My Dream Vacation

A week on a pretty beach (not ugly Galveston), a bathing suit, a cold thermos of coconut rum and coke, and about 25 books. That would cut my "To Read" list on Goodreads.com in half!

But alas, this dream vacation is not to be for awhile. I am in fact taking 2 Whole Days off next week, Thursday-Friday, in honor of my birthday which is awesome but as usual, I am already heavily scheduled during them with Job #2, patrol, and documentary trailer preparation. Dammit, how do these things happen?!? I wish I had 2-3 days to just sit around my house and lounge and read and watch documentaries and drink coconut rum with Coke and smoke a vanilla cigar and NOT HAVE TO BE ANYWHERE. I know, the power to make that happen is totally within my realm but I just can't seem to make it happen. Perhaps I will shoot for June to be the month where this might be a reality.

Yesterday was crazy. There's a scene in the Jim Jarmusch movie Night On Earth where Gena Rowlands plays this Hollywood executive being driven around in a cab by Winona Ryder and Gena Rowlands' cell phone is constantly ringing off the hook b/c she's obviously a very important and busy executive. At the end of the scene she has had a revelation after getting to know Winona Ryder's very laid-back, easy-going character and she is now so fed up with the cell phone she just throws it in her briefcase and tells it to shut up, which is totally nuts for her to be doing.

My cell phone was doing that yesterday, constantly ringing the whole day from morning to late last night and there were so many voicemails being left I was actually starting to feel extremely popular and loved!!! But I was so freakin' scheduled I couldn't even get a chance to talk to the 62 people that were trying to get a hold of me. First I had Job #1 all day, though I left early at 4 so I could work at Job #2 from 4:30-6:30. Then I went to see the documentary "La Onda Chicana" (premiering this fall on PBS!) at 7 in the East End, with Q&A following. Then I had to be at home at 9:30 so J. could bring by this chest of drawers that I was going to put in the dining room and Mudflap met me at home so he could help us unload it. Then S is all like, you gonna watch the last episode of 24 so I can take back this DVD and I was like, sure! And naturally I fell asleep during it.

Tomorrow: working from home, thank God. Picking up the baby in the middle of the workday, though.

Girl, I Don't Need to Be Blogging This!

Meaning I have so much freakin' work I don't even know where to start. It's the end of the month so I am trying to spend a bunch of $ for one of my 2 grants at Job #1 so I have a good first quarterly report which is due on 5/15. I have a search on some kind of Ischemic Heart disease to do. There's probably another search I need to be working on as well. My website needs my attention as always. I was in Lufkin TX all day yesterday and I have that report to write, receipts to add up, and general unpacking to do. I'm drowing in emails from being gone a whole day. CRAPOLA. I want lunch, too!

Weekend Bliss and Here We Go Again

Wotta weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today my right knee has a red knot on it. This is from constantly banging into the stage barrier last night while dancing nonstop at I-Fest. This is b/c the stage had on it the following: Los Lobos. Also at times the legendary Flaco Jimenez and the great Joel Guzman. And the banging occurred b/c you can all guess where exactly I was standing in proximity to the stage. FRONT AND CENTER! Onstage before the Lobos was Rachid Taha, a total maniac if I ever saw one but lots of fun. Li'l bro jumped onstage to sing "Rock the Casbah" with him and emerged after the performance with numerous scratches down his bare chest, courtesy of Taha. ("Who is this guy, G.G. Allin?!" I, a little disturbed, asked my bro.) Several of my hip music-loving festival friends were also at that stage so I hadda check it out! Score of fun had yesterday: a perfect 10, sore feet and bruised knees be damned!

There was only one sad part though: watching Flaco Jimenez made me emotional and I teared up a little b/c I started thinking of my late, beloved maternal grandmother Julia and how she loved Flaco.

Saturday was not too bad either, although it was more mellow b/c I went to I-Fest by myself, though ran into friends as always. I left early though due to it being S's birthday. We did not go to the movies after all but instead rented a video he wanted to see and chilled out home, both of us falling asleep way too early and before the movie actually ended. (One of my horrified festival friends said: "Hugh Masekala vs. Blockbuster?!?!" I had to remind her these are the sacrifices you make when you are married. She's divorced!)

