Leo was admitted to the hospital on Sunday w/"liver failure", so our rehearsal was cancelled. I went on Tues to see him, as he was in St. Luke's right down the street from Job #1. He told me they found a growth blocking his bile duct (I think) so they put a stent in and did a biopsy. We were to get the results of the biopsy on Weds. Apparently with chronic pancreatitis, as he has, cysts are very common and since he was just hospitalized in April w/pancreatitis I figured that's what was going on here. I found it hard to believe a cancerous tumor could grow that fast.
I was so wrong. On Weds. we found out Leo has Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer. This is the worst possible diagnosis and now that I have done my research on the subject, PC is knows as a "silent killer" as it grows fast and there is no diagnostic test for it. Stage 4 is inoperable--in fact, only the early stage is operable but it is rarely found that soon. All they can do is hit it with the hardest chemo hits possible, so they will begin chemo next Weds. I went and saw Leo again yesterday and he was supposed to be discharged after they inserted a chemo button in his chest.
We are going to do our gig tomorrow; Leo is determined to do it and it will help take his (and our) minds off things. As far as the rest of the Saturday gigs in October we will just have to wait and see how Leo feels, mostly. A lot of people are coming out as the news has spread fast. I for one have been very distracted and finding it hard to concentrate but I still promised Paul I'd play the gig fine on Weds. and that did go all right. It was a fun gig/bday party and a good crowd. In fact Paul asked me to join his band permanently and I said yes. Then he, Chopper and I went out drinking and went to Chopper's pad for beer, smokes, and music and I didn't get home til 6am. You gotta bond w/your bandmates!
People are texting me and sending me FB messages saying they're sorry about Leo. I have asked everyone to pray hard and often. I am doing the same. I am trying to work my program and hand my worries about Leo over to God and Jesus. I did get some nice advice from a friend today to tell Leo to get a veggie juicer and veggie it up! So I am going to just go buy him a veggie juicer tonite after Job #2. I feel so helpless and this is what I can do for him right now. And pray.
Talks of a benefit for Leo are already underway. I saw that Jon had the nerve to offer to help (after all the shit-talking he's done about Leo's playing) but I don't care. I'm not going to waste my time being angry or bitter at anyone. Today a hater sent me a FB msg saying she wanted to extend an olive branch and hoped I would accept. Of course I did, and responded as much. She sent me a friend request and I accepted. I just want to focus on peace and love and goodness and hope. I slept 9 hrs last nite instead of going out and I'm not sure I feel up to going out tonite. I want to spend time with my cat and rest up b/c I am scared I don't take as good care of my body as I should and yes, Leo's situation is a wake-up call. I think I should stay home tonite, rest, journal, work on my program readings, cry if I need to, pray, and get a good night's sleep as tomorrow is a long day.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Lotta Giggin'
Man, I have just become so BUSY lately w/gigging and it's sooooo great. It makes me happy and although it makes me exhausted I am also excited and having a great time and got butterflies in my stomach and it's just good for me. I love love love playing w/Paul and "Chopper" (formerly known in this blog as LDB aka Little Drummer Boy) and they are in bassist audition mode right now but I don't care, I've been playing with them for 2 weeks now and I played last night with them, will play on Saturday night with them, and on Sunday night. It's so fun and I just love the heck out of them and I hope they like my bass playing too but of course I'm not that sure so we'll just see. I'm really just enjoying it while it lasts.
Meanwhile I gigged w/Leo last Sat., and have Saturday gigs w/him every Saturday in October except for the 29th. This is fun too, just b/c it's fun to get onstage and I'm really liking what Leo is doing lately, guitar-wise. George is the same as ever so that's a given and I'm just gonna have to work with that.
I don't know what my musical future is after the Paul and Leo gigs are done. I am still rehearsing w/J.Fu on Sundays and we've done a few open mic's and we're really getting our set list solid and down, so I guess that's what will happen, we'll start gigging with our duo act and that'll be great too. It's just that we're starting from scratch and so it'll be some work to get those first gigs booked, but I just hand it all over to God and Jesus and let them get 'er done.
Still working my program as much as I can, in my limited conscience time but I know I need it b/c being onstage and gigging and being surrounded by men and men musicians is QUITE triggering. I've been doing ok though I accidentally slipped and flirted last night for a brief second, dammit. Also it was not good to be in the hotel room at 1am on Sun morning of my friend from college, a drummer who tours with Frankie Valli (yes THE Frankie Valli) but I was only there for 45 min and then got the hell out. Of course he sent me some flirtatious texts as I was leaving but I just responded politely and got home safe and sound.
