What a miserable fucking week. And it's only Tuesday!!! Basically, we are depressed and disgusted b/c yesterday at our pre-trial conference, the whore and her asshole doddering old fool lawyer got the jury trial that was scheduled for next week POSTPONED AGAIN. Our lawyer says that every delay that could possibly happen in a case seems to have happened in ours. Our lawyer protested vehemently, but it was no use. The judge granted the continuance. The amicus told the judge that when this gets reset again, short of someone dying then we need to move forward. We got put on the docket for jury trial as a backup case on Dec. 3. Although our lawyer says the lawyer on that case usually settles her cases and there's a good chance that we will go forward at that time with our trial, I'm sure the whore will come up with some other excuse to postpone. I don't know how much more obvious it can be to anyone with half a brain that she is deliberately stalling. Why would that be? Because she is going to lose, and she knows it!!! But in the meantime she is also sending me and S to the poorhouse and in the meantime she also has custody of our child. We are up to $24,000+ spent on this case and we haven't even got to trial yet.
Poor S was literally at a loss for words yesterday when I called and told him (I'd gone to the courthouse alone so he could go to work and make $--I get paid time off, he doesn't). He said they are breaking him. I've never heard him say that before. I've seen him have panic attacks, bleeding ulcers, insomnia and nightmares, but I never heard him before come out and say that he doesn't know if he can take it anymore, and it worried me. I begged Mudflap to call him and talk to him, but Mudflap couldn't get S to answer his phone. Later I asked S if he wanted me to skip my monthly sheriff's meeting last night and come home, but he said it was ok if I went.
I didn't rant and rave as much this time as I did the last time they got this postponed. I did cry a little yesterday and this a.m. and had some insomnia last night. But these fuckers don't know who they're dealing with. If they think they're going to make me--US--give up, oh man, are they sorely mistaken. Everyone knows I damn well finish what I start, and I WIN. What did piss me off is the whore was hiding out until the amicus left, then she and the lying old bag came out of hiding and when I saw the whore, she didn't look at me (she never looks at me) but started smiling, knowing I was looking at her. She is 6 months pregnant and it shows. If I were her, I'd be careful. Karma is a bitch. More than the whore could ever be.
If there's any good news at all in this horrible saga, it's that I didn't pay the amicus his money yesterday (although I did have to pay my lawyer another $5,000) so at least the payments will be spread out a little bit more. I went to work at the new Job #2 for a little while yesterday after court so double-earned some $ before I went to Job #1. I love Job #2's convenience. It is right down the road from home and Job #1.
I didn't have much appetite again yesterday or today, although I did go out to eat at our usual place after the meeting with Mudflap and C. They made me laugh, so that's good. We are making plans to spend NY's together again. C. wants to spend it down in his neck of the woods, which is waaaay down south. He says if we don't want to drive home after midnight with all the crazies then we can crash at his lovely home, which would be nice! So that's probably what we'll do.
So I wasn't going to participate in Job #1's H'ween festivities tomorrow, but the crazy library director's very nice secretary called me today and said that she heard I always dress up, and that she was going to, so was I? I told her I couldn't get it together this year. I was feeling a little sad about it, seeing as how I always, always celebrate Halloween in full force. But she begged, and even offered to buy me lunch if I would dress up! So I said I'd think about it. And actually, I think that thanks to her prodding and encouragement, I can scrape together a last-minute something for tomorrow. It really just wouldn't be me to not celebrate H'ween. And no matter how much you've lost or how much you've been through, you've always gotta be you!!!
Last night at Job #2. I got some nice little going away gifts. I will miss this place though I admit on the drive down here I was thanking the Lord I won't have to make this drive on Tuesday nights anymore. S texted me that he missed me and I texted back this is my last night, yay!
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Cupcakes to the Rescue
Sometimes you just need a cupcake. Especially one with orange frosting and a spider ring on top of it.
Last night I was thinking how I wish we could afford to go grocery shopping at Kroger!!! (Damn, I'm frugal.) But that's really just b/c their bakery dept. is far superior to the HEB's at which I always grocery shop (if you are Hispanic then you must pronounce HEB, "El Cheeby"). I was jonesing for some fresh baked cookies or something. But I went to El Cheeby anyway, only to find that their power was out and they were all hanging out in the parking lot to warn us customers to vamoose! Onto Kroger! I bought Halloween cupcakes on sale and a bakery box of my fave cookie of all time, the White Chocolate Macadamia Nut. Went home and ate one of each. And was happy!
I've had such a bad attitude at Job #1 all year long I had already decided not to participate in their Halloween festivities here, when I always have in previous years. But now they've announced a H'ween staff party w/prizes. Oh, here's my competitive streak rearing its highly competitive head. In past years I've been: Annie Oakley, GoGo from Kill Bill, a fairy, a bullfighter, and last year I was the Mexican wrestler Rey Mysterio. So now I better figure out something to wear and I've got less than a week to do it in.
Last night I was thinking how I wish we could afford to go grocery shopping at Kroger!!! (Damn, I'm frugal.) But that's really just b/c their bakery dept. is far superior to the HEB's at which I always grocery shop (if you are Hispanic then you must pronounce HEB, "El Cheeby"). I was jonesing for some fresh baked cookies or something. But I went to El Cheeby anyway, only to find that their power was out and they were all hanging out in the parking lot to warn us customers to vamoose! Onto Kroger! I bought Halloween cupcakes on sale and a bakery box of my fave cookie of all time, the White Chocolate Macadamia Nut. Went home and ate one of each. And was happy!
I've had such a bad attitude at Job #1 all year long I had already decided not to participate in their Halloween festivities here, when I always have in previous years. But now they've announced a H'ween staff party w/prizes. Oh, here's my competitive streak rearing its highly competitive head. In past years I've been: Annie Oakley, GoGo from Kill Bill, a fairy, a bullfighter, and last year I was the Mexican wrestler Rey Mysterio. So now I better figure out something to wear and I've got less than a week to do it in.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Rough Few Days
The past few days have just been damn weary. My marriage was tested big-time, and then, as if a sign from God, last night I offered to help my friend at Job #2 b/c she is waaaaay behind on shelving since they haven't yet hired a replacement for the other shelver that left, and I stumbled across the book Surrendering to Marriage and it had a lot of good stuff in there that I needed to read. I liked the part that said if any married person is at all honest, they will say that marriage can, at times, be hell.
