Skipped Out, Oh Well

So we ended up NOT going out with the cadets yesterday to train them in scenarios. After all the fuss about going and letting the whore have the baby this weekend so we wouldn't have to worry about a babysitter, S decides on Friday night he doesn't want to go anymore! He was ticked off at Mudflap who kept dicking around about giving us a ride and if so, where we would meet him, yadda yadda so S just said forget it. I went out on Friday night to see the Hacienda Bros. and although I still wanted to go help out on Saturday, I didn't mind sleeping in on Sat. morning either! So we just didn't go and I only felt a little bad about skipping out.

We had a great day together yesterday. I didn't even venture downstairs until the early afternoon. Now that we have cable in the master bedroom I just lounged around up there all morning. S went for a run and when he came back he hung out with me too. We played Jeopardy! and I won, naturally! Then we decided to get out of the house and go see Batman. I am not big on superhero movies but I really, really liked this one! Health Ledger was quite brilliant just like everyone is saying.

Currently I'm at Job #1 for a quick Sunday shift. S is going to pick me up at 6, at which time we'll head up north to pick up the baby. The whore was there promptly on Friday for drop off so she just better get used to this new location. It was great only having to drive 1/2 as far as usual. The whore's fat-ass sister was there and handed us a dental evaluation for the baby dated May 5 that showed how much it would cost to fix the baby's 5 cavities. So the whore has had since May 5 to fix them and she hasn't even bothered and yet nobody--lawyers, judges, CPS--gives a shit. I told S she is just going to have to fix them and that's all there is to it. She gets primary custody, she gets to take care of all this and we will pay our 50% portion of what it costs to her within 180 days just like the court order says! Enjoy! End of story.

We are definitely getting a little stressed b/c S still has not found a job. But now that the baby will only be here on weekends again starting in August, soon he can refocus on his search. He's going to take the test for our Reserves on Aug. 9 and I just pray he can start working with us as soon as possible afterwards. We are hoping that now that he is no longer involved in a messy custody battle that will help with his job search. (We suspect some of the agencies did not like the sound of that.)

Tonight I told S we could go to the sports bar after we pick up the baby and watch the wrestling PPV. It'll be a fun ending to our weekend and this upcoming week is also packed with more fun family activities including the zoo, the circus, and a free family movie out under the stars down in the Town of Sugar!

Why???

Oh, Jesus. The baby is at that stage. "Why?" for everything in the world. We can't watch a movie or tv in peace. I don't mind answering her if we're out and about and I have the opportunity to really explain or teach something to her, but I have begun to ignore her when we are in the movies or watching something at home. If I ignore her while we're doing that, literally 1/10th of a second later she's forgotten she asked anyway and moves on. Not S. Once again he is her chump, trying to address her every last little need and question. Then he wonders why he's so worn out in dealing with her!

We had a session on Tuesday night with our therapist who confirmed that S overextends himself too much to the detriment of his own well-being. He confirmed the analogy that I have been telling S for the past 3 years of putting on your own face mask for oxygen when it comes down in the airplane before helping the young child you're with. The analogy is that YOU have to take care of YOURSELF first, be it your own physical and mental health and your needs b/c if you don't, you will burn out and be of little assistance to anyone else who may need you. Duh! It's not being selfish, it's being wise.

We had great fun on Wednesday night, though. We went to see TUTS perform the music of Disney. Free fun in the park, what more could you ask for! I remember my first TUTS performance, it was Annie--years ago. I think my dad took me. I was enchanted and so was the baby on Wednesday! This is when it's so much fun to be a mom and watch your kid enjoy the same magical moments you had when you were a kid. It's these moments that make being a parent so worth it. She wanted to sit on my lap, not S's, the entire time and I gladly let her!

Tonight we have to go drop her off so she can spend the weekend with the BM (Biological Mother/Bowel Movement, either/or). Then late tonight, I really really want to go see the Hacienda Bros. play at the Continental! It will never be the same b/c my beloved Chris Gaffney, God rest his soul, will not be there, but I still want to go out and support them. If I go I should see several friends out there as well, which'll be nice since Tupak-loving-S does not go for this kind of music and will be at home watching wrestling, no doubt, while I'm out.