So here we go again with another hell week. Monthly sheriff's meeting tonight, and S's first official one, yay! I should be picking up another Perfect Attendance pin, which will be delightful. Tomorrow I will be in Lufkin, TX all day. I pick up the rental car at 8, then pick up my coworker, and after a 2-hr drive we will exhibit there from 12-6. I will drive home like a bat out of hell b/c S has free passes to this certain movie theater that expire on Thursday so we will see a late show, perhaps 9-ish, of something. Weds. night I have a documentary viewing event, "La Onda Chicana" that my father is promoting. Thurs. night may or may not be the CPS visit, which has been cancelled twice by THEM. In fact, maybe we'll go see the free movie that night instead of dealing with this CPS bullshit. Obviously it can wait! Friday begins another weekend with the baby and I already cannot wait to sleep late on Saturday!!! This is b/c Sunday Mudflap and I will be at the sheriff academy all day for a required training class so I will be robbed of one of my weekend sleep-in mornings, which I cherish.

The latest news on the documentary is that today I received the legal document from the Sheriff saying basically that I am going to agree to sign away all my rights to what the final product will be. It says that the Sheriff has final say and approval over the final film and that if requested I must remove any footage. It says other stuff too, like if I am filming something and if anyone asks me to cease filming I will do so. I am trying not to be concerned about any of this. That is b/c I cannot imagine what would be so controversial and/or sensitive that even I would want to include it in the film. #1, I personally have zero interest in portraying any of our "secrets", such as policy or training or anything like that. I don't even discuss those things in detail on this blog b/c I don't want any privileged information getting out into the wrong hands. #2, I seriously doubt anyone would ask me to stop filming something before I myself decided to stop filming for the reasons in #1.

Still, I am gonna hold onto this form before I sign it and just think about it for a few days. Bottom line is, if I don't sign then I don't get to make the movie. I would like to try and find out what other documentary filmmakers do in this situation.

Today Has Been Pretty Fun

Since I needed to keep 2 Whole Weekends completely free this month for my beloved I-Fest, I took today off from Job #1 so I could go do my 2nd patrol shift for the month. While intending to patrol with a Day Shift Deputy (6a-2p) from, like 8a-1p, I just could NOT wake up at 6 motherfuckin' 30 and instead was out from 9a-2p. We went on a grand total of 3 whole calls, but one of those was a Burglary of a Hab which means a report, also with blood DNA evidence (the turd[s] cut themselves carrying the fridge and stove out and left blood drips all over inside and out), so that takes a little while--30ish minutes to write the report at the station and submit the evidence. I wrote the report all by myself, which I have been doing a lot of lately. I am getting this report shit down! Yay!

Then I met S at the Sheriff uniform supply shop where he was picking up his uniforms, cowboy hats, jackets, etc. I needed to get a new felt cowboy hat since a bug ate holes in my old one, plus a green traffic vest for in case I ever have to direct traffic which is always a possibility. Now I'm at Job #2 and tonight me, little brother, and pater familias have plans to see Vince Bell whom we love the crap out of! I tell you what, no matter what differences I have with certain family members, music always bridges the gaps between us to harmony and happiness.

Tomorrow is S's 32nd birthday and he has to go to work and I have to go to I-Fest. However tomorrow night I will take him out to one of those movie theaters where you can buy dinner and drinks and we will see Fighting, which is right up S's alley.

Feeling Better About Things

And really what I have to attribute that (besides the loving words and encouragement of family and friends) is last night I finally reworked my script so that there is now NO narration whatsoever. I will therefore have to tease a lot of background info and details about the Reserves out of my interviewees, but I will make it work. After all, people love to talk. I was able to work on my script last night b/c S was off with one of his little cadet/police buddies and therefore I was free to work at home on the computer without his constantly following me around the house, waving the latest DVD of 24 at me, badgering me to watch it with him. When he sees I am engrossed in my latest obsession--be it a book (or several) or my documentary--he always pulls the never-fail trick to get me to stop doing it and hang out with him and watch the DVD/TV show/wrestling match du jour: "Don't you want to come over here and get cuddles?"

