It's still hard to eat. I just have no interest. I am not sure why this happens whenever I go through breakups. L. asked me what I thought was behind it: loss of general joie de vivre, or not feeling worthy of the happiness that eating brings, or... who knows. But my skinny pants are fitting much better these days! Another benefit of this latest breakup is that I cannot believe how good my skin looks!!! I am serious. These past few years dealing with S and his daughter and all the trauma and drama and hassle involved and ensuing financial misery really wreaked havoc on my skin and I had frequent breakout after breakout when I never really did before. But now I have noticed that in these past couple of weeks I am no longer having that problem--at all. The mental and physiological evidence continues to mount: I am so much better off without him!!!!!!
I have pretty much decided on an atty., finally. He gave me a pretty good price (he's an old musician friend-turned attorney). So I guess that's it. We will now proceed officially and I can't fucking wait! I am having trouble selling more crap on craigslist so I am just gonna empty out the savings accounts to pay current bills and my legal fees. I will build the accounts back up--easily!--when I am finally done with S for good!
At the meeting on Monday night the patrol Major pulled me out of my section meeting to talk to me about the situation. (Not sure how he found out although I bet S went whining and crying to his Lt., who happens to be married to the Major.) He just advised me to be careful to keep any ugliness out of the Reserves organization and also offered that he was available by phone if I needed to talk. I thought that was a very nice thing to offer. After the meeting I said jokingly to Mudflap that now he needed to choose who he would go to dinner with after the meeting, me or S. And of course, WE went out along with our other deputy friends! I even ate 1/2 my enchiladas.
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