All Good Things Must End

When I was 16-17 years old Sunday was my most hated day. It meant I had to leave Pasadena and my mom and brother and our safe home to go back to Houston to a dark, sad little apartment shared with my crackhead father so I could attend my performing arts high school during the week. God, just recalling those depressing feelings and dread I felt back then is bringing me down. Today Sundays no longer depress me as bad as they did back then but today it feels a little rough since I've just enjoyed 4 pretty wonderful days of holiday, family, leisure, fun with friends, and lots and lots of relaxation!

Our marriage counselor suggested I see one of his associates so she could evaluate me. He said that he senses a lot of anger and urgency from me and that his associate specializes in loss and grief therapy, but that lots of times anger comes from a sense of loss. I was intrigued and agreed to the evaluation but said it would have to wait until January when my health FSA kicks in again. I am thinking that anger and urgency have always been a big part of me. There's lots of things from my childhood that makes me angry, but in that I am not unique! The urgency comes from probably just having to do a whole bunch of shit all the time: working 2 jobs and trying to strategize to get my patrol hours in every month on top of that, daily financial planning, etc. But these past few days have really let me slooooooowww down and it's been so great. I am serious, it was just what I needed. I did go on patrol on Friday but that was mostly laid back. And I spent the past few days doing 2 of my favorite things: Staying up late and sleeping in real late!

Other losses I'm feeling today: the end of 2 of our favorite tv shows this week: "The Shield" and "The Pick-Up Artist"! One of my good friends' blogs since she renamed it and now I can't find it! Good losses, however are: me CLEANING HOUSE and trying to unclutter. In fact, time to get back to it before S returns from the movies.

It's That Time of Year: My Future is Sausage Balls

Tomorrow will find us in Deer Park TX, which is as good a place as any to spend Thanksgiving Day, I suppose. My dear, sweet aunt says this year T-giving will be held at her granddaughter's house, so that's where we'll be. Tonight after Job #2 I will go buy the necessary ingredients for the sausage balls. Tomorrow morning I will make them. Tomorrow night I plan to be in a food coma. But Friday I plan on working off at least a few calories, as I plan to go on patrol!

Yesterday S took his polygraph for the Sheriff's Dept. He says they told him he passed. Mudflap and I both agree that is unfair, since we weren't told if we passed or not when we had ours, and we were sent home to worry about it. Then again, Mudflap and I both had a few youthful transgressions to be a little concerned about whereas S, except for the illegal street racing, has been mostly better behaved than us. For example, he's never done one single, solitary drug, not even one drag on a joint, which I think is quite rare. (Or maybe it's just rare amongst the people I know, but that includes my fellow deputies!!!)

Next for S is the psychological exam and then, I guess, a home visit from one of the background investigators. After that hopefully he will be good to go. He says he would like to work in the Marine Division, where I spent 2 mostly uneventful years. Well, I guess I did learn how to back a trailer and operate a Duracraft boat. Anyway, that is fine with me and I said I hoped we could work together sometime. However, it is probably not a good idea to ever work street patrol together. Most husband and wife deputies don't do this, just in case the shit goes down, which is always possible.

I have to admit, I'm not worth much today. There are only 3 of us here at Job #1 in my dept. However, I don't mind being here--as long as they don't mind that I'm not worth much today! What I'm looking forward to most the next few days is, as always: sleeping late. Oh, and reading!!! Sleeping and reading are THE best things about the holidays for me!!!

WTF You Mean a "B"?!?

Ok ok, perhaps it was my karma getting me, but I have to admit I wrote a paper last week for my student assistant at Job #2 b/c she hates English papers, it was due the next day, and I love writing papers and essays! I very quickly read/skimmed Hawthorne's "The Birthmark" and wrote a quick paper for her. The topic: explain how the quest for physical perfection leads to tragedy in the story. I was insightful and articulate. I wrote my usual beautiful, long-winded sentences. It was fun! Besides, my student definitely got the gist of the story, she just is not good at writing--her prowess is math--so I didn't feel too guilty about doing her assignment for her. Besides, I left some stuff up to her to fill in, such as the MLA references. She promised to pay me in chocolate. Well damn it all to hell if she didn't get a "B"!!! I was incensed, chagrined, all that good stuff. Then I read the paper. Turns out she had rewritten some of my sentences in her own words and subsequently the grammar and punctuation were off, etc. Whew! She still wants to give me my chocolate, though.