Anyway, it was kind of interesting to observe how my brain totally shut down on Sunday. It was nice to just give myself over to helplessness--b/c when you're at your absolute extreme limits of thought and action and can do no more, it's nice to finally have the freedom to DO NO MORE. There is a great peace in just not giving a shit about anything in the world anymore. Now, you don't want to spend too much time in that place for what I hope are obvious reasons, but on Sunday I was there and I was, for lack of a better word, "happy" to be hiding out there for awhile. Later, S and I made up. I knew we would, and that is one of the many reasons I married him. Meanwhile, my brain is still slowly coming back into play. (It's hard to come back from that place.)
But besides all that, we had a great family weekend up to Sunday. On Sat. we took the baby to her final visit before trial with the amicus atty. and I feel like it went very well. (He told us the whore is pregnant again. Will she and dickhead actually give birth to the true antichrist? Fuckin' scary.) Then we went to the zoo for "Zoo Boo" and had a fun time there. I had decided to not be so hard on the baby anymore in terms of her behavior and to give her all the attention she wanted. I've been reading this extremely disturbing book that I cannot put down called The Working Poor: Invisible in America and it talks about the vicious cycle that is poverty and also the station of children in that cycle. I'm especially distressed by reading the kids' stories. I remember in 2004 having the misfortune of waiting for a bus in Anacostia, where some of these kids' stories take place. I was with P. in VA and I desperately wanted to go see my hero Frederick Douglass' house in Anacostia but we had to take a bus to get there since P.'s car was back at my hotel in DC. We waited in misery for about an hour. We were surrounded by a huge crowd of some of the ghettoiest blacks you can imagine. Pre-teen girls were loudly cussing and actually smoking a joint right in front of us. They acted like animals. I was so disgusted. Eventually P. and I gave up and went back to DC. Frederick Douglass must be rolling over in his grave.
But I digress. Anyway, a certain line from that book struck me. It said that these certain types of parents complain about their kids acting out, saying that they're just trying to get attention. Well, the books says, but children need attention. Whoa... I guess I'd forgotten that lately. I paid extra attention to the baby this weekend and played with her every time she asked (as opposed to taking breaks from her and burying my nose in my book) and she actually didn't need much scolding either. Funny how that works out.
Nice weather we're having here. Don't have to turn on the a/c at home which means saving money, yay! S and I tried to run on Monday night but had to settle for walking laps due to the rain and the wind. We were the only ones out at the park. I was in no mood to run anyway since my brain still wasn't working right. My appetite is slowly returning also, which is good. I told DH, if you ever see me NOT eating, you know that it is deadly serious. I only lose my appetite in the most dire of circumstances, and I'd lost it on Sunday-Tuesday.
Anyway, it was kind of interesting to observe how my brain totally shut down on Sunday. It was nice to just give myself over to helplessness--b/c when you're at your absolute extreme limits of thought and action and can do no more, it's nice to finally have the freedom to DO NO MORE. There is a great peace in just not giving a shit about anything in the world anymore. Now, you don't want to spend too much time in that place for what I hope are obvious reasons, but on Sunday I was there and I was, for lack of a better word, "happy" to be hiding out there for awhile. Later, S and I made up. I knew we would, and that is one of the many reasons I married him. Meanwhile, my brain is still slowly coming back into play. (It's hard to come back from that place.)
But besides all that, we had a great family weekend up to Sunday. On Sat. we took the baby to her final visit before trial with the amicus atty. and I feel like it went very well. (He told us the whore is pregnant again. Will she and dickhead actually give birth to the true antichrist? Fuckin' scary.) Then we went to the zoo for "Zoo Boo" and had a fun time there. I had decided to not be so hard on the baby anymore in terms of her behavior and to give her all the attention she wanted. I've been reading this extremely disturbing book that I cannot put down called The Working Poor: Invisible in America and it talks about the vicious cycle that is poverty and also the station of children in that cycle. I'm especially distressed by reading the kids' stories. I remember in 2004 having the misfortune of waiting for a bus in Anacostia, where some of these kids' stories take place. I was with P. in VA and I desperately wanted to go see my hero Frederick Douglass' house in Anacostia but we had to take a bus to get there since P.'s car was back at my hotel in DC. We waited in misery for about an hour. We were surrounded by a huge crowd of some of the ghettoiest blacks you can imagine. Pre-teen girls were loudly cussing and actually smoking a joint right in front of us. They acted like animals. I was so disgusted. Eventually P. and I gave up and went back to DC. Frederick Douglass must be rolling over in his grave.
But I digress. Anyway, a certain line from that book struck me. It said that these certain types of parents complain about their kids acting out, saying that they're just trying to get attention. Well, the books says, but children need attention. Whoa... I guess I'd forgotten that lately. I paid extra attention to the baby this weekend and played with her every time she asked (as opposed to taking breaks from her and burying my nose in my book) and she actually didn't need much scolding either. Funny how that works out.
Nice weather we're having here. Don't have to turn on the a/c at home which means saving money, yay! S and I tried to run on Monday night but had to settle for walking laps due to the rain and the wind. We were the only ones out at the park. I was in no mood to run anyway since my brain still wasn't working right. My appetite is slowly returning also, which is good. I told DH, if you ever see me NOT eating, you know that it is deadly serious. I only lose my appetite in the most dire of circumstances, and I'd lost it on Sunday-Tuesday.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
All This Work
So yesterday at the New Job #2 was interesting and productive, I suppose. I taught myself how to copy-catalog books by stealing the info from the Lib. of Congress' Z39.50 webpage. Fortunately my predecessor had bookmarked that website and so I deduced what he had been using it for. Then it was just a matter of figuring out how to use the library's catalog software, this ghetto product that had several misspellings and typos all over its website and user manuals. But I ran through the tutorial and read the manual and figured it out. Hopefully I did it right--we'll soon see! This library is so tiny, basically the size of a small classroom. But tomorrow they're moving the books downstairs to the new space, which is about twice as large. I ordered them to KEEP THE BOOKS IN CALL # ORDER! I report back for duty next Monday evening. I hope it's not too scary after-hours, as that's the majority of the time I'll be there. It'll be a little lonely, I think. Pros and cons, pros and cons.