Today he is going to finally go to the Reserves office, get sworn in, and pick up his badge and credentials. Shortly thereafter he is going to the Central Police Supply to purchase his handcuffs, deluxe handcuff keys, and God knows what else. I told him it's only fair that whatever money he spends on his equipment and gear I get matching funds to spend that amount on my documentary. This is b/c I have made the executive decision that I will not be able to work with my father on my project, after all. This means no free camera, no free mikes, no free lighting, no free editing. I will still be using him for the trailer shoot in May b/c I NEED to get my video sample as part of the TFPF grant due June 1. But I am going to try and cough up the funds to get my brother's computer up and running and Quick Pro Tools editing software installed. If I gotta work maximum hours at Job #2, so be it. That way he and I can do all the editing together in the peace and serenity of his apartment, as opposed to the loud, frantic, tense, manic, angry environment that would be guaranteed if my father were involved. I feel a panic attack coming on just imagining it!

Speaking of the parental figure in question, today is his 60th birthday and we are all apparently going to partake in Thai food tonight in his honor. We did this last year, where I convinced him to enjoy his first Sake Bomb. I needed one as well, b/c I was seated next to him. I have fired up the ol' camcorder (the first time since the San Antonio trip) in order to document tonight's dinner for the record. Why the hell not.

Reading all these books about filmmakers and directors is proving to be very inspiring and fun! Last night I also finished watching Errol Morris' Gates of Heaven. It took me 2 nights b/c S put the kibosh on the first night of viewing due to his 24 watching streak. I thought Gates was way slow and meandering at times. But it's Errol Morris, so all I can do is learn from him. Morris' work is full of artistic elements, that is fo' sho!

BTW, Mavis Staples, who I saw on Sunday at I-Fest, promised that she'd give us a show good enough to put us in a good mood for 6 months. I have to hand it to her, when I've needed a lift this week all I had to do was remember her show and how joyful and fun it was and it's really helped! I watched from front row, natch, with my radio DJ friend Ricky H. to one side (he also got to introduce her to the crowd), my festival friend B. to the other side (she and I are friends b/c we're always at the same concerts/music fests), and little bro and his girlfriend dancing behind me. Plus a couple of my old hippie friends to the side and my other festival/concert friend Johnny somewhere behind them and I couldn't have asked for a happier musical experience! (Well, if only J2 had been there it would've been 100% complete!!!) Music therapy: never pass up an opportunity!

Doc Talk

I have decided to stop asking people for advice about my documentary. This is my first film and as long as I can remain ignorant about the risks and downfalls, I will succeed! After all, that's one of the main ingredients of success. How often have you heard a great success story say, "I didn't know it couldn't be done, so I did it!"

Il pater familias has already made several digs at me and my project. First, he called my film a "reality show." Then this past weekend he said that "nobody is interested in watching an hour-long film about the HCSO Reserves!" He also put down my script for having too much narration (which I totally agree with) even though his documentary "El BeBop Kid" is FILLED with his narration. Fortunately for me, last week when I was sick on the couch I read Tatum O'Neal's autobio Paper Life and her horrid, depressing accounts of being abused mentally and physically her whole life by her father Ryan O'Neal. So I feel like, even though I don't have it nearly as bad as she did, I am totally capable of considering the source that is my father and his putdowns and know academically and emotionally his words truly don't mean shit. My self-esteem is way too healthy to be bothered by his little remarks.

Here's the bad flip side to my knowing better than to put any percentage into what he has to say: he may truly have some good, valuable, and decent insights and suggestions into the filmmaking process, seeing as how he's done it for, oh 40 years. But for him to start to discount me and my ideas even before we've shot a single scene, well, his credibilty with me is now greatly damaged. It's a sad situation, actually! My mom had an insight to his attitude, however, and that is that while on one hand he says he's proud of me for following in my genetic code and he tells me that he's very excited about my project and will help me however he can--and sometimes I almost believe him--on the other hand he's feeling like, who is this little upstart that has the nerve to try and think she can just come out of the woodwork and make a feature film documentary??? I really don't know, but that theory sounds like it could be plausible. That's actually what happened with Tatum and her dad! While he loved making Paper Moon with her, when she subsequently won the Oscar for her performance and he wasn't even nominated, of course that caused all kinds of problems in their relationship. And she was just 10 years old!!!