Today I ate a ridiculous amount of wonderful Chinese food for lunch. I was driving all over tarnation with my boss, doing site visits, and we stopped off at the Chinese Community Center. My contact there volunteered to show us an excellent Chinese restaurant in the area--who were we to say no? She ordered for us and the food was hot, good, and plenty of it! Cashew chicken, shrimp, beef, spicy soup, rice, rice, and more rice. Ouch, my waistband.

Relieved...

S is going to pick up the baby from school today. I am so relieved b/c I usually have to do it (since I can get off work easily and it's a hassle for him to) and I absolutely hate that long, annoying, traffic-filled drive even on early Friday afternoons. It just stresses me out every time I have to go up there and I always feel resentful that the baby is so far away from us. Still, after he picks her up he's going to drop her off here with me at Job #1 so I can watch her while he goes back to work since we need every last dollar he can make. She and I will be here for just a little while before we go to Job #2. Then we have a marriage counseling session and she has been very good at all of them, waiting nicely outside in the waiting room, watching Spiderman on the PSP.

I was thinking last night at Job #2 how truly fortunate I need to feel that I do have workplaces where the baby can come spend time with me. She can sit on the floor of my office at Job #1 and color, draw, make me laugh, etc. And at Job #2 she can sit on one of the 32 computers in there and watch SpongeBob, do computer coloring, make me laugh, etc.

Tomorrow I have to go work at Greek Fest and I always love working there b/c it's usually pretty fun and the food is out of this freakin' world. Opa! I'm working the 4p-midnight shift so Auntie J. is coming with us so she can watch the baby until S gets off work and can come pick her up. Auntie J. is being nice enough to do this in exchange for food only, but man, what a load of food she is going to get!!!

Old Friend, New Blog Friend

I have found one of my long-lost, dearest friends via Facebook. I am tickled! "Sweet Lei"'s blog is now linked from mine. She presents herself like she's some kind of citizen, mother, contributor to society--and she is!!!--even though I know her from her crazy teenage days. I can't believe how much and how fast the 2 of us have grown up. Sniff!

And Today Begins the Holiday Eating

Although I missed Job #1's T-giving luncheon today b/c I was at the High-spanic HC lunch meeting, when I returned I found piles and stacks of leftovers in the staff lounge. Being already armed with leftovers from the HHC lunch (which I will feed to S tonight) I could only stomach the thought of helping myself to a piece of pineapple upside down cake and a big brownie with chocolate chips in it. I am still working on said brownie as I type.

The Holiday party season has begun for me, too. So far I've got 2 on the agenda: the HHC holiday party and Job #2's holiday dinner. A friend of mine mentioned to me her upcoming "Christmas Ornament Exchange" party but I cannot imagine anything more boring than having to go hunt down an ornament at some random store and then exchange it with someone I don't even know at a party. Is this supposed to be fun or something? I don't mean to sound like a Scrooge, but as Dave Ramsey said on his radio show today, the holidays have gotten completely out of hand and we've got to turn it around.

Good news FINALLY!!! The baby's certified birth certificate came in the mail yesterday. S is now listed as her father and the baby has a new last name: OURS!!! I fucking despise the State of Texas. I know 90% of its employees move their lips when they read. This birth certificate should have been here last month but the state govt. idiots sent back our application saying we needed to send in a certified court order. Uh--that's what we did send in! An angry phone call by S and an "Oh. Duh. Please send it back. Oops, time to breathe again!" reply later and now we FINALLY have the document in our hands. Cretins. Pinheads.

In final news for today, I had a really fun shopping trip 2 nights ago. I also, FINALLY, got my $20 Target shopping card for donating blood 3 times this year. They said the Hurricane delayed me getting my card, but anyway. I bought myself--since this was "found" money and I could therefore spend it all on me--thigh-high socks (3 pairs!), leopard-print tights (2 pairs/colors!), and a new bra. Shopping is so much more fun when it's someone else paying (even though I paid with blood first! S'all right, I made more!).

My "First" Concert

Tito J. has requested blog postings on our First Concert Ever. Well, that's going to be a tough one for me, seeing as how I don't technically remember my first concert since my parents dragged me and my brother along to their concerts ever since we were wee little Chicanos. Apparently Tito J.'s first concert was at AstroWorld and it was the Eurythmics. I would kill to see Tito J.'s outfit (and hairstyle!) that night! Oh yeah, but anyway, I have so many concerts from my childhood I would have to just list the most significant ones:

1. "Canto Al Pueblo": a musical road trip to Corpus Christi where my father rented a Winnebago and took us to this music festival. Steve Jordan played and I remember really enjoying myself and getting a kick out of everything. This was 1977 so I was 5 and my parents were still together.
   
