My New Most-Used Website

is this one. I also went to the library last night and got a couple books on the subject, including a Book on CD. Self-help books, aarrrggghhh! Obviously I'm desperate. My therapist's sister went to hospice a couple of weeks ago and they rescheduled my appt. twice already and so I said I'd just call them back to reschedule. I don't feel comfortable coming in and bitching about my situation if her sister is dying/has just died. Dammit.

I sold a bunch of DVD's at 1/2 Price yesterday and got a measly $20, but then I turned right around and bought some new sheets from a chick from craigslist for that amount. I was tired of seeing S's child's Disney princess sheets on my futon in my house and Bean will be staying with me in November so last night I put them away and got the futon set up as a futon again, which it hasn't been in almost 4 years. Now I just need to get the rest of that room in order, i.e., shove all the toys into a closet, clean, vacuum. Baby steps.

I think I almost got together all the doc's my lawyer needs for my case. Jesus, I cannot wait to get the papers filed--I wanted S out of my life FOREVER a month ago!!! In the steps of grieving--denial, anger, box wine, bargaining, depression, and acceptance--I am stuck right at anger and box wine!!! I guess with a little depression thrown in. Denial didn't really happen since I threw his worthless ass out. Acceptance is pretty much done as well. While sometimes I'm tempted to pop a Valium or borrow a Xanax, I just can't bring myself to rely on pharmaceuticals, just on general principle since it's my opinion that everyone is already over-medicated these days! Plus, with the box wine being my constant companion that would be too crazy and too stupid.

But there's a lot of fun activities coming up! Cool concerts coming to town soon, trying to find the cheapest ticket to ACL Fest and Levon that I possibly can, and of course the trips with friends on the horizon. This weekend should also keep me plenty distracted: SFST (Standard Field Sobriety Training) at the academy Thursday night, Friday night, all day Sat. and Sun. Mudflap and my ex-Sgt. friend will both be in attendance so that'll be good comaraderie.