Treasure In, Garbage Out

I regret titling the blog post that b/c of what I'm about to write about but I feel I have been left no choice. I am happy that yesterday's 1st blog post of the year was so happy and fun-filled and hopefully that reflects my optimistic outlook which I am going to adopt from here on out, just as J2 has committed to doing. I think it says a lot that all I wrote about yesterday was happy, joyful stuff--that that's what is totally overshadowing any bad stuff currently going on in my life and it is doing so magnificently and effortlessly.

So what happened was, last Weds. afternoon I found out that I have no best friend/sister in R. anymore. In fact, I have completely stricken her from my life forever as far as I'm concerned. The last time I saw her was at my gig, the one Stefano came to. She brought her husband and then sent me a nice text message the next day. I saw some Facebook status updates throughout the rest of the month, and then all of a sudden I noticed that she was no longer my FB friend. I knew she had a FB hacker get into her account so I assumed somehow I was accidently unfriended and I re-friended her. I tried to call her last Monday morning, knowing she'd be off work and watching cartoons and did not hear back from her. Meanwhile I saw her posting things on FB on our mutual friends' pages, so I knew she had to have seen my re-friend request. I sent her a message thru FB telling her I'd been trying to contact her, and was she avoiding me? I was only 1/2-kidding. But she sent back a message saying "Yes, actually."

I immediately responded asking why, was she going to tell me or was she just going to continue to avoid me and the situation??? While waiting for her response I tried to call her husband whose voicemail I got. I called my mom to ask her to call R. on my behalf and try to find out what's going on. I called Tito J. and asked him to do the same thing. I wracked my brain trying to figure out what the hell I had done to her (since my gig) and could come up with nothing! Awhile later she wrote back that I am "out of control" and while she still loves me, she cannot pretend to "condone my behavior" any longer. I. Was. Flabbergasted!!!!!!!!!! Then I was pissed. And offended at her junior-high, passive-aggressive behavior. I wanted to reply back that I'm sure my lifestyle seems out of control in comparison to her boring, married old existence which revolves around her fat, boring engineer husband, cat, 2 dogs, and 2 guinea pigs!!! But I didn't. I responded that in the words of Dave Barry, everyone is entitled to their opinion and hers is wrong. I pointed out that I am happier now than I have been in years and I'm sorry she feels that way and that someday if she ever decides to try and fix this, it will be a tough fix indeed. I ended with "Fine. Goodbye!" She had to have the final word of course, and responded that all she did was voice her opinion which I "forced" her to do. Oh my God. That deserves absolutely no response and I realized that I don't need her in my life anymore if this is how she's going to be, and obviously she is.

I FB-unfriended her husband and another friend that is really her friend. I untagged the photos of her in my photo albums. I deleted her stupid dog blog link off my blog here. I removed her from 2 of my FB fan pages as I don't need her "fan-dom". I told my mom, Tito J., my brother, J.Fu, DA, and Stefano what had happened. Everyone said fine, be done with her! which kind of shocked and surprised me, that they would all be so lackadaisical about me losing my best friend/sister. But Stefano reminded me of the Serenity Prayer and although this hurts me/pisses me off, there truly is no point in wasting my time lamenting over this at all. Because my #1 NY's resolution is to continue to have as much fun as is humanly possible, and R. is just no fun at all anymore and also wants to be, as Tito J. put it, "Judgey McJudgey." I mean shit, I could've done the exact same thing to her: "Well R., since you never want to go anywhere anymore or do anything fun anymore and you're in bed by 9pm every night, I can't condone your lifestyle or your behavior any longer and I'm done with you!!!"

So yeah, I had already decided to do this during the course of my divorce process but it just bears reminding and that is to not let ANYONE be in my life that does not deserve to be there. And my #2 NY's resolution is to not do anything that I don't want to do, such as feel obligated to do anything or go anywhere or hang out with anyone I don't really want to! I think with those 2 resolutions I can't go wrong in life, for real.

Tonight I am looking forward to going to buy a coat rack to put by the door. I got a lot done yesterday hanging out at my house--threw away a bunch of crap, recycled a bunch more. I took the TV rolling cart from the 2nd bedroom upstairs downstairs to the dining room and turned it into a liquor cart, heh heh. I need more liquor to put on it though, some more wine, etc! At the risk of seeming "out of control" and a danger to myself and others or WHATEVER.