My aunt told me that Jon told my uncle he made a mistake and wishes he could get back together with me. That makes me feel nothing really, not even numb. I just don't want anything to do with him anymore. I want to work my program, get healthy, work on me, and then let God bring the right person for me when it's time.
Looking forward to the gig tonite though I'm a tad nervous b/c it'll be recorded, audio and video, and there's still some parts of the songs I just don't have DOWN yet. Some of the songs are complicated and I have to have charts and I've been studying and studying them on YouTube and even bought 1 on iTunes but I just need to keep playing them and playing them. Oh well, Carol Burnett said you always need to be a little nervous before performing. I just pray that I will do my best, that's all I can ever do.
Meanwhile I gigged w/Leo last Sat., and have Saturday gigs w/him every Saturday in October except for the 29th. This is fun too, just b/c it's fun to get onstage and I'm really liking what Leo is doing lately, guitar-wise. George is the same as ever so that's a given and I'm just gonna have to work with that.
I don't know what my musical future is after the Paul and Leo gigs are done. I am still rehearsing w/J.Fu on Sundays and we've done a few open mic's and we're really getting our set list solid and down, so I guess that's what will happen, we'll start gigging with our duo act and that'll be great too. It's just that we're starting from scratch and so it'll be some work to get those first gigs booked, but I just hand it all over to God and Jesus and let them get 'er done.
Still working my program as much as I can, in my limited conscience time but I know I need it b/c being onstage and gigging and being surrounded by men and men musicians is QUITE triggering. I've been doing ok though I accidentally slipped and flirted last night for a brief second, dammit. Also it was not good to be in the hotel room at 1am on Sun morning of my friend from college, a drummer who tours with Frankie Valli (yes THE Frankie Valli) but I was only there for 45 min and then got the hell out. Of course he sent me some flirtatious texts as I was leaving but I just responded politely and got home safe and sound.
My aunt told me that Jon told my uncle he made a mistake and wishes he could get back together with me. That makes me feel nothing really, not even numb. I just don't want anything to do with him anymore. I want to work my program, get healthy, work on me, and then let God bring the right person for me when it's time.
Looking forward to the gig tonite though I'm a tad nervous b/c it'll be recorded, audio and video, and there's still some parts of the songs I just don't have DOWN yet. Some of the songs are complicated and I have to have charts and I've been studying and studying them on YouTube and even bought 1 on iTunes but I just need to keep playing them and playing them. Oh well, Carol Burnett said you always need to be a little nervous before performing. I just pray that I will do my best, that's all I can ever do.
Friday, September 09, 2011
KILLER Labor Day Memphis Wkend. Killer!
Wow, what a great time in Memphis last Thurs-this Mon with Catyaq. Hot. Damn! I packed a lotta living into 5 fun days! And it was SO great to get away. Just what the head Dr. ordered. In short I:
Thurs: Was whisked from the Little Rock, AR airport (b/c Southwest doesn't fly to Memphis--what!) to my friends' gig in Memphis at a great little place not even that far from Catyaq's house! We had fried cheese, fried mushrooms, I drank 4 Crowns and Diet Coke (hey I sweated most of it out!) and sat in twice, sang, the whole shmear. I met tons of people, made tons of new friends, tons of pic's were taken, I handed out my business cards left and right, people said they'd put me to work in Memphis and I am praying they do!!!
Fri: Slept late, ahhh, then Catyaq picked me up for lunch and we grubbed seriously at the Flying Saucer. She dropped me off at Target so I could buy some necessities and I had a nice walk from Target around the corner back to her house. I went to the pool and she later joined me when she got off work. Then we went to Wild Bill's juke joint, a totally fun and awesomely down home place! It was the real deal! I got to sit in with the house band, the Soul Survivors, including Archie Turner, Cyndi Lauper's keyboardist on her latest blues album tour!!! We were there til 3 a.m.
Sat: Slept late, ahhh, then I wanted to go eat at Gus' World Famous Fried Chicken as my Houston blues peeps that are in the know have RAVED about it. We had to wait a damn hour but it was quite worth it. Oh quite. Cheap food, hot and plenny of it! W/brownie ala mode after! And a souvenir take-home tumbler to go (I LOVE those things)!
Mosey'd on over to nearby Beale St., walked up and down, took in the sights, took pic's, did some souvenir shopping (I got a cheesy flying-V lighter, yuk yuk) plus my requisite fridge magnet, then it was time to cool off w/drinks at the Peabody hotel lobby bar. It was tres elegant! They brought us snacks and we had wine and it was DIVINE.
