How does it feel to know you're going to hell?

That's the question I'd like to ask S's family. Especially his worthless piece-of-shit sister who is now refusing to come and testify for us in court on June 14 b/c she's "tired of dealing with all this." The worthless piece-of-shit, selfish, disrespectful sister who can't be bothered to help S or the baby. I'd love to look her in the face and ask, "How DOES it feel to know you're going to hell?" The problem, S says, is she doesn't think or know she's going to hell. So now S is going to have to see if his worthless so-called mother will come to court to testify instead. See, he needs witnesses that have been there with him and the baby since Day 1. I and our other witnesses have only been on the scene since 2005, when the baby was 3. He needs historical witnesses, i.e., his asshole family members who can't be bothered to help their own flesh and blood although S has ALWAYS been there for him. He says his mom might be able to come, although he says she is going to guilt-trip his ass off. [It's funny--guilt trips have never worked on me. I was born with an innate immunity to them. I don't understand it when other people complain about guilt trips. I can't comprehend the feelings they're talking about.] I said I didn't give a shit what she does as long as she's there and manages to tell the truth. I did say that I don't want to hear Word 1 about any kind of extortion deal--you know, like "I'll only come testify if you let me see the baby." She will NEVER see the baby again as long as I am alive and kicking on this earth and S knows it (and has agreed to it). He says he doubts she will try to make such a deal b/c she actually does know better than to fuck with me--and it's true that she never has tried to make a deal since I cut her out of our lives right after I married S. But even if she does try, I have to say I will take great pleasure in lying to her just like I enjoy lying to so many other similar turds out on the street as a deputy sheriff. I'll say, "Sure you can see her! No problem!" and then it will NEVER happen. Ha ha!

This sort of thing is truly amazing to me. My friends, my good family members (yes, I've got shitty ones too, but I've disowned all of them), all they say to me when I ask them to help me out is, "When, Adela? Where? I'm there." And that is IT. Even S's friends force him to do something for him in return. Well, except for Mano. But when S's friend S. went with him to go drop off the baby a few weeks ago, S. forced S to go to church with him in return. All S's friends--except Mano--and his worthless family members are all about quid pro quo. I would never be friends with someone like that. NEVER. And I'm not!

S had a good talk with our atty. today. I'm glad he got some things off his chest b/c I am tired of carrying all the burden of yesterday. We are NOT going to depo that lying old bag after all. We are not paying $1000+ to hear nothing but a pack of LIES. S told atty. that he has nothing to fear from her since none of us know who the fuck she is and she is a crazy, lying old loon. Atty. told S that yesterday the old bag got in her face and yelled at our atty. "Liar! Liar!" over and over again, once again showing she is as crazy as the whore. This was even in front of the amicus atty.!!! Good! Keep showing all the important people your insane side, old lady!

Our atty. also gave us this appalling, galling request that was made by the whore yesterday: although it is our visitation weekend this weekend again, b/c we are moving from 2nd and 4th weekends to 1st, 3rd, and 5th starting this month, she actually had the nerve, the gall, to ask if we would split this Saturday with her b/c she allegedly wants to throw a birthday party for the baby. If I had been drinking something when I was told this, I would've done a Danny Thomas spit take. I am serious. Of course S told our atty. to tell the whore to go to hell (I'm sure our atty. will phrase it in nicer language--that's what we pay her for). Our atty. said be prepared for the whore's atty. to use this against S, to show that he is an uncooperative parent. I responded, I dare him to do that--b/c then we will be able to retort that the whore has refused to let S share the baby's last ***2*** birthdays!!!!!! She wouldn't even let S talk on the phone to the baby!!! Bring it up, old man, I dare you! PLEASE!!! Plus I told our atty. that it was the whore's idiot atty. who wanted us to start having 1st, 3rd, and 5th weekends. I said, maybe he should've thought of that before this weekend? Idiot. Cretin. Potted plant.

So last night I had to take the good drugs. Strawberrry sundae from McD's and a valium when I got home. It worked. Before that though we went to Target and got the baby a few b-day presents (her real b-day is actually today, and although the court said we could see her from 6:30-8pm there's no way we can do that b/c we both have to work). We also met Mudflap for dinner at Cafe Express--he always calms me down. So I got the baby her own tiny electric piano! $9.99! Tonight I'm going to wrap her gifts so they're ready for tomorrow, plus some books I got her from 1/2 Price. I still have to get her a wallet since we are starting an allowance for her now that she's 5 (see Latina Personal Finance Blog for more details).