched, fascinated, wondering if S's mom and I will ever be able to speak civilly to each other someday. Then I realized, why would there ever be a need for us to? B/c she has basically written off her son and her granddaughter, my husband and child. S says she knows she fucked up by making me her enemy, but she doesn't care. And that is why she is an asshole, always was an asshole, and always will be an asshole! So we don't need her in our lives. Ever. Even so, I told S, would I rather have a relationship with my husband's family? Do I envy a little bit stories of daughters-in-law and sisters-in-law trying to fit in and find their place with their new husband's family? Well, yes! I'm a people person and I would have preferred to have gotten a new family and new friends and new birthday parties and new households to spend the holidays at, when I married. But I'm not going to accept a shitty family full of shitty people, and the facts show clearly that S's mother and sisters are Grade A Shitpiles. The End.

Preventive Sick Day

I had to take a preventive sick day today from Job #1. That's b/c last night when I got home from work, DH and I were supposed to go to our weekly run/walk and I was feeling pretty wiped out and hungry and not in the mood. But we went anyway, though we just walked. So this a.m. I woke up at 5:34 am to go to the bathroom, then couldn't go back to sleep. DH wandered into the bedroom about 30 min. later (he'd been sleeping downstairs where it's much cooler and also to avoid my snoring) and he couldn't sleep either. Tuesdays are my 12-13-hour/2 job days. I knew that I would be asking for trouble if I tried to attempt a 13-hour day on that little sleep and that general feeling of being worn out. On top of everything else, I've had a bunch of little errands and chores that have been needing to get done for the past few days that I just haven't been able to get to, so I called in "sick" (made up a story about my allergies since that's at least a socially acceptable, less complicated excuse) and blissfully slept in with DH.

He actually went into work today on his day off so he could get in some more hours and make some more $, and I finally accomplished most of the little errands I've had to do: drop off at the drycleaners, wet dusting and vacuuming the master bedroom, getting the latest round of pic's off the digital camera, buying my navy blue pumps and a wallet and grooming set for DH for Father's Day (w/15% off coupon, yay), hard-cooking eggs and making tuna fish. I also read, lounged around on the couch, and watched some of Urban Cowboy, one of the funniest movies ever made. (L. and I had to text some choice lines from it to each other while I was watching.)

Pic's will be posted tomorrow, I'm sure. I even took one of my ghastly right arm with the bruise now creeping up past the elbow on its way to my tattoo!

Wasn't worth it

...selling my plasma, that is. It was about one of the worst experiences ever, and I can't see doing it again, not even for $30. Hell, not even for $40 which is what I would make if I went back this week.

At first, the experience rated a 3 on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the best experience of your life and 1 being Hell on earth. And the only reason it rated as high as a 3 was b/c I found the whole fact that I was even there a little amusing. Plus I knew that no matter what happened I would learn something from it, and sometimes you can't place a price on experience no matter how many autobiographies you read! So that's why it rated as high as a 3 although if I had been in a different frame of mind, on a different day, I wouldn't have even waited long enough to get the whole experience under my belt. It was just my good luck that I was finishing up Comanche Moon, where Capt. Inish Scull is walking into Mexico to retrieve his stolen war horse, Hector, from the deadly torturer Ahumado, and although Capt. Scull knows he is walking into certain danger, torture, and perhaps death, he doubted there was a happier man alive than he!

So today my right arm has got a good-looking bruise on it, and that's not even the arm they got the plasma out of. I spent all day in a ghetto living room surrounded by loud, low-class people (90% blacks) comparing their jail experiences. I was at the plasma center for over 6 hours and got violently ill. I still don't know how I managed to keep it together and amazingly enough, even drive myself home. I spent the rest of the day and night on the couch, unable to do much more than just lie there. I couldn't even straighten my right arm, it hurt so much. I was terribly thirsty and drank so much water the rest of the weekend and I don't even know where it went; I assume my body was processing it as fast as it could.

But like I said, at least I learned something which is: I am not desperate enough to make $30 doing this. It definitely was not worth sitting in a dirty ghetto living room with the criminal element, getting so sick I was out of commission for an entire day, and having both my arms tortured and my veins infiltrated by incompetents so that now I look like a heroin junkie. L. and Mudflap both agreed that's what I look like! Man, Blood Center, I'll be coming back to you as soon as I can to give it to you for free!

Climbing High

Just got through reading yet another Mount Everest autobiography. This makes in the neighborhood of at least a dozen that I've read over the years. This one was unsatisfying although it had the potential to be just as awesome as most of them out there. He's just not a writer, but still a fascinating character. It was autobio-lite. I hate it when that happens.