I've been mostly out of the office at Job #1 this week and Admin. is getting a little perturbed that this stupid kiosk project is not yet completed. They can kiss my ass b/c I simply have not been here lately in order to deal with it! I had to teach this a.m., go do a site visit on another stupid kiosk this afternoon, and tomorrow a.m. they've got me exhibiting at the local Guatemalan consulate. What do they expect?!?
Tonight is the HOA Board of Directors meeting at home. They are trying to fix some money and parking prob's. and a lot of us residents will be in attendance. I expect lots of screaming and table-pounding to occur!
I've been mostly out of the office at Job #1 this week and Admin. is getting a little perturbed that this stupid kiosk project is not yet completed. They can kiss my ass b/c I simply have not been here lately in order to deal with it! I had to teach this a.m., go do a site visit on another stupid kiosk this afternoon, and tomorrow a.m. they've got me exhibiting at the local Guatemalan consulate. What do they expect?!?
Tonight is the HOA Board of Directors meeting at home. They are trying to fix some money and parking prob's. and a lot of us residents will be in attendance. I expect lots of screaming and table-pounding to occur!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Date With Myself
I have worked too much lately: Job #2 on Sat., Patrol on Sun. too late b/c of a stupid ticket I wrote that had an error on it; and yesterday I had to go do an exhibit at this horrible, dark, seedy nightclub of all places, for Latino AIDS awareness day from 2-4:30, then hustle up to the extreme opposite of town in rush-hour traffic AND the rain, to teach the Folk Remedies class one more time at 6pm. My throat had been hurting a little on Sunday and also a little last night. When I finished with the class I had to get back home--again at the extreme opposite end of town--and I was so tired I wanted to sleep at the wheel!
Ok, it didn't help that I was up until after 1am on Sunday night watching the Spike Lee documentary, but it was so good I couldn't look away! So last night, lying on the couch and eating a dinner of soup heated up by S, I decided I was going to bed early AND taking a sick day today in order to give my throat, body, and psyche a chance to heal. I slept about 10 hours last night and needed it! And this afternoon I decided to take myself out on a date and went to see Into The Wild, the new movie by Sean Penn based on a true story and a book that I've--naturally--read. Unfortunately I had to leave the movie early so I could make it to Job #2 on time! :-( It was longer than I thought it would be. Good thing I know how it ends, heh heh.
Tomorrow I'm taking the day off from Job #1 in order to put in a full day at the new Job #2. I had brunch with Tito J. on Sunday and he says I am going to have to do some cataloging there. Holy balls, I haven't done any cataloging, ever. Sure, I took 2 classes on the subject in library school but that was 13 freakin' years ago! Is there a website on the subject? Anyway, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I wonder if I'll miss dealing with the hoi polloi library patrons? Tonight we had a seizure occur and everyone was freaking out except me. The teenage boy collapsed and the mom was screaming out and everyone was gathering around and I immediately and calmly announced, "It's ok, he's just having a seizure, he's going to be all right." We called 911 anyway and EMS came and dealt with it. We've been having a rash of incidents around here, from what they've told me. In separate incidents, 2 people broke bones outside just yesterday on the library's porch! I hope the city's prepared for lawsuits.
I'm reading about 5-6 books at a time right now. I'm trying to read as much as possible before I gotta turn them back in at Job #2. It's a wild adventure!
Ok, it didn't help that I was up until after 1am on Sunday night watching the Spike Lee documentary, but it was so good I couldn't look away! So last night, lying on the couch and eating a dinner of soup heated up by S, I decided I was going to bed early AND taking a sick day today in order to give my throat, body, and psyche a chance to heal. I slept about 10 hours last night and needed it! And this afternoon I decided to take myself out on a date and went to see Into The Wild, the new movie by Sean Penn based on a true story and a book that I've--naturally--read. Unfortunately I had to leave the movie early so I could make it to Job #2 on time! :-( It was longer than I thought it would be. Good thing I know how it ends, heh heh.
Tomorrow I'm taking the day off from Job #1 in order to put in a full day at the new Job #2. I had brunch with Tito J. on Sunday and he says I am going to have to do some cataloging there. Holy balls, I haven't done any cataloging, ever. Sure, I took 2 classes on the subject in library school but that was 13 freakin' years ago! Is there a website on the subject? Anyway, I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I wonder if I'll miss dealing with the hoi polloi library patrons? Tonight we had a seizure occur and everyone was freaking out except me. The teenage boy collapsed and the mom was screaming out and everyone was gathering around and I immediately and calmly announced, "It's ok, he's just having a seizure, he's going to be all right." We called 911 anyway and EMS came and dealt with it. We've been having a rash of incidents around here, from what they've told me. In separate incidents, 2 people broke bones outside just yesterday on the library's porch! I hope the city's prepared for lawsuits.
I'm reading about 5-6 books at a time right now. I'm trying to read as much as possible before I gotta turn them back in at Job #2. It's a wild adventure!
Saturday, October 13, 2007
One Thing I Won't Miss About Job #2
Well, there's a few other things too, like attempting to get here at 8am on Saturdays and kicking out disrespectful, loud-mouthed teens, but the BIG one is how motherfucking cold it is in here, like, all of the time. My coworker and I are both sitting on our hands again. At lunch I went to BK and sat in the car and thawed out for the entire hour. And I'm wearing a jacket, jeans and cowboy boots (it's rodeo week here)!