2. Brave Combo at that hellhole Fitzgeralds: I remember getting burned with cigarettes b/c I was little and cig's were held right at kid-head-level. This was late 70's.
   
3. Eric Clapton and I will have to ask my mom who opened up for him: This was at The Summit, early 1980's and was my first big, arena concert. This was the first time I was in the same room with my idol, Donald "Duck" Dunn and I remember thinking, at the end of the concert when everyone held up their cigarette lighters, that it looked like stars and that it was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen in my young life!
   
4. The Go-Go's, AstroWorld: I believe I was 10 or so, and this was possibly the 1st concert I asked my mom to let me go see. She not only let me, she got me backstage (she was a nurse at AstroWorld) so I could actually meet them!!!
   
5. Madonna, The Summit: I was about 15 and my BFF from high school made me go with him to this concert. He was obsessed with Madonna (and Prince) and as a footnote, later turned out to be gay. God, I wonder where he is???
   
6. The BoDeans, Rockefeller's: I was about 16 and this was probably the 1st venue concert I asked my mom to let me go see. My dad took me and I remember I had just gotten my hair sun-glitzed and french-braided and I felt so pretty!
   

Then my concert-going career just took off from high school on. My dad also started taking me to many, many shows at the Houston Rodeo and all over Houston and then once I hit college it was all over--I hit the ground running and have never looked back! I bet I've been to hundreds and hundreds of concerts of all types, shapes and sizes. The last one I went to? The Iguanas, last Friday! Who (big names) have I seen in concert the most times? I would say The Band, Los Lobos, Bruce Hornsby, Lyle Lovett. The best concert ever, hands down? The Band with the Subdudes at the House of Blues, Los Angeles!

The Kids, They Love Me

So this afternoon I went to a middle school located in the "hood", and spoke to about 80 6th graders on how I became a musician/librarian/sheriff. I created a cute Power Point for them with various pic's of me doing all 3 things. I brought my vest, Marine Division shirt, and of course, gun belt, though I left the gun at home. However, I did bring the Taser and gave them all a treat by spark-testing it for them, which means you FIRST REMOVE the Taser cartridge, flip the safety, and then you can pull the trigger and it sparks up and makes the scary Taser sound and you do not want to be on the end of it b/c it still works and I can "dry-stun" somebody with it if I wanted to. The kids loved it. I was followed by a plumber and even though he was funny and had lots of good info to share, I felt a little bad for him b/c I am a hard act to follow! Afterwards we took questions from the kids and they had about 15 questions for me (and about 4 for the plumber) and they even made me sing for them! I haven't sung in public in years but I gave them the first verse of "She's Into Something"!

"The snappin' of her finger makes the dog wags its tail
The whistle from her voice will make the train jump the rail
Take her to a race track
Show her face
Horse that ain't won in years
Comes in first place
You know that, she's into something!"

Thank God I was singing that in the shower this morning! I saw my Dad at the school since it's a school he occasionally works at. He borrowed $3 from me and split before my presentation. Before he left he introduced me and gave my credentials to this one school administrator, who said, "Wow, your daughter has accomplished all of that and in spite of..." and looked at my dad! Hardy har har!

BTW, that plumber gig sounds like a real racket. Apparently there's a huge plumber shortage and they make big ol' bank, even starting out as an apprentice!!! Can I fit yet another job into my schedule???

I See Crazy People

Well, fortunately I haven't had to see too much of them, just hear about and from them! It's been quite the nutty weekend. First my poor beloved 92-year old grandfather fell on Friday night and broke his neck at C2 and C3 and my pinhead pea-brain worthless aunts hauled him all over tarnation like village idiots trying to get him into a hospital. Me, S, and the baby went to see him yesterday since I work right near that hospital and he looked pretty good except for the "Miami J" neck brace! Amazingly enough, the doctor released him to come home last night. He is some kind of medical miracle savant, I tell you. So second, my now-ex-BFF goes absolutely apeshit and seems to have had some kind of psychotic meltdown and I realized that it's time to cut off all ties with her forever (!!!). Naturally I'm upset about that, but the big moral of the story is what I have preached all along: you can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves.

And patrol on Sat. night was a total snoozer. We sat at an arson fire for 3 1/2 hours. Then we went to a major accident but we were an hour late (due to the arson fire) so didn't get to do anything or see anything except for blood puddles in the grass. Word to the wise: NEVER be stupid enough to race cars down a public roadway. OMG. By then it was time for me go home so I did.