This is what our parents do to us: make us spend way too much time blogging about their impact on us and spend way too much of our time and money in therapy! I could be spending my valuable time re-working my script, blogging about my amazing weekend, or reading American Libraries. But now I'm too tired so will reconvene later.

Stops and Spurts

That's what this week has been like. Tonsofactivity!!!Rushingtoandfro!!!Get'erdone,ahhhhh...! And then Weds.-Thurs. was mostly slooooowwwweddd down due to my mystery virus/ailment... over way too soon for me, man. Then today!!! Git'erdone!Dr.Pneedsthissearchdoneby4:30pmsohurryyerassup!!! Getthattimesheetin!!!Shootoffthatreport,ahhhhhhhhhh!!! And I only worked at Job #1 10-5 today too. Sheesh. Now I do feel like Joe Gideon in All That Jazz, one of my most beloved movies of all time. Too bad it's not ok anymore in polite society to be on amphetamines.

I actually have a little project here at Job #2 that has been necessitated by some computer problems. Somehow all my bookmarks and toolbar links have been wiped off the face of the earth. So I am trying to remember what they were and this time I'm going to save them online at my delicious account. What a cool concept. I just wish delicious were prettier, it's functional but not fun to look at.

So S went to get the baby today and I am trying to decide if she and I will make IFest tomorrow or not. There's lots of bands I "kinda" want to see, but since I noticed a few days ago that all of a sudden I seem to be carrying a lot of tension in my neck--a new thing for me, I've never been one of those bad neck/back people!--that although it might be raining/storming tomorrow and it will be a lot of work to get downtown early and park and drag the baby around in her radio flyer wagon, I am trying to decide if it'll be worth it for the reward of music therapy all day long. The thing is, it's bands I've seen before and I'm kinda feeling like just relaxing and lounging around all day close to home, working on my documentary, taking it eaaasssssyyyyyy. What to do, what to do. Marcia Ball? or Much Relaxation? I won't know 'til tomorrow. I already got my el cheapo early bird tickets, though, so.......

Health note: I am still feeling a little too tired for my own good. I took Nyquil last night since the night before I woke up at 2am and couldn't sleep. I think my body's trying to send me a hint. I wish it would shaddup. Tonight I may just have to have a damn beer to see if it'll help with this new neck tension issue.

I wish I didn't have to patrol on Sunday, and I have to do it early too so I have the rest of the day to spend with S and the baby. Having to go on patrol makes me tired even thinking about it. One thing that was fun is yesterday me, S, and our loca chica friend K. snuck away together and finally caught a showing of Sin Nombre. Not a bad flick, even if it was about those MS-13 turds who I hate! Not sure why Laszlo ordered me to go see it though, I mean, it was all right but it didn't blow me away or anything. Maybe I was being influenced by my hatred of the MS-13 and/or still feeling sickly.

Sick!!! But...

Well enough at this point to drag myself to Job #2. After all, the checks are sweet. Last night shortly after I arrived home c. 8pm-ish, I developed chills and a low-grade fever, in addition to body aches. The kind of fever where you're amazed at how hot your skin is to the touch, but not so bad that I was feeling sick and miserable. No, I didn't take my temp b/c that would've necessitated digging around under the upstairs bathroom sink to find the thermomater. I figured I'd sleep it off. No such luck as this a.m. I awoke with a headache and worse body aches! Dammit, I really had a shitload to do at work today, too: a final report due for one of my grants; an interesting webcast this morning; a cool workshop this afternoon on Minority Health disparities; and of course my lunchtime sneak-away to see Sin Nombre. Instead I stayed on the couch all day, being pathetic. At least I was there to let the cable guy in.

I am on ibuprofin now and feel slightly better, so hopefully am on the upswing. Still, I might call in sick again tomorrow so I can recover from today. Also, my documentary needs me! I watched most of a cool one today since our cable On-Demand feature is now working better. The whole thing was shot handheld! Fascinating.

