Blogging and Life Right Now

So I'm going through a major transition of having to TOTALLY CHANGE MY LIFE and so I may not be blogging here as much b/c I'm going to have to buy a paper journal for the 12-step program I am currently in. I've been to 4 meetings in a week and a day and I've got 2 more this week. Won't be able to attend any meetings next weekend as I'll be in Chappell Hill gigging Fri-Sat, then have to work all day next Sun on a security job but I've got a sponsor for my 12-steps and I have to attend 6 meetings right now so I'm doing that, even sacrificing hours at Job #2 to do so. But my life is at stake here (not life-and-death dramatically so, just my life in terms of my peace/happiness/well-being) so I gotta do it.

Still on the roller coaster. Crappy weekend. Tough day today, even breaking out into hives all over and freaking out, but I called a bunch of women from the program and one helped me do a breathing exercise over the phone that brought me back to sanity and made the hives disappear in only an hour as opposed to 3 hrs. Spending time at home reading the literature (pamphlets, books) and spending time with Scotty Star is helping. Meeting this afternoon followed by coffee w/3 of the women and that was really really awesome. I just want to be left alone by men right now most of all. I hid you-know-who from my Facebook feed. I keep thinking of the list I made of things I will not miss about him or was annoyed by and more have popped up. He didn't like it when I wore hats--and I love to wear hats. He called me "dork" sometimes and I told him he didn't need to be calling me mean names. He was very much a music snob and was kind of mean the way he spoke of fellow musicians sometimes. (So what if he was right most of the time? Didn't need to be so mean and critical.)

Busy as ass week ahead: Monday night meeting. Tuesday night rehearsal. Wednesday night me and Enor and Phillipo returning to Club Remix. Thurs. night meeting and Enor coming over so I can give her a gate clicker and brief her on feeding Scotty Star when I'm away on Fri. In between, lots and lots of reading, serenity praying, and trying to take care of myself.