Only one more Skin Care Class to go this summer and then I am back down to working only 3 jobs! Yay! Also I'm taking 2 1/2 days off from work next week. God knows I need them! I'm taking the baby to the circus. God knows I need that, too!

Peaks and Valleys

The last few days have been really harsh and I don't even know if the peaks and valleys are balancing each other out. So here's the good/bad/ugly and I guess we'll just see how it all works itself out.

UGLY: We went to court on Friday. Mediation was rescheduled to this week b/c the lawyers thought we came to an agreement. And ultimately we went ahead and signed on the dotted line, so now we are not going to go to Mediation after all. We are not going to pursue a jury trial for custody of the baby. That's bad for us (and the baby). Good for us: S's child support remains at a piddly amount for the whore since he is currently not working. Seriously, the amount he pays is less than 1/2 of what I make monthly at Job #2. Bad: S also has to start paying for the baby's health insurance. Good: The whore ain't getting one penny of back child support. Bad: We agreed to drop our enforcement action against her and she has promised to just give us 2 makeup weekends for the ones she made us miss. But now she won't be paying any of our legal fees that this made us run up. Good: Not going to mediation saved us $600. Also good: She has agreed to start meeting us halfway down the highway so we don't have to drive all the way up to another county to drop off the baby. Also good: Everyone gets phone calls to the baby when she is with the other parent. Also good: The baby is getting our last name added. (Though the whore is now adding her [or more accurately, her ex-husband's!] last name too--but ours is going to be the legal last name.) Also good: During the school year we get to pick up the baby when her school lets out at 3pm on Fridays, so our weekends are now extended somewhat. Also good: the whore has to file an "Affidavit of Non-Prosecution" saying she does not want criminal charges pursued against S for all the lies she has told police about him. Not that the charges were ever going to be pursued anyway, but now it will be on the record that she pretty much was lying about everything to begin with. Bad: I STILL DON'T TRUST HER TO FOLLOW THE COURT ORDERS. But like I said, we'll just have to see what happens when it comes to that.

I had to call her today to see if she wanted to pick up the baby this weekend or the next. She said the next but then sent a text message asking if she could have this weekend after all. I responded that would be fine and this works out really well for us b/c now S can come with me and Mudflap on Saturday when we are going to play bad guys for the cadets currently going through the Reserves academy. It will be great fun!

Bad: The whore is still showing her insanity/evilness. While on the phone today she asked me how the baby was doing (this was the longest conversation she and I have ever had, since for the past 3 years we've been despising each other with a black hatred) and I said fine, and she asked how the baby's skin was doing and I told her that the impetigo cleared up pretty much within a few days. The whore then said that the baby was like that the last time she picked her up (implying picked up from US!) and that she'd had to take her to the Dr. and get that medicine. I realized then that there was absolutely no point in arguing her, or angrily telling her that was not possible since the medication was prescribed on June 26 and we hadn't even SEEN the baby since the 22nd. There was absolutely no point in wasting my breath, spit, or time. I mean, what is she gonna do?!? Call CPS again? They already know she's a liar. She can't do anything anymore except make up shit inside her own sick head. She can rant and rave all she wants and it isn't going to make a damn bit of difference to anyone--unless she wants to go back to court and start all over again. S said that all the whore and dickhead want to do is get a rise out of me, and it's good that I finally realized there's no point in letting them do that since they are completely inconsequential now. I guess maybe this has turned into a good thing, since I don't need to let myself get so pissed off anymore, just mildly annoyed from now on as if she were a simple-minded mosquito buzzing around my space for just a few minutes.

More Good: We had fun this past weekend, going back to the Discovery Green park so we could frolic in the water park and the downtown library so S and the baby could play the Wii and I could sit next to them and read. And I slept LATE on both days. Bliss.