And Things Progress...

Doing good on my documentary "to-do" list. I have confirmed 3 interviews for Sunday, May 10. I have gotten approval to shoot at the academy that weekend (not that anyone was going to dare give me any hassle on that, what with the Sheriff and Chief having signed off on my project, but I did have to make an "official" request, simply for the sake of good manners!). I have given the heads up on all of this to il pater familias and little brother. And last night I played around with tripod.com and started my documentary website! Soon it will be ready to publish after I tighten up some things.

Also today I swung by the public library and found a couple books on filmmaking which look like they could be somewhat enlightening as well as entertaining to read. I tried to make a lunch appt. with B.B. but that is not going to happen this week. I gotta get going on my trailer script some more! Soon I will receive Gates of Heaven via Netflix in the mail, and I moved all the other documentaries on my queue all the way up so the next 8-9 things I get will be documentaries. I am now a student of film, the kamikaze way!

Tomorrow I'm going to sneak away at lunchtime and go see Sin Nombre as well so I can get that good matinee pricing. How's all this for knocking things off the to-do list(s)?!

So Little to Do...

So much time to do it in! Wait, scratch that... reverse it. (Yes, Willy Wonka was on tv yesterday! Some of my favorite lines ever are from that movie!)

On Saturday after working at Job #1 from 9-12 I rushed outta here, met my brother briefly, grabbed a Big Mac and took my ass to the free workshop from the TFPF on applying for filmmaking funds. It was a cool workshop. I was proud that I understood 90% of what they were talking about--I got confused when they mentioned film formats (HD vs. Beta vs. Hi8 vs. ???) but I got totally re-invigorated about my documentary project. Not that I got UN-invigorated, I've just been so distracted lately with Everything Else in the World going on.

After a busy rest of Saturday that consisted of grocery shopping and attending the going-away party, on Sunday I was ready to devote myself to my documentary again. Unfortunately, it being Easter I was inconvenienced in that a lot of the phone calls I wanted to make I had to shelve b/c I didn't think I should be pestering folks on this holiest of holy days. The end of Lent aside, I barely even noticed it was Easter, myself.

However, I had a great conversation with my pater familias. He proceeded to throw a lot of information at me while I scribbled notes furiously. I now have a rather audacious to-do list b/c I have decided that I have absolutely nothing to lose by applying for some TFPF funds! However, they require a video sample or trailer to be included in the application, which means I better get on the ball since it's due by June 1! So I must now:

1. Call 3 of my documentary talent subjects and book them for interviews on the weekend of May 8-9. This will be for my trailer project and my father, Laszlo, will procure a camera, light kit, mikes, all that stuff.
   
2. Purchase a 250 gig external hard drive on which I will store my footage.
   
3. Write a trailer script!!! I started this yesterday. Laszlo said that I pretty much have to write out the dialogue word for word and that it should be a 4 to 4-and-a-half minute trailer. So far what I've written is only 1 minute long, so I need to get crackin' on writing 3 more minutes. Trailers, of course, have to be fascinating and intriguing enough to leave you, the viewer, wanting MORE, MORE! So it's gotta be damn good.
   
4. Confirm my brother to be my production assistant for the trailer shoot weekend.
   
5. Finish writing my budget draft since the TFPF fund requires this information.
   

And incidentally, Laszlo also recommended that I:

1. Go see Sin Nombre immediately. Not that it's a doc or anything, just a great film.
   
2. Consider the artistic elements of my doc. To be honest, I hadn't considered this yet. I've pretty much been thinking that since my doc subject is so compelling that that's all I needed. But now he says I should think about doing some re-enactments like Errol Morris did in Thin Blue Line. I countered with the fact that there are beaucoup documentaries that have NO re-enactments but that still blow you away! Laszlo agreed but said that those doc's have perfect scripts. Still, I got the message that I need to start thinking in terms of artistic elements... and what could those elements be in my film??? Food for thought, that's for sure.