I'll have to continue the Osler's 8 Lessons posts later. I had a really fun time last night with my other coworker from Job #2 and her b-day party at the Spotlight Karaoke! S and I both dressed up a little bit fancy and Mano met us there later. They had the big room reserved and there was so much food it was a feast. Also 2 cakes including one that looked just like a big microphone! (I took pic's, to be posted later as soon as my lazy ass gets around to it.) I told S we'd go for "one hour" b/c I had to work today. We ended up spending 3 hours there and not leaving until midnight, so today I'm tired but happy, having had a great time at the festivities and having 2 pieces of cake at home waiting for me since she insisted I take some home!
And yes, she's mad at me for leaving Job #2, but she also understands about the mo' money, mo' hours thing. But we found out something really funny, turns out she is very familiar with my dad's degenerate family, specifically his cousins that are all pot fiends and crackheads! She comes from the same barrio that they do. She told me that they deal drugs out of my grandmother's sister's house, which I am well aware of, and that she has tried to call the cops on them many times. Turds. I told her how I will always remember being a little kid and being at the 7-11 with one of my dad's cousins, and watching him try to pay for beer with a big pile of pocket change.
S and Mano are out running today; S is being so disciplined about his running lately, in preparation for going to the police academy in January. He has gone running almost every single night and I go with him when I can, which lately has not been much due to all my work obligations.
I can't wait to go home and lounge. I've got Spike Lee's documentary about Hurricane Katrina When The Levees Broke waiting for me at home, and Dr. Elizabeth Warren's riveting book The Two-Income Trap that I can't put down. I'm also listening to Chuck Norris' autobiography, Against All Odds on CD (S got that one for me from the library). So much information to absorb, so little time! I feel like I'm never going to get to it all. In heaven I'll have my very own non-fiction multimedia library! Tomorrow will be a busy day of meeting Tito J., who is back in Houston for yet another weekend, for brunch, then rushing home to meet Mudflap for another exciting day of dishing out police brutality at the Mexican Flea Market. Ha ha! Just kidding! Maybe.
I'll have to continue the Osler's 8 Lessons posts later. I had a really fun time last night with my other coworker from Job #2 and her b-day party at the Spotlight Karaoke! S and I both dressed up a little bit fancy and Mano met us there later. They had the big room reserved and there was so much food it was a feast. Also 2 cakes including one that looked just like a big microphone! (I took pic's, to be posted later as soon as my lazy ass gets around to it.) I told S we'd go for "one hour" b/c I had to work today. We ended up spending 3 hours there and not leaving until midnight, so today I'm tired but happy, having had a great time at the festivities and having 2 pieces of cake at home waiting for me since she insisted I take some home!
And yes, she's mad at me for leaving Job #2, but she also understands about the mo' money, mo' hours thing. But we found out something really funny, turns out she is very familiar with my dad's degenerate family, specifically his cousins that are all pot fiends and crackheads! She comes from the same barrio that they do. She told me that they deal drugs out of my grandmother's sister's house, which I am well aware of, and that she has tried to call the cops on them many times. Turds. I told her how I will always remember being a little kid and being at the 7-11 with one of my dad's cousins, and watching him try to pay for beer with a big pile of pocket change.
S and Mano are out running today; S is being so disciplined about his running lately, in preparation for going to the police academy in January. He has gone running almost every single night and I go with him when I can, which lately has not been much due to all my work obligations.
I can't wait to go home and lounge. I've got Spike Lee's documentary about Hurricane Katrina When The Levees Broke waiting for me at home, and Dr. Elizabeth Warren's riveting book The Two-Income Trap that I can't put down. I'm also listening to Chuck Norris' autobiography, Against All Odds on CD (S got that one for me from the library). So much information to absorb, so little time! I feel like I'm never going to get to it all. In heaven I'll have my very own non-fiction multimedia library! Tomorrow will be a busy day of meeting Tito J., who is back in Houston for yet another weekend, for brunch, then rushing home to meet Mudflap for another exciting day of dishing out police brutality at the Mexican Flea Market. Ha ha! Just kidding! Maybe.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
8 Practical Lessons That Will Better Your Life, Pt. 1
I attended a wonderful lecture on Tuesday (and got free lunch, yay) on the great William Osler, one of the fathers of modern medicine, and 8 lessons from his life that we can all learn and use in order to be successful. It was nice to see that I myself already adhere or attempt to adhere to many of the lessons.
1. Find Mentors.
Osler had several other physicians whom he admired and who helped him out, gave him a job, gave him access to their private libraries, whatever. Whenever I've met someone I greatly admire--ALWAYS an extremely accomplished individual--I have allowed them to influence me greatly both in work and in life. I've pretty much handed over to them the controls to my tender young mind and psyche, shut up, listened, observed, and did what they said to do, no questions asked. These include my high school viola teacher, Ms. Meitz; my high school orchestra conductor, Mr. Lantz; my college viola professor, Dr. Papich; my college orchestra conductor, Dr. Brusilow; and my library school professors, Dr. Ana and Dr. Totten, to name the most notable and the ones most responsible for me being where I am today. (Some of these people I was a little terrified of too, which I'm sure helped.)
2. Find a Calling.
Osler was going to go into religious work initially but then medicine caught his eye. He was torn between the 2 but ultimately of course, chose medicine. I've been lucky enough to enjoy several callings. Art was the first, but music was the second and the most intense. I'm not sure I would consider library science a calling b/c I don't feel the passion for it that I feel for my other callings. For music I feel passion always at a 10 for example, but for librarianship it's never above say, an 8--and that's on the good days! The next and most recent calling is, of course, law enforcement, for which I have been tempted to forego librarianship completely many times. Still, all these things I believe that I truly excel at, so I consider them all callings.
3. Manage Time Well.
Osler always planned his days carefully, squeezing every minute he could out of them. I guess my attempt at this is that I do multi-task all the damn time and actually enjoy it. I get a kick out of doing 3-4 things at once at work, switching between them. Also, if you count reading books and magazines in the car at stop lights and in drive thru's managing time well then perhaps I'm great at this time management thing! Bottom line, I'm never bored and always have a shitload of reading to do, so my time is never truly wasted anywhere.
