What I've Learned

I love Esquire magazine. It's not fair to call it a Gentleman's magazine, as I have read it cover-to-cover for years. I was reading the latest issue, and the "What I've Learned" columns, and began to think of my own "What I've Learned"'s. It was a fun activity to do this a.m. as I went through the motions of getting ready for the day. So I thought I'd write some of them down. I guess it's also a good end-of-year activity.

What I've Learned
by Adela

Someone might love you, and they might actually even say that they love you. But unless they show it, their so-called love doesn't mean shit.

Shooting is so much fun!

99.999% of the time, people don't change.

Don't escrow your taxes. Do you realize that your money could be sitting in your own account earning interest, instead of lying dead at the mortgage company?

If it doesn't make sense, it isn't true. (With special thanks to Judge Judy for this one.)

When I was in my mid-20's, I went through a period of depression. The music of Taj Mahal and the books of Dave Barry were the things that kept me from going over the edge. I've since met them both but didn't tell them this. Maybe I should have.

It's allright to cry! Crying gets the sad out of you!

There are very effective ways to tell when someone is lying to you. No, I won't reveal them here, you can research them yourself if you're so inclined.

When I was in elementary school, I discovered the biographies section of the school library. Since then I've always had a love affair with non-fiction. I firmly believe the real world is much more fascinating than anything anyone can make up, and I believe part of my success in life has been learning from others' mistakes instead of making my own.

Always, always, always spend good money on the following: your shoes, bag, hat.

While in New York, eat a pretzel at Central Park, and have bagels and hot chocolate for breakfast from any corner deli.

Damn, that R. Kelly can sing!

I'm sorry I cuss so much, but I can't help it. I hang out with cops. Plus, I like to cuss.

My mom's father, my grandfather, had 2 kids with my grandmother, then adopted 2 more. He walked 4 miles round-trip to work and never missed a day. I have heard people describe him as one of the most intelligent men they've ever met. Now he is 90 and has saved enough money in his life to not have to worry about it. He has influenced me more than just about anyone.

When you're young, make a list of things you want to do and places you want to go. Then start doing them.

I will always be proud of the way I got married and not spending thousands and thousands of dollars on a wedding. The wedding industry in America is like gambling in Vegas: the house always wins.

It's never as disgusting or annoying when it's your own kid doing it.

I was in a beauty pageant when I was 22. I just knew I would win--but instead I got 4th runner-up, and a big trophy. I'm not sure why I wanted to do this, except for the pure experience of it. I'm glad I got it out of my system.

Do the right thing, and do it just for sake of doing the right thing.

I've always gotten along much better with men than I have with women.

Those childless people who talk trash about children, and how annoying children are, and how annoying their friends who have children are, are usually the same people who tell endless stories about their pets.

Let your husband pop your zit. It will feel and look so much better in a few hours!

You don't have to like the same music that I like, but dammit, have some fucking respect and don't make fun of it. Some people take their music very seriously.

It really is true. If you can conceive it and believe it, you can achieve it.

Practice is magic.