Also good: S figured out that the baby has cable tv in her room. So he hooked up her tv and then bought a splitter and 50-foot cord and ran it into our bedroom. So now we finally have cable tv upstairs! No more fighting over what to watch! And now we don't have to buy those goverment digital cable boxes.

Somewhat bad: Now there's a long white cord snaking from bedroom floor to bedroom floor across the landing upstairs and it looks somewhat silly. Ah, so what!

Nooooooooooooo!

I'm doomed. I have to have this procedure done, and if it looks really bad once he's inside, possibly this procedure. Tasty! The periodontist has to work on 2 areas of my gums. It is going to be way freakin' expensive, even with my good insurance. I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS.

Enough of that. In other news, maybe it's been too long. S's mother gave him $500 so we can fix our cop car, the Bluesmobile. But he says I need to finally think about forgiving her for her past transgressions. What would those transgressions be? Let me count them:

1. LYING to S about me, saying I told her to stay away from me on our wedding day. NEVER happened!!!
   
2. Coming down with strep throat and kissing the baby on the mouth right in front of me!!!
3. LYING to S saying that she had a carseat and could pick the baby up for us once, then come to find out later that she really had no carseat!!!
   
4. INSULTING me to S, saying that I would not raise the baby right, ESPECIALLY offensive when you consider the total mothering incompetence SHE displays (see #2 and #3).
   

But S says it hurts him that she and I don't speak, get along, or have anything to do with each other. He also wants the baby to eventually know her other grandmother. After much long heated discussion and debate last night (and me reminding him of the above list b/c he'd forgotten a lot of it) I finally reached a compromise. If he can get her to apologize to me and ask for my forgiveness, I agreed to give it to her. BUT! I'm still not ready for the baby to be around her yet. I told S I would prefer his mother get some good professional mental health treatment first. So we'll see how big of a women she'll turn out to be and we'll see if I get the apology she owes me. See Adela not hold her breath.

In other fun news, I got me one of them Tasers at home now! We were issued our very own Taser at the monthly meeting last week. I am tickled, but it is going to be a challenge to fit it onto my belt. There were a few comments from fellow deputies along the lines of I should eat more so I have a bigger bootie, waist, and belt. It's tempting! I was giving it a "spark test" one night and the baby came running out of her room to see what the noise was and I told her it was Mommy's new gun, heh heh!

So Much Fun

Well, we had an excellent Fourth of July! We went to Tito J.'s brother's house, as the baby and I did last year (S was at work last year and missed out). It's actually almost worth it that S is not working presently so we can do fun things together as a family. We had a great time and ate some good barbecue and enjoyed watching Tito J. setting off lots of outrageous fireworks!

And the other great part of being a parent is what we did on Saturday. We went downtown to the new Discovery Green park and played with turtles. Tito J. came with us as he had not yet seen the new park. After turtles we watched the baby frolic in the kiddie water park and even I scampered through the water once or twice! Then we had lunch at the cafe onsite, which is quite reasonably priced. The day ended with a trip to the new downtown library, again which Tito J. had not yet seen. Now that he is a library administrator in San Antonio, he took lots of pic's throughout the building and called his trip there a "work-ation", though I later coined it a "investi-cation"! Tito J. and I poked around the entire building, saying hi to old friends and taking pic's while S and the baby were in the chirren's room playing Wii. (Naturally, my pic's will be posted later, as always.)

Yesterday I had to work at Job #1, then I went to the gym, then went grocery shopping, and here's where the bad part about being a parent pops up. For the last 2 nights the baby has not gone to sleep when we've told her and I found her downstairs with S at 11:30 pm on Saturday night! So I had to scold both of them and send her little butt back upstairs, NOW! (I really do feel like I have 2 kids sometimes, Jesus help me.) Then last night she was still awake in her room at midnight, having a camp out on the floor. Again, into bed, NOW!