4. Be Positive.
Osler was an eternal optimist. My years in Mary Kay taught me the value of being positive b/c they simply don't allow you to be anything but! However, trying not to sound too much like Tony Robbins, I have seen with my own eyes the power of positive thinking. Even something as little as visualizing a parking space right up front, and it happens. For reals, it's almost voodoo-ish, try it! And of course, for the bigger things in life, religious faith has a lot to do with this too. But when I was younger and a heathen agnostic my version of this was that I succeeded b/c well, I was just better than you at it, and I knew it. I'm glad I've evolved beyond that to the truth, which is just like Mary Kay (or was it Zig Ziglar?) said, "If you can conceive it, and believe it, you can achieve it." It's hokey--but scarily true.
Part 2 and the remaining 4 lessons tomorrow. I'm off to a Hispanic Health Coalition Board Meeting.
1. Find Mentors.
Osler had several other physicians whom he admired and who helped him out, gave him a job, gave him access to their private libraries, whatever. Whenever I've met someone I greatly admire--ALWAYS an extremely accomplished individual--I have allowed them to influence me greatly both in work and in life. I've pretty much handed over to them the controls to my tender young mind and psyche, shut up, listened, observed, and did what they said to do, no questions asked. These include my high school viola teacher, Ms. Meitz; my high school orchestra conductor, Mr. Lantz; my college viola professor, Dr. Papich; my college orchestra conductor, Dr. Brusilow; and my library school professors, Dr. Ana and Dr. Totten, to name the most notable and the ones most responsible for me being where I am today. (Some of these people I was a little terrified of too, which I'm sure helped.)
2. Find a Calling.
Osler was going to go into religious work initially but then medicine caught his eye. He was torn between the 2 but ultimately of course, chose medicine. I've been lucky enough to enjoy several callings. Art was the first, but music was the second and the most intense. I'm not sure I would consider library science a calling b/c I don't feel the passion for it that I feel for my other callings. For music I feel passion always at a 10 for example, but for librarianship it's never above say, an 8--and that's on the good days! The next and most recent calling is, of course, law enforcement, for which I have been tempted to forego librarianship completely many times. Still, all these things I believe that I truly excel at, so I consider them all callings.
3. Manage Time Well.
Osler always planned his days carefully, squeezing every minute he could out of them. I guess my attempt at this is that I do multi-task all the damn time and actually enjoy it. I get a kick out of doing 3-4 things at once at work, switching between them. Also, if you count reading books and magazines in the car at stop lights and in drive thru's managing time well then perhaps I'm great at this time management thing! Bottom line, I'm never bored and always have a shitload of reading to do, so my time is never truly wasted anywhere.
4. Be Positive.
Osler was an eternal optimist. My years in Mary Kay taught me the value of being positive b/c they simply don't allow you to be anything but! However, trying not to sound too much like Tony Robbins, I have seen with my own eyes the power of positive thinking. Even something as little as visualizing a parking space right up front, and it happens. For reals, it's almost voodoo-ish, try it! And of course, for the bigger things in life, religious faith has a lot to do with this too. But when I was younger and a heathen agnostic my version of this was that I succeeded b/c well, I was just better than you at it, and I knew it. I'm glad I've evolved beyond that to the truth, which is just like Mary Kay (or was it Zig Ziglar?) said, "If you can conceive it, and believe it, you can achieve it." It's hokey--but scarily true.
Part 2 and the remaining 4 lessons tomorrow. I'm off to a Hispanic Health Coalition Board Meeting.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
I'm So Glad We Had This Time Together
I submitted my resignation letter to Job #2 a little while ago. The new Job #2, which I will be starting later this month, just gave me an offer I couldn't refuse. More money, more hours, flexible schedule, less than 6 miles from the house. The only thing I'm not getting is a damn company car! Yet, I do feel a little sad. My best friend here at Job #2 isn't even here right now so I can tell her (she's home sick). Dang, I'm gonna miss the books here! I LOVE being able to just pick an item off the shelf and go home with it to cuddle, no late fines to sully the relationship! But I'll have some good books at the new Job #2 to enjoy, I'm sure. The new Job #2 is at a business school library, and I get to do all the ordering ("collection development", in library-speak) and so I bet I can find some interesting business and money books to read!
Lord, have I had a busy past few days. Worked at the festival, providing security, for 2 nights. Had some fun with S and the baby. Saw some friends, ate some nice meals, got our cars back finally from the body shops! Oh man, the festival was fun and mostly mellow this year. S and the baby came with me on Saturday and ate dinner and the baby played on the kid rides in the kid section. I ate soooo much good food... Also for the first time in my law enforcement career I made somebody cry, and yes I feel bad about it in retrospect. But she shouldn't have disobeyed me! Cops HATE it when you don't do what we say, ok?!? This is how idiots get Tasered and shot. Cops are always, always, always erring on the side of our own safety. We are going to go home with the same amount of holes in our body that we started our shift with and if we don't know who the fuck you are and we have to take you out in order to do so, then that's the breaks, unfortunately. I don't know how much more I can stress this.
What happened was, I got assigned to work the "money hall." This is a long hallway leading to offices where the festival organizers keep all the cash. There is so much money back there that I don't even feel comfortable disclosing the amount here, so I will not. This is my 3rd year working the festival and in previous years when I've been assigned the money hall, I've been so bored all I do is doodle on scraps of paper. This year I came prepared with my book! (I held it on my lap under the table so no one could see I was reading although the Lt. caught me and said that was "smart" of me to bring some reading material [the incredible book and subsequent documentary, Maxed Out]. The money hall is usually slow, quiet, and boring though a highly essential duty.)
