On the road again

I am officially tired of being on the road again. Today was all day in Montgomery County. The real bummer was that although I had another $15 per diem for lunch, since I was out in the sticks there was no cool place to have lunch. I had to settle for Arby's, and spent all of $8+! Even with an apple turnover for dessert! Lame.

Speaking of dessert... last night we enjoyed a wonderful DH birthday dinner with R. and her main man at the Chili's near our house. But since DH isn't big on cake or desserts the rest of us had to share their legendary Death By Chocolate thing.

So now I'm at Job #2. I think I've driven 3,000 miles in 1 month b/c my oil change sticker says not to come back until June but I'm already over the limit. Fortunately, DH says he thinks he can get off work early tomorrow to go pick up the baby and give me a break from doing it. I am so tired of making that long ass drive and paying $2.50 for the tollroad. I'm just tired, period, and NOT in that good way.

Plus I've got some anger management issues to deal with. First thing tomorrow morning I'm going to our EAP (Employee Assistance Program) to get an assessment done and see if I need to take Anger Management. I neglected to mention this in a previous post but I almost got into a fight at the George Clinton concert. Like I described, I was standing in the front row next to one of my friends. This friendly guy was standing on my other side and we were just casually chatting. Well, when George Clinton comes on, this girl holding a beer bottle and a digital camera, from out of nowhere, literally crams herself between me and friendly guy, pushing into both of us and literally pushing me to the side!!! I was so startled and pissed by her bad manners, I pushed right back into her and said something nasty that I can't remember, probably something like "You can't just get in here!" or something like that. I was really pissed. She looked at me and said, shocked, "Are you serious?" I snapped back that she could've at least said "Excuse me." Then I looked away. I saw that she was still staring at me, so I looked back at her and gave her a real bitchy look right in her grill! A look that said, "Do something, bitch!"

I heard the friendly guy tell her she could sit in his lap if she wanted. So then I felt bad. I felt bad that once again a knucklehead had invaded my peace and acted a fool and I was forced to react. Here we were, trying to enjoy a George Clinton concert and someone has to force me to bring the good vibe down. Still, it was extremely rude the way she just shoved right into me. And I'll acknowledge that being a cop now makes me even more sensitive to people getting into my personal space. They told us at the academy that once we became cops we would find ourselves avoiding crowded places like bars and nightclubs for that very reason. At the time I seriously doubted that would happen to me, but I guess that's exactly what did happen when she shoved me to the side. I just had an instinctive, self-protective reaction. But unfortunately, I always react at a Level 10. Even if someone just offends me at Level 1, or 3, or 5, they always get Adela Level 10 back no matter what. And so I'm beginning to wonder if I need to seek help for this.

Anyway, so during George's 1st song I just stood there feeling bad. Around the middle of the 1st song the girl leaned over to me and finally apologized, saying she didn't mean to offend me by trying to squeeze in there. I put my arm around her and rubbed her shoulder telling her it was ok, that I just don't like people shoving into me. Then she took a pic of us with her camera and I smiled big and put my arm around her. I rubbed her back again just to show no hard feelings and we went on and enjoyed the concert.

I actually have a book on anger management and I pulled it out the other day to take the little quiz inside. It said I do have a "moderate" TAS (Toxic Anger Syndrome), not extremely high but definitely above average. All I know is it takes a lot out of a person when they get really pissed off the way I do sometimes. It can't be good for my heart.