Of course, it's hard to follow in the tracks of Jon Kraukauer, or even Beck Weathers. I remember when I met Beck Weathers, who I thought was a total nut but still, I just had to meet him!!! It was May of 2002 and the Medical Library Association annual conference was in Dallas. The library asked me if I would like to go, and I politely declined. Then I found out Dr. Weathers was the keynote speaker! I hustled to go after all, drove up to Dallas, and I got to the hotel meeting room in plenty of time to get a front row seat for his speech. I spotted Dr. Weathers in the hallway and, having forgotten my camera, ran to the hotel gift shop and snatched one up. I ran up to Dr. Weathers and asked if he would please take a picture with me and sign my program. He was happy to do both, and posed for the picture with his hook behind my back! He signed my program, "To Adela, Climb High" and I have always treasured the note and the sentiment. Another really cool thing happened before he spoke. Before he was introduced, he ended up sitting next to me in the front row. I leaned over to him and asked him a question I was dying to know. I asked him, "All those hours that you were stuck up on the mountain [he was temporarily blinded from the effects of his recent Lasik surgery and had to stick to the side of the mountain for several hours], what in the world were you thinking about???" He simply replied that he was just trying to stay warm. Seriously, he was stuck for a couple of hours at least. I was hoping for something more pithy, but oh well. I've never been on Everest--and never will be!!!

Mount Everest has been in the news a lot lately b/c May is the time to ascend, if you're going to attempt it. I'm not sure why Mt. Everest fascinates me so, when I have zero interest in ever going to see it in person. From what I've heard Kathmandu is disgusting. Yet, anytime I find a book on Everest, I am compelled to read it! It's probably just due to my own adventurous spirit.

New Leather Pumps

Nothin' like a pair of new leather pumps to make a gal feel, well, ballsy! And of course, I got 'em on sale, at over $20 off, keeping at my budget. I had to search awhile for them, weeding through all the low-rent "man made material" pumps b/c for me and others of discerning good taste, only real leather pumps will do. The ones I finally decided on are sexy peep-toe, a kind of shoe I've never gotten for work before but that's ok since I do keep up with my home-done pedicures, and the heels are a little higher than I normally prefer for work (3") but so what. A little change never hurt anyone! I also wanted to buy the same pair in navy blue but they didn't have my size (9--yes I've got big feet) so I might go grab them this weekend at another store since they're on sale and everything. Ok, is this too long a post to devote to shoes already? You can read more about last night's shopping experience from a financial/quality of life viewpoint over on my Personal Finance blog.

Didn't see S last night since he went to the Weird Al concert w/his friend from work and they rode together. I was busy anyway, doing 2 loads of laundry, taking out the trash, and doing a bunch of other stuff around the house. Later he texted me that his friend wanted to go to a bar (God, I can't wait for him to quit working at Harley and around that kind of element) so he was just going to crash at said friend's house. I heard from him this a.m. but we didn't get to discuss the concert b/c he told me the Academy guy was actually going to meet up with him today to discuss these assembler positions. I thought that whole scenario sounded off, so I just told S I wanted all the details on this before we decide to take this job or not!

The other task I had to take care of last night was to watch this strange movie called Waking Up in Reno. It seemed to have potential but it was not very good. But Billy Bob is always fun to watch! Now S can return it at Blockbuster and get whatever next flick he wants.

News: bad(?), good, bad

Bad (?) news: S is driving me crazy, and not in that good way. Now he says he is going to hold off on starting to work at Toyota tomorrow b/c his friend just got a new job at Academy putting together bicycles, grills, etc. and that the hours are good (8-4, M-F) and you get paid by how many pieces you put together. He says he is going to go meet with the manager at a store nearer to our house on Monday and see what it's all about. I have to say that, although the $ doesn't sound like it'll be as glorious as you can potentially make selling Toyota cars, I would prefer him to work more family-friendly hours and also work closer to the house. BUT, he still needs to decide on what he's really going to do, as they say, "when he grows up!!!"

Good news: I found a MK lady to do that class for me next week! Yay, and FINALLY after having like, 7 MK chicks I know turn me down for various reasons. I found this girl on the damn Internet so thank God she has her website up. So I'll pay her $50 and pocket $25 so the day is not a total loss.

Bad/sad news: Our ghetto AMC movie theater has shut down!!! S was driving by the other night and saw they'd taken all the posters down and had a sign saying, "Thank you for 20 years." We and Tito J. are so sad. That theater is right down the street from us and gives AMC rewards/points and we've seen a hell of a lot of movies there since we moved into the neighborhood a year ago. Bummer! Now where are we gonna go for matinees, taking the baby, etc.?!?!???

