Lotta Giggin'

Man, I have just become so BUSY lately w/gigging and it's sooooo great. It makes me happy and although it makes me exhausted I am also excited and having a great time and got butterflies in my stomach and it's just good for me. I love love love playing w/Paul and "Chopper" (formerly known in this blog as LDB aka Little Drummer Boy) and they are in bassist audition mode right now but I don't care, I've been playing with them for 2 weeks now and I played last night with them, will play on Saturday night with them, and on Sunday night. It's so fun and I just love the heck out of them and I hope they like my bass playing too but of course I'm not that sure so we'll just see. I'm really just enjoying it while it lasts.

Meanwhile I gigged w/Leo last Sat., and have Saturday gigs w/him every Saturday in October except for the 29th. This is fun too, just b/c it's fun to get onstage and I'm really liking what Leo is doing lately, guitar-wise. George is the same as ever so that's a given and I'm just gonna have to work with that.

I don't know what my musical future is after the Paul and Leo gigs are done. I am still rehearsing w/J.Fu on Sundays and we've done a few open mic's and we're really getting our set list solid and down, so I guess that's what will happen, we'll start gigging with our duo act and that'll be great too. It's just that we're starting from scratch and so it'll be some work to get those first gigs booked, but I just hand it all over to God and Jesus and let them get 'er done.

Still working my program as much as I can, in my limited conscience time but I know I need it b/c being onstage and gigging and being surrounded by men and men musicians is QUITE triggering. I've been doing ok though I accidentally slipped and flirted last night for a brief second, dammit. Also it was not good to be in the hotel room at 1am on Sun morning of my friend from college, a drummer who tours with Frankie Valli (yes THE Frankie Valli) but I was only there for 45 min and then got the hell out. Of course he sent me some flirtatious texts as I was leaving but I just responded politely and got home safe and sound.

My aunt told me that Jon told my uncle he made a mistake and wishes he could get back together with me. That makes me feel nothing really, not even numb. I just don't want anything to do with him anymore. I want to work my program, get healthy, work on me, and then let God bring the right person for me when it's time.

Looking forward to the gig tonite though I'm a tad nervous b/c it'll be recorded, audio and video, and there's still some parts of the songs I just don't have DOWN yet. Some of the songs are complicated and I have to have charts and I've been studying and studying them on YouTube and even bought 1 on iTunes but I just need to keep playing them and playing them. Oh well, Carol Burnett said you always need to be a little nervous before performing. I just pray that I will do my best, that's all I can ever do.