A Time to Relax

So yesterday was the 4th of July and I celebrated by staying in the whole entire day and loving every damn minute of it!!! I had the day off Friday too and all I did on that day was finish putting up the window film in our bedroom (with the baby's help--she was in charge of spraying the application spray), go grocery shopping, do laundry, and later spent some time in our Bahamian-warm swimming pool with S, Auntie R. and Uncle T. Bliss.

I just could not excited about trying to do anything yesterday. On Friday night S and I got a wild hair when telling the baby about SeaWorld (we allowed her to watch the entire Jaws series and SeaWorld is the setting for Jaws 3: 3D!) and thought we might just have to take an overnight trip to SeaWorld in San Antonio. But when I got online and saw the ticket prices and nearly had a heart attack ($50 BIG BUCKS EACH!!!) we put the kibosh on that crazy idea! We'll go next year when we're out of debt and wealthy!

So yesterday the baby, who is with us for the entire month of July, and I relaxed around the house all day long while S was at work and it was so wonderful to not have to be anywhere at any time. Later Ma and F. came over and relaxed with us. And I had gotten the big talk over with my dad earlier that day; surprisingly he took it quite well with no yelling, cussing, or any other drama. He just calmly told me that I was wrong if I felt he was naysaying me or didn't believe in me and I just calmly replied that I had to do what was best for me in order for me to be able to work on and complete this film project. But after we hung up instead of feeling free and relieved I just felt sad b/c I'm going to miss him calling me up and excitedly telling me I needed to see this film or that film or read this book or that book, and I'm going to miss his emails suggesting this website or that website. It breaks my heart that he always has to FUCK THINGS UP for himself and the people that care about him and I just don't understand why he can't be strong enough to overcome whatever it is that he has in his past that won't allow him to be a happy, content, successful functioning person in society--not that that's the be-all/end-all to the American Dream or anything, but I mean, no matter how you look at it it can't be good for you or your psyche or your well-being no matter how you define it, to be constantly on the scrounge for a place to sleep or a paycheck or a hot meal or a cold beer, which is how he's spent most of his life!!! It just sucks to have to see, is all I'm saying. But whatever, que sera` sera`!

I went to an interesting workshop last Tuesday night that SWAMP put on with a guy from DiscMakers presenting. We all got to stand up before and say who we are and what project we're working on. It really is exciting to be a filmmaker in Houston--there's so many projects going on at all times! I still always feel a little out of place at these things though, but there's so many other events coming up that I really want to go to! Unfortunately if I run into my dad at any of these things I will feel sad and uneasy, and as far as the next documentary idea that we had been discussing, well I guess that's not going to happen either. Such a damn shame.