Ugh.

So here I am, going through the roller coaster of emotions that follow a heartbreaking breakup. Look at that, I don't even want to use the word "gwine", that's how fowl a mood I'm in TODAY. I mean, yesterday was groovy. I agreed to play a gig w/Leo next weekend in Chappell Hill Tx, a Fri-Sat night gig where they'll put us up at a ranch, feed us, and pay us. Right now I'm glad to be playing, which is why I'm doing it, and I also think some time away (even if Chappell Hill is only an hour away) will do me some good.

And last night Phillipo, Enor and I went back to Club Remix and had drinks and popcorn and enjoyed another great time and killer music and Phillipo and I got up and did 3 songs again and it was just fun. And my kitten, Scotty Star, is just the most precious and loving and adorable cat... ever. She is so fun to have around and it's great to sleep w/her and the only down side is I HATE leaving her when I have to leave the house b/c she meows so much and it's just so hard b/c I so love our time at home alone and I know she loves me sooooo much. But I have to go to work b/c she is getting the best of everything: Science Diet kitty food (hard and a little soft thrown in from time to time), the best healthy treats, toys galore, and she has her 1st vet visit next Monday for her well-kitten checkup.

But today I just feel blahhhhhh... I did however spend a lot of time chatting w/my dear keyboard friend SCC and he also loves me too. (He's the one writing the musical about me.) He admitted he'd love to come be w/me and have a family w/me and I said that was sweet of him to offer, chuckle! And he wants me to come visit him in Annapolis soooo bad, and now he wants me to come play a (non-paying) gig w/him in Sept. in Milwaukee. It's sweet to hear and know, but that's all I feel about it. He's great but that's as far as my feelings go. And right now the idea of men is just EXHAUSTING me. I really do want to be single for awhile, I really do. I'm reading all these books by Drs. Cloud and Townsend and they are really, really helping me. They're inspiring me to feel stronger and ready to tackle myself as an improvement project. I want to focus on myself and my friends. I'm going to another LSAA meeting tonite and I'll return to the one on Saturday morning too. Got a therapy session tomorrow. I'm trying to keep my food down when the roller coaster swings me around the bad parts... but that's so hard. And ONLY TIME will do the trick which is the hardest part.