Other things that I want to do are:

1. I am still trying to meet up with my good friend, the professional cameraman/filmmaker B.B. so that he can offer me his valuable input. But since this week is fucking tax week and he is finishing his up, he may not be able to meet me for lunch tomorrow, as I'd suggested. Damn! I'm dying to talk to him about my script and I've been waiting like, a month.
2. Consider getting some sort of website or blog for my project. I saw some of the TFPF grant awardees have websites and it would be a fun way to chronicle the life of the project.
   

Anyway, I'm getting excited again about this project. Lots to do and I better get to 'em!

Damn, This Lent Stuff is Hard

I was going to be a good little Catholic (or in my case, ex-quasi-Catholic) yesterday and not eat meat but since so many people apparently took Good Friday OFF, there was no sushi at the hospital cafeteria and the salad bar was out of lettuce. So I had to buy a pre-made grilled chicken salad. And now this morning finds me at Job #1 for 3 hours so that I can do my coworker who'll be in late a favor and the quickest thing I could think of this morning to grab was a piece of that 3-lb. cinnamon roll that was easily microwaved and consumed on the drive in to work. I am hoping that does not count b/c even my most stringent fellow Lent-er, my other coworker, said she doesn't count "muffins" and stuff like that as a "sweet." She gives up sweets every year and she has a key lime pie waiting in the fridge for tomorrow. Not bad, but I'm still partial to my cupcakes!

I changed my mind, I don't think I'm going on patrol tomorrow. Sleeping late is one of the things I look forward to most on weekends and since I had to be up early this a.m. and after this stressful past week--more stressful than most, with like, 4-5 major stressors attacking my well-being--I just want to sleep in tomorrow, go to the movies with S, eat my cupcakes and a good meal, plus get a good walk/run in. I'll patrol next Sunday instead. Always, always, always watching out for my mental health!!!

No-Show, What Does That Say???

So the CPS investigator was a no-show last night. Oh, but I thought a child's well-being is at stake, I thought there is "abuse" going on, I thought S and I needed to be investigated!!! Yeah fucking right. ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS, EVERY TIME.

I took it upon myself to call the CPS lady back today and rescheduled her stupid ass visit for next week so we can get this fucking nonsense over with. Although I am aggravated by all this crap, I do feel for the CPS folks. They have extremely high turnover and it is not hard to see why. CPS should however, enact some kind of policy that prevents all the bullshit calls they receive from asshole parents trying to retaliate at other parents and use the children as pawns in their sick games. One call is understandable that they investigate, but our case especially is so blatant as to be laughable, if it wasn't so stupid. It is a total waste of valuable time and resources for them to have to come out and deal with us since the first report showed clearly that not only was there no evidence of anything, their findings were that the baby had been coached to regurgitate the whore's filthy lies. I especially like the quote in the report where the baby was asked a question about me and S and she replied to the investigator, "Mommy [the whore] didn't teach me that." HA! See what I mean? WHY are we going through this again???

Good Friday today and it's hard to be motivated to do much. A lot of the world has shut down and it's quiet around here at Job #1. I was going to patrol tomorrow but now too many things have popped up on my schedule. I am going to attend an afternoon workshop on applying for funds from the Texas Filmmaker's Production Fund. I am going to look at a dresser that a friend's friend is giving away. I am going to dye the gray out of my hair (again...sigh). And I have an evening going-away party for one of our fellow High-spanic Health Coalition Board members. I'll likely patrol early on Sunday, then have the rest of Easter to fart around with S. And at some point that day, I am going to eat some cupcakes!!!

I Am Not Scared of You

I fear no one but God, so bring it on!!! Like I give a shit what the assholes of this world dish out. Here is how to deal with motherfuckers: living your amazing, wonderful life and not letting the shitheads get you down. Good link here!

I have so many great friends who have rallied around and offered their emotional support in all my times of turmoil and hardship. Hopefully I've got less drama swirling around me than most people in the world but it does help to talk to friends b/c after I bitch and moan a little then I always feel much better and have the world in a much healthier perspective! If you are reading this then you are probably my friend, so thank you.