Ended the evening on Beale at Silky O'Sullivan's where I drank something called a Silky's cupcake or a Beale St. cupcake or sumpin, but we had to leave b/c the band, while great (including a 7-string bassist!) was totally cover-bandy and cheesy and I couldn't take it after having experienced the pure and beautiful blues rawness of Wild Bill's the night before! B.B. King's had the same cheesiness factor although we did befriend a bartender there. So then we actually headed out and were home by close to midnight which was fine b/c I was ready to just lie down and rest, get some beauty sleep.
Sun: Slept late, ahhh, and it was a rainy, much cooler day. We attempted to eat at the Rendezvous but it's closed on Sun's and Mon's so we went to Blues City Cafe instead which had great ribs! Then we went to Sun Studio, where I'd never actually been (only been outside and it was closed due to inclement icy/cold weather when I was there w/my ex, M., in 2002)! Oh, what a great time. They have a buy 3-get 1 free t-shirt deal, so since I had to buy 3 t's for people mine was essentially free! Being in the studio was amazing. We took tons of pic's natch. It felt holy in there. AWESOME.
Then I actually got to attend a Memphis SLAA meeting, my 1st co-ed but it was fine. I was grateful for the opportunity, believe me.
We wanted dessert after my meeting so we went to Mud Island, specifically the Cafe Eclectic so I could have a cupcake and an apple cider w/whipped cream! We were on our way to West Memphis to see my friend's gig at the Greyhound racetrack, yuk yuk! I hate to gamble but I was convinced to sign up for a free $20 gaming card ("Hey, it's free money!") so I did and after several games I ended up winning a total of $23 on the penny slots so I stopped there, bought 1 drink, then we left after our friends' 1st set in search of fried cheese. We went back to Memphis and tried the Buccaneer but it was just a bar, so we ended up at Huey's where there was a decent blues band playing and most importantly--they had killer fried cheese AND tato skins on the menu! Grub time!!! I asked the band if I could sit in and they were friendly to me, saying "maybe", but after waiting 2 sets it got to be extremely freezing inside the restaurant and Catyaq and I ended up first going outside w/our drinks, then just taking off with them, getting in the car, turning the heat on, and going home! Yuk yuk!
Mon: Got up early to pack and go eat at the Arcade Restaurant, where Jim Jarmusch filmed a scene from one of my fave movies, Mystery Train! We grubbed HARD: chicken fried steak w/eggs and hot chocolate. I took a pic across the street in front of what I believe to be the hotel in the film (will have to confirm but pretty sure), then we headed to the Stax Museum. Boy, if I thought Sun Studio was awesome, Stax also made me equally emotional. It was a beautiful experience I had there as well. Many many pics taken! Then, it was time to drive back to Little Rock so I could catch my 4:30pm flight home.
Whatta weekend. I would love to consider Memphis to be my new home away from home, and with Catyaq's 2-bedroom apt., it is the perfect setup too! I can't wait to return. I have no free weekends until November, but I would love to return again before the end of the year.
Had a great time this past Weds. night, I got called at the last minute to play w/my friends (incl. LDB) at their weekly gig at the Continental Club and although we played to 10 1/2 people, I loved being onstage and we had lots of fun and I got free drinks and my friend took tons of pic's w/my iPhone. After that we ran over to an open mic and I did 3 of my new songs and I killed there! So much fun!
Tonight I'll be going to see Papa Grows Funk and that will be a killer good time w/Bon. (In fact we, meaning my friends I gigged w/on Weds., ALMOST got the opening set gig tonite! Oh well, maybe next time!) Gettin there early for dinner--mmmmm, cheese enchiladas!
Thurs: Was whisked from the Little Rock, AR airport (b/c Southwest doesn't fly to Memphis--what!) to my friends' gig in Memphis at a great little place not even that far from Catyaq's house! We had fried cheese, fried mushrooms, I drank 4 Crowns and Diet Coke (hey I sweated most of it out!) and sat in twice, sang, the whole shmear. I met tons of people, made tons of new friends, tons of pic's were taken, I handed out my business cards left and right, people said they'd put me to work in Memphis and I am praying they do!!!
Fri: Slept late, ahhh, then Catyaq picked me up for lunch and we grubbed seriously at the Flying Saucer. She dropped me off at Target so I could buy some necessities and I had a nice walk from Target around the corner back to her house. I went to the pool and she later joined me when she got off work. Then we went to Wild Bill's juke joint, a totally fun and awesomely down home place! It was the real deal! I got to sit in with the house band, the Soul Survivors, including Archie Turner, Cyndi Lauper's keyboardist on her latest blues album tour!!! We were there til 3 a.m.