Pissing match

So I had the confrontation/pissing match today with that jerk Deb H. at Job #1. She won 1/2 by stating that the summer intern is mine, no matter what, and I'm stuck with her even though this was not what was written into our grant. However, I won 1/2 by stating that all these stupid meetings Deb H. is trying to call in the future are completely superfluous and there's no point in me attending them, and my colleague sitting in on the meeting agreed. I also ticked off Deb H. by letting her know that I couldn't be at the intern's orientation next week b/c I have a dentist appt. (ha). She got pretty upset and started in about how I'm not being a team player and psycho director almost fired me that day a few months ago, blah blah blah. I sat with my poker face on, not really caring. I was pretty amused to hear the frustration in Deb H.'s whiny voice. [I know I'm playing with fire, but seriously, I don't care. If they fire me then I will have that excuse to go play cops and robbers full time. HPD is offering $6K signing bonuses--which'll make up for having to wear those awful blue shirts that show your pit stains! And we all know I'd make an excellent cop and have a hell of a lot more fun.] She then switched to kissing my ass and said that I need to start making the presentations to the Library Friends, our funders, b/c I have so many talents and need to showcase them. She said my website presentation is awesome and no one else can do it. I then told her well, my mouth still has a bad taste in it from those lies and insults that she told about me back in September, and that our former HR person was supposed to get me and Deb H. into a conflict resolution class at the EAP and never did. I pointed out that since she's in fact on my website team, then she should have no problem doing the intern's orientation next week for me (Ha! Score!).

After the meeting I told my colleague, verbatim, that Deb H. is full of shit and she agreed. Our dept. is meeting with our newly hired HR person tomorrow and she suggested I bring up the conflict resolution thing, which I will! If they aren't going to fire me, yet force me to work with that asshole, then we are going to need some therapy! Hey--I'm willing.

Speaking of getting fired, I'm at Job #2 right now and they informed me that the children's lib. was fired. I was like, man what do you have to do to get fired around here? When I was working at Houston P.L. you almost had to kidnap the mayor and hold him hostage just to get a 3-day suspension WITH pay.

I'm feeling a little calmer these days, even without the benefit of Valium. When we went running with Tito J. last night he offered to accompany us to a local Baptist church since S says my Methodist church is too uptight! Last night Mano came over and stayed the night; S was happy to have a wrestling-watching partner since I'm a little burned out on that scene too these days. The only thing I'm really stressed out about is I cannot find a fellow MK lady to do that class for me next week at the Library that I'll have to miss since we'll be in court! Seriously, I've had 5 of them turn me down already! I also can't believe some of my fellow MK sisters are still in it, all these years later and I am able to track them down easily by searching for their website. Heavy.

Bible and sword

"Bible and sword, bible and sword" is the favorite expression of the Texas Ranger Capt. Inish Scull from Larry McMurtry's Comanche Moon, which is what I'm currently reading (in addition to about 3-4 other books, as I am wont to do). Good expression! I'm going to start using it. S is glad I'm off the "MDK", or Murder, Death, Kill books, as he calls them. I told him I did indeed get a little burned out on those and enjoy re-reading McMurtry's books, especially these days, b/c they're about warriors, soldiers, fighters, victors, and that is the mindset I need to be in. After all, I was named after a soldier. (Just ignore that part about the brothel, heh heh.)

Awesome, activity-filled weekend. I'll try to muster up the energy to get the pic's off the digcam tonight after we go running with Tito J.

Also, everyday I'm going to wear the Jesus/Mary/Saints/ bracelet that P. gave me for my b-day to remind me that if I'm worried, I have no faith. (Thanks, Joel Osteen!)

If I hear "Oh Susannah" one more time...

I'm going to sing along again! So far it seems the baby's favorite present is the little keyboard I got for her. It plays several songs including "Oh Susannah." I've been trying to sing along but I couldn't remember the lyrics totally, so I just looked them up here at Job #2. Woo-whee! Holy David Duke! They got some racist words in that ditty! Or at least one of the versions I found. This song was definitely written before the War of Northern Aggression.

I'm happy b/c tonight we are going to Accordion Fest and L. is meeting us there with her man and her baby. We think it's hilarious that her 18-month old weighs only 3 lbs. less than my baby who is, as we all know if you've been keeping up lately, 5 now. She told me my baby is severely underweight (which she's not!). I said her baby is severely OVERWEIGHT.