I was very good last night and did not have one bite of ice cream. I didn't even lick my fingers while serving it to S and I even got my favorite Blue Bell, Banana Pudding. He took a Vicodin and was very amusing. I wanted to film him but I was too damn tired. All we did last night was lounge together on the recliner and not move very much. I didn't even have to tidy the house too much for tonight's CPS investigator bullshit visit b/c the baby and I cleaned this past Saturday. She got to sweep the entire downstairs b/c she had 2 homework assignments that she did not do in school like she was supposed to. She hates to sweep but loves to mop....??? We didn't have time to mop b/c we headed out to Discovery Green park in time for the harmonica documentary festivities! Auntie R. and Uncle T. met us there along with doggies and it was a great Saturday night, indeed. BTW, I need to get back on my documentary. I already had a dream about it so there's my sign!

%#$@!!!!!!!!!!!

Shit. Things is bad. I'm trying to be philosophical about life though. I even pulled out the Bible last night and tried to read "Peter." Both of them. Right now I am just trying to be calm and keep it together. So far I'm succeeding. Soon I will leave Job #2 and buy ice cream since it's on sale and take it home to S since apparently he's at home and can't talk after undergoing wisdom-teeth extraction this afternoon. Anyway, here's all that's transpired in the past 24 hours:

1. Got a call from CPS last night to find out that another BULLSHIT abuse allegation against us has been filed. Although they can't by law tell us who called it in we all know who did it. We are not stupid!!! We meet with the investigator tomorrow night at our house and although I was SO INCREDIBLY PISSED AND WAS IN A MURDEROUS RAGE I have managed to calm down and after speaking to my friend and fellow deputy/ex-CPS-investigator who confirms that since the last report was found to be total bullshit that this investigation is nothing more than a bullshit formality and even CPS seems to think so, I am now just slightly pissed and annoyed that everyone has to be inconvenienced for this bullshit. What I can't understand is the motivation. The first report was filed b/c they knew they were losing their custody battle and were throwing every low blow they could possibly think of. But now that we've all settled out of court and things, while not friendly or civil, have at least been law-and-court order abiding, so what is their fucking deal??? Why go to such lengths to mess with us and incidentally, the baby??? The filthy whore is getting her child support, what does that bitch want now??? Well, we will get a copy of the report ASAP and even though the reportee's name will be marked out we will know who reported it again b/c dialogue and speech will reveal it--just like it was obvious on the first report that it was that nasty old bag and the whore! Fucking pieces of shit. S went to the baby's school today and found out the baby frequently does not have lunch money at school and since the baby also never got her vision dealt with all this time (since last fall!) he surmises that it's obvious the whore and dickhead--the pool boy--are probably financially strapped and they are pulling this shit on us now b/c misery loves company. I guess!
2. Got a call today from my friend, my ex-Sgt. who said he'll be laid off come July. He's also going through a divorce and has a sickly baby to boot! Lawyer has advised holding off on the divorce. Already had his soon-to-be-ex wife arrested for domestic violence. Damn!
3. While talking to Sgt. got a call from my boss at Job #1 who left a message saying one of our circulation desk workers has died. Sad, very sad. That's 2 deaths at Job #1 in the past 2 months.

At least #2's and #3 make me realize it can ALWAYS be worse. I just want to get through this bullshit CPS meeting tomorrow night and be done with this crap...until the next time. I guess this is what we are in for for the next 11 years. It is not right that the only recourse we have is to sue the whore civilly for slander, but that means more lawyers and more court dates and more of that horrible mess. Sure, we'll win on paper, but when these fucking lawyers charge us another $20,000, what's the point???

$ problems are back too. S's wisdom teeth surgery today will probably put me back $300+. I had to get the car alignment done yesterday and 2 tires were fucked up all this time so there went another $300.

Shit, I need to balance this post with some good stuff. Here's something awesome: Mudflap made Sgt. yesterday and as a bonus, was given one of the patrol cars to oversee. He'll keep it downtown and now I will also be able to use it whenever I want too and downtown is mighty convenient for us! That will be GREAT. Something else...I ordered myself some business cards for my production company "2:10 Train Productions" and I love them. They are so cool, although S made a comment about me using both my maiden name and my married name on them. I said hey, if my dad uses me then I'll use him and his name! Since his name means something in the film/tv/media world of Houston. One last thing: although I have been a very bad Lent-er, I saw some beautiful cupcakes downstairs here at Job #2 and am not going to partake. Also I will have none of S's ice cream. I will use this to prove to myself, to the world, and to God my steely resolve.

