Mood: Angsty

One of my friends is having a breast cancer scare. One of my other friends' grandmother died yesterday. And I have been in constant communication with both of them and I just feel all bummed and angsty. Because I am feeling very fragile these days too, due to problems with S, financial woes, and now this bullshit transferring procedure that I am having to deal with.

I spent a good part of yesterday trying to track down a new marriage counselor. I had to find a woman, but not an old woman per S's request (he doesn't want "old school" but prefers someone with "fresh ideas"). Then it had to be someone who accepts my insurance. Then it had to be someone who was hopefully pretty close to either home or Job #2 and it also had to be someone who has appointments after 6pm so S can go when he gets off work. Someone that operates from a Christian standpoint would have been nice, but I had to let something go or I was never gonna find someone. It took hours to find someone and I finally found someone who fits all those requirements, but I am a little worried b/c she seems like she might be a little too liberal for S, seeing as how she also treats GLBT folks and is into art therapy as well. But that's the best I could do for now; I have a totally open mind and I figure she might be able to help us regardless of her personal viewpoints. Now we'll just have to wait and see if S likes her or not. We see her next Weds. night.

Mudflap is also quite frustrated with S. S made him mad the other morning when they were talking and S expressed that he was worried that my recent dog-bite-incident-transfer-situation might reflect badly on him and his pending application to the Reserves. Mudflap felt that S was acting selfishly and kept trying to reassure S that my situation had nothing to do with him. But, as we all know, sometimes S does not listen to reason.

S had yesterday off from work too, which was 2 days in a row which has never happened. He went up north to have lunch with the baby at school and then just stayed there in The Shitslands to fart around with 2 of his buddies. Having 2 days off means his next paycheck will be even less than usual. I didn't even see him last night as I was already in bed when he got home. Tonight however, he wants to go see The Wrestler. Although we typically go see movies at matinee times, I agreed b/c otherwise there is no good time to go see it since we have the baby this weekend. I'm excited b/c we're going to go see it on the big screen at the River Oaks (where I saw Milk the other night, except Milk was on one of the smaller screens, boo).

Trying to keep it together, trying to think positively, trying not to crack.