I took the baby last night to pick out her own b-day cake b/c #1., We'd neglected to do it yet, and #2., I thought she'd have fun doing it herself, which she did. We'll pick it up tomorrow and I can't wait to eat a whole bunch of it myself. It's actually a cake made out of 24 cupcakes and is covered with Disney Princesses. This seems to be the latest trend in little girls' cakes.

Speaking of the Civil War era and L. (and yes, there's an actual connection here which I will make shortly), she had me cracking up on Thursday when I was feeling really low. This is why I keep her around! We like to quote lines from our favorite movies to each other, specifically Cheech and Chong's Up In Smoke, Urban Cowboy, and several John Waters classics. The other day was Cheech and Chong. We were quoting: "Jettison me into the paddies!" "Sounds very Latin. Could be the Mexican Connection." "Don't answer the phone, even if it's me calling!" Anyway, there's a character in that movie named "Strawberry" which I think is a funny, great name! That made me think of the character in Lonesome Dove, the fat mean wife named Peach--also a good name in my opinion. Which made me wonder, what's the big deal about babies getting named after fruit these days? Seems like it's been done for awhile now!

Finally pic's from last weekend

I managed to finally get these off the digcam last night.

Here's me and baby at Auntie R.'s house last Sat., wearing our cute dresses and cowboy boots on the way to the wedding that night. The wedding, btw, was awesome! It was your typical big wedding w/buffet, DJ, and big dance floor. I was so impressed to even see that they had a kids' table there, covered with crayons, coloring books, stickers, etc.! I don't think I've ever seen that at a wedding before, but of course, the bride was Mexican so it was naturally a kid-friendly wedding. That's generally how we Mexicans get down. The baby made friends with the other kids fast like she always does (that always makes me so proud! Especially when you consider how painfully timid and shy I was as a child. I love seeing how fast she always makes friends everywhere we go!!!) and was running around being a social butterfly.

Here she is on the dance floor, surrounded by her new friends and especially that cute little black girl in the blue/green/yellow dress. Their table was actually behind ours so that little girl became her best friend all night long. Just like at that last wedding we went to in February, I could not drag the baby off the dance floor. I tried to teach her some of my moves as well! When they got the Soul Train going she and I went down it together! Then she and 3 other little girls held hands and tried to monopolize the Soul Train, cracking everyone up, seen here:

At 9:30 pm, "Are you ready to go?" "No." At 10:30 pm, "Are you ready to go?" "No." Finally at 11pm the DJ played the last song and we HAD to go. Besides that, she was the only kid there left, I think!
The next day we went to church and she had to give the Good Reverend Dr. P a hug again. I told him it was the highlight of her Sunday, to give him a hug! We are really, really, REALLY going to miss him when he leaves this month. I'm going to miss his sermons, he's old school and makes even me want to be and act holy, which is a feat in itself. Then we met B. and T., my dearest friends from college, who were visiting from Dallas. We treated them to the zoo!

B. and I got a wild streak and actually crawled through this tunnel too. I was tired of seeing the baby always have all the fun! Unfortunately, it was kind of tough on us. Our knees hurt after doing it and we barely managed to squeeze out the other side!!!

The baby here with her Uncle T. Finally, after much zoo madness they followed us to our house where we met DH when he got off work. We went to dine at a local BBQ place near the house we'd never tried before. Good stuff.

Then we went for dessert at TCBY since it's, you know, healthy. Ha ha.

Monday, the holiday, was beach day! Tito J. had said that even if it rained he was still going down there, b/c now that he's into surfing, turbulent weather causes the best waves. B. and T. were also game, so down we all went! Also L. and her new man met us there.

S had to borrow Tito J.'s friend's surfboard and disappear for a little while. Unfortunately no one caught a good wave the entire day b/c they were just too small. I borrowed Tito J.'s boogie board and caught several good boogie waves, however. Finally, we ended the day when it truly became too cold and windy to be out there, though we did get a couple of good beach hours in! I broke out into hives while showering which S said was a reaction to the salt water. It was horrible! Then we went to Joe's Crab Shack, then we all bid adieu! S and I had to immediately head north to drop off the baby, sadly.

Today I'll be picking her up since S decided not to start at Toyota until this pay cycle at Harley is over, next Thursday. So since we still need every last dollar, I said I'd just go get her today so he can work late. Unfortunately tomorrow I have to work at Job #2 and so she'll stay with my mom again, but I've got her b-day gifts wrapped and ready for her to open tonight, plus bought good snacks/provisions for tomorrow so hopefully it'll all go well. Sunday is her b-day party at the Chuck! Pic's to follow, asap!