Anyway, the rule is, NO ONE goes down the money hall unless they have a black festival badge or a neon orange festival badge. Pretty simple, right? Let me repeat that: NO ONE, unless, BLACK BADGE, or NEON ORANGE. It's not fucking rocket science. I don't give a shit if you're Houston Mayor Bill White, you're not getting past me. So usually all the non-black/orange badgers are fine with me telling them they have to find other ways of getting to where they're trying to go, just not down this particular hallway. Well, I couldn't believe someone had the--I don't know what it was, ignorance? disrespect?--to ignore me. It was a Mexican woman custodian and she just waltzed past me like I wasn't there. I stopped her and asked for her badge. She said in broken English, "I'm working," and also told me in Spanish. I said what I'd already been telling everyone else, that she couldn't go down that hallway. She repeated that she was working and I repeated she still couldn't go down that hallway. She just turned and continued on and I jumped out of my chair, PISSED, and absolutely screamed at her. (Those of you who have seen me pissed and screaming know what a sight that is.) I screamed at her so loud the money people peeked out of their offices. Fortunately for her she finally turned and went out the other door, but glared at me as she left. Like I give a shit!
A minute later she appeared at the other end of the hallway, having found an alternate route in. That's ok, all that matters is she didn't get past me, so I did my job. Then she was talking to the head money lady and she was sobbing b/c of the mean bitchy cop that wouldn't let her past! Wah wah wah! So the head money lady came down the hallway to get my side of the story. I said that I had my orders (which were actually the orders from the money people themselves, right?) about the badge rules. She sighed and said that they have so many workers that if I had a question about anyone to just give her a call. Whatever. Later I told the Major himself about what happened and that I had made someone cry in the money hall. He said coldly, "So what?" I guess he's no stranger to making people cry!
Later that night I cried myself. I watched the movie Freedom Writers which I got from Netflix. When I got home after midnight S and the baby were both out like lights and I was still wired from working and having done the money drop to the night deposit box with shotguns and everything, so I watched the whole movie. At first I thought FW was just going to be another Stand and Deliver, Dangerous Minds, etc. And it is. But it has a different kind of twist! A very, very sweet, very touching one. Historic, even! I couldn't believe what those kids pulled off, and I had to research the true story for my own disbelieving eyes. Check it out if you haven't yet. (See, mean bitchy nazi cops have hearts too!)
The baby was pretty good this weekend, just a couple of minor infractions, for the most part easily remedied and corrected. One annoying thing she did on Sunday was cry 3 times! She rarely cries and I take special pride in her not being a damn crybaby like lots of other brats out there. But she must be in a new phase of trying this new bullshit stunt of crying when something tragic--to her--happens. For example, S accidentally returned one of the baby's own books to the church library along with the church's books. Waterworks! WTF?!?!? The 2nd time later that day that she cried over something bullshitty I knew this was some kind of new con of hers and I told S we did not need to be responding to it. The 3rd time she cried even later I was done and told her to knock it off. Now.
I had to take her back to the dentist yesterday b/c the composite resin he put on her decayed front tooth had apparently fallen off or been chipped off, or who knows. He said it's hard to get the composite to stick to the baby teeth. But he tried a new material and didn't even charge us for this visit. I texted the whore to let her know and told her dumb ass to try and keep the baby's teeth fixed this time, which she probably won't. Worthless whore. The baby was so good at the dentist afterwards we went to the Chirren's Museum and I let her run amok. She painted her own face--twice!
The day ended well with me going off to teach 1 entire person the Folk Remedies class at another local public library while R. went with S to drop off the baby. After that we all went for sushi, man oh man, at our long-lost favorite Osaka! I had leftovers today. Damn that's good stuff.
Lord, have I had a busy past few days. Worked at the festival, providing security, for 2 nights. Had some fun with S and the baby. Saw some friends, ate some nice meals, got our cars back finally from the body shops! Oh man, the festival was fun and mostly mellow this year. S and the baby came with me on Saturday and ate dinner and the baby played on the kid rides in the kid section. I ate soooo much good food... Also for the first time in my law enforcement career I made somebody cry, and yes I feel bad about it in retrospect. But she shouldn't have disobeyed me! Cops HATE it when you don't do what we say, ok?!? This is how idiots get Tasered and shot. Cops are always, always, always erring on the side of our own safety. We are going to go home with the same amount of holes in our body that we started our shift with and if we don't know who the fuck you are and we have to take you out in order to do so, then that's the breaks, unfortunately. I don't know how much more I can stress this.
What happened was, I got assigned to work the "money hall." This is a long hallway leading to offices where the festival organizers keep all the cash. There is so much money back there that I don't even feel comfortable disclosing the amount here, so I will not. This is my 3rd year working the festival and in previous years when I've been assigned the money hall, I've been so bored all I do is doodle on scraps of paper. This year I came prepared with my book! (I held it on my lap under the table so no one could see I was reading although the Lt. caught me and said that was "smart" of me to bring some reading material [the incredible book and subsequent documentary, Maxed Out]. The money hall is usually slow, quiet, and boring though a highly essential duty.)
Anyway, the rule is, NO ONE goes down the money hall unless they have a black festival badge or a neon orange festival badge. Pretty simple, right? Let me repeat that: NO ONE, unless, BLACK BADGE, or NEON ORANGE. It's not fucking rocket science. I don't give a shit if you're Houston Mayor Bill White, you're not getting past me. So usually all the non-black/orange badgers are fine with me telling them they have to find other ways of getting to where they're trying to go, just not down this particular hallway. Well, I couldn't believe someone had the--I don't know what it was, ignorance? disrespect?--to ignore me. It was a Mexican woman custodian and she just waltzed past me like I wasn't there. I stopped her and asked for her badge. She said in broken English, "I'm working," and also told me in Spanish. I said what I'd already been telling everyone else, that she couldn't go down that hallway. She repeated that she was working and I repeated she still couldn't go down that hallway. She just turned and continued on and I jumped out of my chair, PISSED, and absolutely screamed at her. (Those of you who have seen me pissed and screaming know what a sight that is.) I screamed at her so loud the money people peeked out of their offices. Fortunately for her she finally turned and went out the other door, but glared at me as she left. Like I give a shit!
