I Feel like Jones

Jones, that is, a character in one of my all-time favorite books, Confederacy of Dunces. Jones is a black, vagrant kind of guy who is very strongly urged to obtain gainful employment by the local police. But it seems that the only job he can get is as a sweeper/porter at a sleazy French Quarter nightclub run by a mean, nasty bitch named Lana. Lana knows that Jones needs a job or the cops are going to continue to run him in, and therefore she takes delight in verbally abusing him and underpaying him. Jones, in retaliation, begins a massive yet subversive sabatoge campaign against Lana and the bar. In the end, Jones wins out and Lana and her secret, illegal activities get her arrested and thrown into jail and the cops give Jones a public citation and he gets a new, better job, etc. etc. But throughout the book it's a constant battle between Jones and Lana, Jones constantly threatening to quit and Lana constantly threatening to fire Jones and report him to the police. It really is funny how it all plays out, though and the banter and insults between them really are hilarious.

So I feel like Jones b/c once again I am so pissed off at Job #1 I'm ready to quit. I even had to call DH yesterday crying, saying I was going to quit. This is the 3rd time I've felt this way in the past 9 months. DH convinced me to calm down and gave me some counsel. The big thing from him though, is that he does not want me to be a full-time cop. So that's out. He also says I can't quit until I line up another librarian job. Fortunately, I had a break yesterday during which I took a few hours off to go teach a skin care class and make some $. When I got back to work I began looking for other librarian jobs, and to be honest, at this point I don't even care about trying to find one that pays as well as this one! As long as I can find gainful employment at a library and can bring home a paycheck, that's all I care about. So I quickly updated my resume and got a cover letter out to one opening I saw. But other than that, it really is slim pickings these days, as far as jobs that will work for my schedule and that I am qualified for.

I did make an effort this a.m. though and met with our Human Resources person to see if we can fix the problems that I've got going on here. She is going to let me know if/when we can meet with the appropriate people about this. I just need to know if it's going to be possible for me to have a future here or not; if not, then they just need to tell me so that I can move on. B/c the latest problem I have is yet again with the Library Director, who allegedly told that asshole Deb. H that I have an "attitude problem" and so she allegedly asked Deb. H to meet with me and my coworker to discuss it. Well, I refused to meet b/c if the library director has a problem with me, then I think she and I need to discuss it, and that's why I got H.R. involved. And both my coworker and I disagree with the library director that I said anything at all at a meeting on Tuesday that should lead her to believe I have this alleged attitude problem! We were all in that meeting, so I have witnesses who are just as perplexed as I am. Of course, you can't believe anything that comes out of Deb. H's lying mouth anyway, which is the other reason I had to get H.R. involved. Because frankly, there are just too many assholes trying to run the show here and I need to get to the bottom of what is really going on.

In other news, I rehearsed last night with L. and Jimmy. L. very much frustrated me and Jimmy. Although she assured me many times over the past week that she could do the gig and play drums, it wasn't until we got to rehearsal last night that she asked us what a "train beat" was. I was pissed that she had told me over and over that she could do it, and then when I bring her to Jimmy's she pretty much crashed and burned. She wasn't as bad as the last guy we rehearsed with, but it's not going to work out, I don't think. And I was pissed that she had given me all this reassurance and Jimmy had believed me--well, I believed her! This is what happens when you listen to alcoholics. I should've known better.

The good news is that DH definitely now has his $ for the Sony PSP that he wants since we sold those Astros tickets I won at the Sheriff's meeting the other night. They were 4 tix worth $200 and we sold them for $120. Hell of a deal. I do think poor DH deserves a little treat. His new job is kicking his ass and he is so tired--not that I've even seen him much this week with all my night-time shit going on. And tonight I have to work at Job #2.