Wotta Wrestling Weekend

So Wrestlemania was in Houston this year. Tickets were unbelievably expensive so we decided to just sit at home in comfort and order the PPV b/c we knew the Wings place and sports bar where we sometimes watch the PPV would be outrageously crowded and we had to go take the baby back that evening anyway (although that fell through b/c those bastards Comcast fucked us over with their shitty service--the PPV was totally unwatchable. Bastards!!!). We decided to get tickets for Fan Axxess on Sunday morning at the Reliant Hall; they were $29 plus taxes and fees each but I found a guy on craigslist selling 2/$50 so I snatched those up. Then on Sunday morn. I just bought a 3rd ticket at the box office. It was way cool and way fun! Jeff Hardy was there! Ric Flair was there! I got a "RKO" temp tattoo spray painted on my arm and it's still there. There were a couple of live matches. The Great Khali was there as well, also some of the divas, Dusty Rhodes, etc. etc. Not a bad family outing at all! Lots of walking around and looking at fun stuff, taking lots of fun pictures.

Last night we thought we found 2 tix for Raw at the Toyota Center, but that fell through as Craigslist sometimes does. S's coworker had an extra ticket and although I really wanted to go, I was tired and didn't want to deal with all the hassle of trying to find another ticket so I told S to go and have fun. Around 3pm I started to get a slight headache, and I rarely get headaches. It worsened hour by hour until by the time I left Job #2 at 6:30pm my head was throbbing and I still had a few errands to run (pickup library book, gas up car) and I didn't know how I was going to make it home. But I did after awhile, and proceeded to lay on the couch for the next 4 hours until S got home. The pain pills didn't even kick in until 9:30pm! I think I'm just wiped out from the past couple of weeks with no down time. I went from partying in San Antonio to being on my feet all week at TLA and busy evenings and then a busy family weekend. I really am not as young as I used to be!

Conventioneering

Ow my damn dogs are whimpering from standing constantly at our booth for the past 2 days. But mostly it's been a fine time out there at the convention center. I have seen many of my old librarian friends and colleagues from my public library days. I walked around the entire exhibits hall and spent a bit of time at the University of Texas Press booth drooling over all the cool books they have there that I am desperate to read. I see a book that is about a fascinating subject (Texas Rangers, Women in Texas Music, etc.) and I MUST HAVE IT. I actually teared up a little bit b/c I actually thought, "What if I die before I get to read all these amazing books that the world has to offer??????" I am serious. They had a beautiful coffee-table-like book on the pictures of Lonesome Dove, the movie. I wanted that book so bad it hurt, but it cost like $30.

Today I saw a funny sleep shirt over in the clothing aisle that said something like, "So many books, so little awake time." Ha! That's so me. Sometimes I get into bed at night with my book du jour and am excited to have some quality reading time (since the only time I have during the day to read is when I'm brushing my teeth in the morning, at lunch, and when the car is at stop lights), only to see S lope into the room minutes later, Seinfeld DVD in hand, and he forces me to turn off the lights so we can get ready for night-night and I groan internally with disappointment! (He calls books my "other man".) Don't get me wrong, snuggling with S is the best, but sometimes I really, really, really, really, really want to read, read, read!!! (Ok, all of the time.)

Last night was pretty fun. Tito J. talked me into meeting him at the all-conference party at the downtown Hilton, where they had food, drinks, desserts (I only ate 3), a live band, dancing, and games such as Wii, Rock Band, Guitar Hero, Dance Dance Revolution, and even board games for the real old school librarians. Tito J. and I rocked out on Rock Band. Tonight we are going to the UNT-SLIS alumni dinner and most of our other FUN friends/colleagues/coworkers will be there too so this should be a fun night. I always go to the dinner when the conference is in Houston and my old professors are always delighted to see me and I am so touched.