A minute later she appeared at the other end of the hallway, having found an alternate route in. That's ok, all that matters is she didn't get past me, so I did my job. Then she was talking to the head money lady and she was sobbing b/c of the mean bitchy cop that wouldn't let her past! Wah wah wah! So the head money lady came down the hallway to get my side of the story. I said that I had my orders (which were actually the orders from the money people themselves, right?) about the badge rules. She sighed and said that they have so many workers that if I had a question about anyone to just give her a call. Whatever. Later I told the Major himself about what happened and that I had made someone cry in the money hall. He said coldly, "So what?" I guess he's no stranger to making people cry!
Later that night I cried myself. I watched the movie Freedom Writers which I got from Netflix. When I got home after midnight S and the baby were both out like lights and I was still wired from working and having done the money drop to the night deposit box with shotguns and everything, so I watched the whole movie. At first I thought FW was just going to be another Stand and Deliver, Dangerous Minds, etc. And it is. But it has a different kind of twist! A very, very sweet, very touching one. Historic, even! I couldn't believe what those kids pulled off, and I had to research the true story for my own disbelieving eyes. Check it out if you haven't yet. (See, mean bitchy nazi cops have hearts too!)
The baby was pretty good this weekend, just a couple of minor infractions, for the most part easily remedied and corrected. One annoying thing she did on Sunday was cry 3 times! She rarely cries and I take special pride in her not being a damn crybaby like lots of other brats out there. But she must be in a new phase of trying this new bullshit stunt of crying when something tragic--to her--happens. For example, S accidentally returned one of the baby's own books to the church library along with the church's books. Waterworks! WTF?!?!? The 2nd time later that day that she cried over something bullshitty I knew this was some kind of new con of hers and I told S we did not need to be responding to it. The 3rd time she cried even later I was done and told her to knock it off. Now.
I had to take her back to the dentist yesterday b/c the composite resin he put on her decayed front tooth had apparently fallen off or been chipped off, or who knows. He said it's hard to get the composite to stick to the baby teeth. But he tried a new material and didn't even charge us for this visit. I texted the whore to let her know and told her dumb ass to try and keep the baby's teeth fixed this time, which she probably won't. Worthless whore. The baby was so good at the dentist afterwards we went to the Chirren's Museum and I let her run amok. She painted her own face--twice!
The day ended well with me going off to teach 1 entire person the Folk Remedies class at another local public library while R. went with S to drop off the baby. After that we all went for sushi, man oh man, at our long-lost favorite Osaka! I had leftovers today. Damn that's good stuff.
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Intermediate Peace Officer Certificate
I've decided to go for my intermediate peace officer certificate. This is a huge undertaking. I will have to take 9 core classes, which include topics like Child Abuse, Crime Scene Search, Asset Forfeiture, Racial Profiling (no, not how to do it!), etc. This will take me at least a year, maybe more! It takes most officers many years to do it b/c you have to have either college hours associated with the certificate or years of service. Mudflap asks why I'm doing it, for the pay raise? Ha ha! Nah, I just like to achieve things, that's all. I'm your General Achiever!
Today I achieved a sore arm. I got my flu shot at the low, low price of $5. Job #2's administrative body was having a health fair for all the employees so even though I was just there last night I headed back today for the cheap flu shot. I also got animal crackers and a free pedometer and other giveaways for my trouble.
S says his car should be fixed and ready by Friday. I hope so!!! I am letting him continue to handle all this car repair/insurance crap b/c my face is still twitching though in lesser frequency. Tonight we go running with marathoner R. Ooh, my face just twitched thinking of it!!! Running, I hate you... but you are so good for me.
Today I achieved a sore arm. I got my flu shot at the low, low price of $5. Job #2's administrative body was having a health fair for all the employees so even though I was just there last night I headed back today for the cheap flu shot. I also got animal crackers and a free pedometer and other giveaways for my trouble.
S says his car should be fixed and ready by Friday. I hope so!!! I am letting him continue to handle all this car repair/insurance crap b/c my face is still twitching though in lesser frequency. Tonight we go running with marathoner R. Ooh, my face just twitched thinking of it!!! Running, I hate you... but you are so good for me.
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
And a Fight Breaks Out
I had a bizarro teaching experience last night. For 3 Mondays this month I got suckered into teaching a class I've never taught before, "Folk Remedies: What Does the Science Say?" which is a class on Complementary and Alternative Medicine Therapies. It is not my class but rather a class belonging to the National Library of Medicine's Regional Medical Libraries. It's a long story on how I got "picked" to be the one to teach this class, but whatever, who cares, it's another thing I can add to my resume. (Plus, I'm sort of into this topic lately on a personal note, what with the aromatherapy and all so it's a little fun and interesting for me.)
So last night, tired as I was from the incredibly busy weekend I had, I had to truck on out to the extreme west side of town to teach this class at a local public library. I had noticed earlier that the library hadn't even advertised my class on their website so I wondered if anyone would even show up at all, and consequently didn't feel too bad that I arrived at 6:01 pm for the 6pm class, har. One lady was in attendance, but another lady showed up late. Maybe because there were only 2 of them they saw no problem with freely inserting their own discussion, multiple questions, and debate into my presentation. But when the fight between them almost broke out, that's when it got truly interesting! I had just gone over the top 8 dietary supplements and what they are used for when the 2nd lady loudly declared that dietary supplements and herbs have NO side effects, like medications do (!). The other lady responded heatedly--and correctly, duh--that that was absolutely not true. They both had raised voices and were interrupting each other. Me and the staff librarian in attendance were watching it like a tennis match. I was hoping he'd take over and make them behave, but then I remembered this was MY class so I interrupted them as diplomatically as possible and forged ahead. When I came to the evidence showing how many serious side effects some of these herbs and dietary supp.'s indeed have, the 2nd lady actually quieted down. Finally!
It reminded me of when The Band played at Jack Ruby's club in Dallas back in the 60's, the Skylight Lounge, and there were literally 4-5 people in attendance. And a fight broke out! WTF?