Sat: Slept late, ahhh, then I wanted to go eat at Gus' World Famous Fried Chicken as my Houston blues peeps that are in the know have RAVED about it. We had to wait a damn hour but it was quite worth it. Oh quite. Cheap food, hot and plenny of it! W/brownie ala mode after! And a souvenir take-home tumbler to go (I LOVE those things)!
Mosey'd on over to nearby Beale St., walked up and down, took in the sights, took pic's, did some souvenir shopping (I got a cheesy flying-V lighter, yuk yuk) plus my requisite fridge magnet, then it was time to cool off w/drinks at the Peabody hotel lobby bar. It was tres elegant! They brought us snacks and we had wine and it was DIVINE.
Ended the evening on Beale at Silky O'Sullivan's where I drank something called a Silky's cupcake or a Beale St. cupcake or sumpin, but we had to leave b/c the band, while great (including a 7-string bassist!) was totally cover-bandy and cheesy and I couldn't take it after having experienced the pure and beautiful blues rawness of Wild Bill's the night before! B.B. King's had the same cheesiness factor although we did befriend a bartender there. So then we actually headed out and were home by close to midnight which was fine b/c I was ready to just lie down and rest, get some beauty sleep.
Sun: Slept late, ahhh, and it was a rainy, much cooler day. We attempted to eat at the Rendezvous but it's closed on Sun's and Mon's so we went to Blues City Cafe instead which had great ribs! Then we went to Sun Studio, where I'd never actually been (only been outside and it was closed due to inclement icy/cold weather when I was there w/my ex, M., in 2002)! Oh, what a great time. They have a buy 3-get 1 free t-shirt deal, so since I had to buy 3 t's for people mine was essentially free! Being in the studio was amazing. We took tons of pic's natch. It felt holy in there. AWESOME.
Then I actually got to attend a Memphis SLAA meeting, my 1st co-ed but it was fine. I was grateful for the opportunity, believe me.
We wanted dessert after my meeting so we went to Mud Island, specifically the Cafe Eclectic so I could have a cupcake and an apple cider w/whipped cream! We were on our way to West Memphis to see my friend's gig at the Greyhound racetrack, yuk yuk! I hate to gamble but I was convinced to sign up for a free $20 gaming card ("Hey, it's free money!") so I did and after several games I ended up winning a total of $23 on the penny slots so I stopped there, bought 1 drink, then we left after our friends' 1st set in search of fried cheese. We went back to Memphis and tried the Buccaneer but it was just a bar, so we ended up at Huey's where there was a decent blues band playing and most importantly--they had killer fried cheese AND tato skins on the menu! Grub time!!! I asked the band if I could sit in and they were friendly to me, saying "maybe", but after waiting 2 sets it got to be extremely freezing inside the restaurant and Catyaq and I ended up first going outside w/our drinks, then just taking off with them, getting in the car, turning the heat on, and going home! Yuk yuk!
Mon: Got up early to pack and go eat at the Arcade Restaurant, where Jim Jarmusch filmed a scene from one of my fave movies, Mystery Train! We grubbed HARD: chicken fried steak w/eggs and hot chocolate. I took a pic across the street in front of what I believe to be the hotel in the film (will have to confirm but pretty sure), then we headed to the Stax Museum. Boy, if I thought Sun Studio was awesome, Stax also made me equally emotional. It was a beautiful experience I had there as well. Many many pics taken! Then, it was time to drive back to Little Rock so I could catch my 4:30pm flight home.
Whatta weekend. I would love to consider Memphis to be my new home away from home, and with Catyaq's 2-bedroom apt., it is the perfect setup too! I can't wait to return. I have no free weekends until November, but I would love to return again before the end of the year.
Had a great time this past Weds. night, I got called at the last minute to play w/my friends (incl. LDB) at their weekly gig at the Continental Club and although we played to 10 1/2 people, I loved being onstage and we had lots of fun and I got free drinks and my friend took tons of pic's w/my iPhone. After that we ran over to an open mic and I did 3 of my new songs and I killed there! So much fun!
Tonight I'll be going to see Papa Grows Funk and that will be a killer good time w/Bon. (In fact we, meaning my friends I gigged w/on Weds., ALMOST got the opening set gig tonite! Oh well, maybe next time!) Gettin there early for dinner--mmmmm, cheese enchiladas!
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