There were some highlights of the weekend: taking the baby to see Madagascar 2 yesterday. Real moments of hilarity in that one. Sitting outside in the sun behind our favorite neigborhood library on Saturday reading, reading, and more reading while the baby played on the playground with other kids. Watching CastAway on tv at home and hearing the baby be smart enough to figure out that the mysterious island sound that perplexes Tom Hanks was stuff falling from the trees (I didn't even figure that out the 1st time I saw that movie!).

I was having fun shopping for X-mas presents at CafePress today. Man, they have got some hilarious stuff, including tons of police/cop stuff! I got S a t-shirt that reads "My Wife Rocks!" and I got a real funny t-shirt for Mudflap that reads: "Eat. Sleep. Arrest people" accompanied by the cartoony-highway signs usually associated with food, lodging, etc. and a 3rd cartoony one of a cop holding onto a criminal. S says I should buy for myself the t-shirt that says "I See Guilty People"!

Mortal Coil Music

Here's a fun article especially in light of my recently writing a blog post about this very subject. The article also includes comments from a formerly close friend of mine who is currently an actual funeral director. Heh. But I also love this article b/c my beloved Band is mentioned twice, or has 2 songs listed!!! Yes, I will also have a Band song played at my funeral, specifically the Band's "Sleeping"! In fact, this is THE most important song of all of the ones on my list.

I am so glad to be able to work from home tomorrow. I get to do this once a month.

Ha. Ha. HA!!!

Man, S thinks my letter to Judge Farr is a little harsh! Jeez, it's not like I cuss his ass out or call him a power-hungry megalomaniac lazy incompetent asshole. 'Cause I easily could have.

I can't believe I picked up the phone today and actually spoke to Judge Hinojosa. I called the 312th district family court and asked the clerk when did Judge Farr actually vacate the bench and she had no idea. So I called the only phone # I had for Judge Hinojosa and incredibly, he answered. I told him I campaigned for him and that I would be writing letters to both him and to Judge Farr. My letter to Judge Hinojosa will outline what I and my fellow constituents expect from a family court judge and I will ask him to please close our case once and for all, since Judge Farr couldn't be bothered to properly do so.

Now my concern is that since our incumbent Sheriff has been voted out of office, rampant rumor has it his successor is going to do away with the decades-old Reserves program. Personally I don't see how he could possibly do that, but then again I'm really not sure how much unchecked executive power the Sheriff has. If that happens I will be out of a law enforcement "job", such as it is, which will suck so bad. Plan B will be that I guess I will have to apply for the local constable Reserves and if it comes to that I hope I don't have to pass a PT test. I am way too old and tired for that shit now.

"I Think We're Gonna Have to Get Drunk"

Quick: what movie is that legendary line from???

My right eye is twitching today. If it's not one thing, it's another. I had to call the baby's school today to speak to the counselor about the baby hitting other students. Having to deal with this frustrates and pisses me off no end and it's hard to control my emotions when I think about it, especially since the baby told me that dickhead hits her on her bottom and also hits his and the whore's devil spawn bastard child, so that's where the baby is getting this influence. I have been consciously attempting to make strides in lowering my stress and keep asking myself, when I feel my temper or angst levels rise, "Does it really matter?" and I find myself doing pretty well, but then BAM! Something like the baby hitting other kids pops up and I'm back to square Fucking one--b/c hell yes, that fucking matters. I also had a stressful meeting today at work--the people were delightful, just the subject was stressful so I was still very much on edge and couldn't help it. So tonight when I meet S at the Mezz, I'm afraid a beer is going to have to be in order. I wanted to have a beer all weekend but the H-ween candy and its calories overruled the beer calories. But last night S and I went for a run and that was great, even though I hated every minute of it as always. Running is such a wonderful thing to do--I wish I didn't despise it so!

We had a nice family weekend! H-ween was spent at Auntie R.'s house with S and me taking the baby around the neighborhood for classic trick or treating. I went with my old angel costume and the baby did her cheerleader thing. Saturday was more family fun at the High-spanic Health coalition's family fitness event. Ma came and Auntie R. and the baby did hula hooping, jump roping, climbed the rock wall, and danced with me and Auntie R. We both got our flu shots--free!--and the baby did not put up much of a fuss, for which I was very proud. And I was able to catch a little of the Flatlanders that night, along with some of Jerry Jeff Walker. Great free fun!

Sunday I lounged around in my bed for as long as possible. Then we went to eat at Souper Salad which is becoming a family fave, especially on Sundays when kiddie meals are discounted. S and the baby wanted to see a movie, but there was nothing that I was yearning to see. So they ended up watching High School Musical 3 and the least objectionable thing I could decide on was the new Clint Eastwood joint Changeling, and that was pretty ok since it did satisfy my ever-present true-crime jones.