I told S he better damn well think of some consequences that will grab her attention. The no snow-cone thing doesn't seem to be working out too well, which is surprising since the snow-cone stand is literally in the parking lot next to our house and we see it every day. So today I met them for lunch at Chik-Fil-A near my work and she had the nerve to ask for an ice cream with sprinkles. I told her that if she goes to sleep when we say then she can have one the next time we come back. I also told S that tonight she will not get to go to sleep with a movie playing like we usually let her do, and she will have to lie there in the dark in silence and fall asleep that way tonight. He agreed with my consequences. Why do I always have to think them up??? S called me a little while ago to tell me that the baby fell asleep in the car on the way to Target, so he just went home and put her down. SEE?!?!?!??!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!? Oh, she is not going to be a happy camper tonight at 10 when she is lying there in the dark trying to fall asleep now after an afternoon of napping! Her problem, not mine!

I admit that I am strict, but cliche as it sounds, "it really is for her own good!" There's nothing but truth in that statement. She needs to be on a good sleep schedule so she is not tired and cranky the next day and so her energy level and immune system stay up. I had chronic bags under my eyes the entire school year all the way from preschool to junior high b/c my parents did not enforce a bedtime and I'm also such a natural night owl. I just don't want to see those ugly dark bags under my baby's eyes like I always had.

My parents raised me in the philosophical vein of "Free to Be, You and Me" which was great in a lot of ways but perhaps not so great in other ways that I would point out except for I don't want my friends finally recognizing and understanding some of my personality flaws. I still believe children truly want structure and consistency. Just as we are all overwhelmed by choice nowadays, I don't think children need too many choices at their disposal. And if I'm wrong about that, well too bad, MY kid will do what I say when I say it and that won't end until the year 2020 when she's 18 and out the door! Fortunately S is right there with me, although he is too much of a softy and lets his guard down sometimes. Example: if we're in the car and the radio is playing and the baby says she doesn't like that song, S will switch stations until she says she likes it. Not me! She pulled that shit with me last week and my response was, "Oh yeah? Well when you grow up you can get a job and buy your own car and listen to whatever music you want. But this is MY car." And I didn't say it mean, just matter-of-fact.

So we will be going back to the Discovery Green every Saturday this month. It's a great deal! S agreed that I am the best mom in the whole world for finding the most fun, free things to do! Our calendar is booked for the month, that's for sure. They also do yoga in the park there and Zumba and other fun stuff. Last week we went to the Health Museum for the first time on Free Family Thursday and had a stellar time there as well! S and I took the interactive life expectancy test. He should live to be 71 and I should live to be 92! That sounds about right. I can up that age if I eat breakfast more often and exercise more, though. (They probably mean really exercise, not the walking-on-the-treadmill-while-reading thing I so enjoy!!! [Hey man, at least I'm out there!])

!Suelta El Arma! !Manos Arriba!

I am learning all kinds of fun Spanish for cops. Well, to be honest, 90% of what we are learning I already knew. Lord knows I have gotten beaucoup Spanish practice the past couple of years working at my ex-Job #2 and terrorizing the Mexicans/Central & South Americans at the flea markets. Fortunately, our instructor has been a cop for 27 years and is 52 years old and he likes to let us finish up at around 3 or 3:30. So I am getting to Job #2 early which means I can leave early.

We got the baby last night, although it took 2 separate trips to do so--I don't even want to get into it. And when S finally picked her up we found that she has impetigo, a skin disease that affects, and I quote from the ADAM medical encyclopedia off MedlinePlus, "children in unhealthy living conditions." Big fucking surprise that she would pick this up living at the whore's filthy house. I just pray the baby does not get exposed to the whore's genital herpes or God knows what crabs or the clap or what else she and dickhead have going on over there. I am NOT kidding.

I am tired b/c I have to get up at 6 in order to be at the academy by 8. But it's been nice to have a few days off from Job #1 and a week off from teaching skin care classes and I'm very much looking forward to this weekend although I still don't know what we're doing for the 4th. Well, I know I'm sleeping late, but beyond that...