Man, was this past weekend a doozy. I worked all day Saturday at the Latino Book and Family Festival. This festival is aging, and not well. Attendance, exhibitors, and enthusiasm were all way down from previous years. It didn't help that I spent a lot of time hiding behind my booth on the phone, catching up with J. Fu and L. I never have time to talk on the phone anymore, so I had the opportunity and I grabbed it! Sat. night S and I went to eat at a local Mediterranean restaurant near the house--yum! Plus I got to use my coupon there before it expired.
Sunday was back at the festival but only for a couple of hours. Then I raced home and Mudflap came to pick me up for yet another fun day of patrol at the Mexican Flea Market. I had threatened Mudflap that we were only going to stay out until about 8-ish. But now that it's getting darker sooner I couldn't resist staying out a little bit after that b/c that's when all the idiots with their stupid vehicles with the stupid blue undercarriage lights come out to play! I was handing out tickets like candy. My favorite one was the pinhead who had no license, no insurance, and claimed he couldn't afford insurance but was driving an obscene Ford F-150 with tons of blue lights all over it. I should've towed his dumb ass, but wrote him 3 tickets instead and made his friend who had a license drive him home "right now!!!" Merry Christmas, jerky!
As I told S yesterday, the FlakeFest continues with this other p/t job that I recently interviewed for. Now we are playing phone tag with each other. The guy called me from his cell phone on Monday and left a message when I was gone for lunch. I used a strategy of waiting a few hours to call him back. But before I could do that he tried calling me again when I stepped out for a few minutes to make copies! So I called him right back--and he voicemailed me. D'oh! I left him a message but today he did not call me back, that I know of. But I've been gone most of the day, having left work early. Anyway, here tonight at Job #2 I got my annual evaluation. (I didn't even know they evaluated p/t employees, but whatever.) And my ratings were darn good and they also told me I was doing a "great" job. I even got an "Outstanding" rating on one category! For some strange reason, they even evaluated me as "always being on time" which is so not true on Saturdays, hee hee! Ah well, they know I'm a solid worker and an exceptional librarian, thank you very much.
The rest of this week is more of the same: work and then more work. I am working at the Greek Festival Thursday night and Saturday night, 4pm-midnight. It's a lot of hot, outside, sweaty work, but the (free) food definitely makes up for it! Plus it is fun to stand around and bullshit with my other deputy friends that I don't get to see very often. I am taking S and the baby with me on Saturday so she can play in the kids' playground section.
So last night, tired as I was from the incredibly busy weekend I had, I had to truck on out to the extreme west side of town to teach this class at a local public library. I had noticed earlier that the library hadn't even advertised my class on their website so I wondered if anyone would even show up at all, and consequently didn't feel too bad that I arrived at 6:01 pm for the 6pm class, har. One lady was in attendance, but another lady showed up late. Maybe because there were only 2 of them they saw no problem with freely inserting their own discussion, multiple questions, and debate into my presentation. But when the fight between them almost broke out, that's when it got truly interesting! I had just gone over the top 8 dietary supplements and what they are used for when the 2nd lady loudly declared that dietary supplements and herbs have NO side effects, like medications do (!). The other lady responded heatedly--and correctly, duh--that that was absolutely not true. They both had raised voices and were interrupting each other. Me and the staff librarian in attendance were watching it like a tennis match. I was hoping he'd take over and make them behave, but then I remembered this was MY class so I interrupted them as diplomatically as possible and forged ahead. When I came to the evidence showing how many serious side effects some of these herbs and dietary supp.'s indeed have, the 2nd lady actually quieted down. Finally!
It reminded me of when The Band played at Jack Ruby's club in Dallas back in the 60's, the Skylight Lounge, and there were literally 4-5 people in attendance. And a fight broke out! WTF?
Man, was this past weekend a doozy. I worked all day Saturday at the Latino Book and Family Festival. This festival is aging, and not well. Attendance, exhibitors, and enthusiasm were all way down from previous years. It didn't help that I spent a lot of time hiding behind my booth on the phone, catching up with J. Fu and L. I never have time to talk on the phone anymore, so I had the opportunity and I grabbed it! Sat. night S and I went to eat at a local Mediterranean restaurant near the house--yum! Plus I got to use my coupon there before it expired.
Sunday was back at the festival but only for a couple of hours. Then I raced home and Mudflap came to pick me up for yet another fun day of patrol at the Mexican Flea Market. I had threatened Mudflap that we were only going to stay out until about 8-ish. But now that it's getting darker sooner I couldn't resist staying out a little bit after that b/c that's when all the idiots with their stupid vehicles with the stupid blue undercarriage lights come out to play! I was handing out tickets like candy. My favorite one was the pinhead who had no license, no insurance, and claimed he couldn't afford insurance but was driving an obscene Ford F-150 with tons of blue lights all over it. I should've towed his dumb ass, but wrote him 3 tickets instead and made his friend who had a license drive him home "right now!!!" Merry Christmas, jerky!
As I told S yesterday, the FlakeFest continues with this other p/t job that I recently interviewed for. Now we are playing phone tag with each other. The guy called me from his cell phone on Monday and left a message when I was gone for lunch. I used a strategy of waiting a few hours to call him back. But before I could do that he tried calling me again when I stepped out for a few minutes to make copies! So I called him right back--and he voicemailed me. D'oh! I left him a message but today he did not call me back, that I know of. But I've been gone most of the day, having left work early. Anyway, here tonight at Job #2 I got my annual evaluation. (I didn't even know they evaluated p/t employees, but whatever.) And my ratings were darn good and they also told me I was doing a "great" job. I even got an "Outstanding" rating on one category! For some strange reason, they even evaluated me as "always being on time" which is so not true on Saturdays, hee hee! Ah well, they know I'm a solid worker and an exceptional librarian, thank you very much.
The rest of this week is more of the same: work and then more work. I am working at the Greek Festival Thursday night and Saturday night, 4pm-midnight. It's a lot of hot, outside, sweaty work, but the (free) food definitely makes up for it! Plus it is fun to stand around and bullshit with my other deputy friends that I don't get to see very often. I am taking S and the baby with me on Saturday so she can play in the kids' playground section.
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