L. just gave me the biggest laugh of the week. She called me from Seattle, where she has escaped to for a couple of weeks. Although she got a one-way ticket, she will be back next week already. She misses her kids too much!
Anyway, 2 years ago someone gave me a gag gift of black, metal toy handcuffs for my birthday. I threw them in my trunk and forgot all about them. Recently, I found out that the baby likes to play with my real handcuffs, so I thought I'd drag out these toy ones and give them to her. They were laying around the house one day that S decided to tidy up. I was going on patrol a couple of weeks ago and I found that he'd put the handcuffs in my patrol bag, which is a bad place for them to be! God forbid I grab them, thinking they are real, and actually try to use them on a suspect! So I yanked them out of my patrol bag, thankfully noticing them before I actually went on patrol, and hung them around the hand brake in my car.
So L. and I go out a couple of weeks ago to eat, drink, and raise a little heck. She saw those stupid handcuffs in my car. So she, as a slightly drunken joke, cuffed them onto her purse. Or, I should say, her mother's $500 designer purse! And I have no idea where the little toy key for them is. Today L. told me that because of those handcuffs, she couldn't take the purse with her to Seattle and had to settle for taking a dumb little Dooney and Burke. Also, her mother is demanding that somehow we figure out a way to get the cuffs off. I told L. to tell her mom that I would take the purse out into her driveway and shoot the cuffs off.
Saw my "female" doctor today. I told her that in about a month I am going off the Pill, so she took blood so they could test my thyroid and she also gave me a bunch of prenatal vitamins that look like horse pills. I don't know how I'm going to swallow them. She taught me how to check for when I'm ovulating. This is going to be kind of fun, like a science experiment! And S and I will see what happens. I'm 34 though so I need to at least get started seeing what happens. Hopefully the custody battle will be close to ending soon, so I can concentrate on US.
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3 comments:
Yay, I am so looking forward to being an aunt again. And remember, you promised to let me be there when you give birth!
And after it's over I'll even send you home with some of my homemade placenta shampoo!
That is so foul. Besides, won't you be eating your placenta? Very nutrious, you know!
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