Adela Throws a Fit

These past few days have not been filled with shining moments for me. Or by me. I pretty much cried for 2 days straight: on Sunday at church when S went down the aisle to the preacher so they could pray together; on Monday morning before I threw an absolute fit at the collision shop; and Monday afternoon after I got home from the collision shop.

I was just so pissed. I was pissed at S for changing the insurance claim so he could get his car involved and therefore, fixed. I was pissed that he was altering the story and therefore, potentially making me change my story, should I ever have to revisit it. Those poor people at the collision shop! They were trying to be so nice b/c they knew I was on the verge of blowing (although they had no idea why b/c S did not tell them what had really happened) and gave me a Dodge Neon to drive, "Blue, just like your car!" Then I went outside and threw my purse down on the ground and keys and everything, slammed car doors, yelling, crying, the whole works. I drove off in a furious puff of smoke, leaving S there to apologize for my behavior and figure out what he was going to do about his car. In the end he drove his car back home b/c I refused to allow him to leave his car at the same collision shop. I just knew we were going to be under suspicion of possible insurance fraud and I would lose my badge over this and so I was not about to have both cars left at the same location!!!

The other glitch of the day is that we had to get S in somewhere to see a doctor and his work was refusing to honor his injury as workman's comp related, even though it is. So since I'd already forced S to call his POS mom so she could pay for his part of the insurance deductible and other related costs, he asked her to also pay the $75 doctor's fee and she agreed. At least I got to call in sick for the day since spouses' illnesses/injuries can come out of your own sick leave at Job #1, which is a nice perk for us married types. I was very mentally disturbed myself as it was, so somehow, some way I needed to take a sick day!

Then, to top off the day, I had to go to my monthly sheriff's meeting. My Sgt. wanted me to go to the Hard Rock with him afterwards, and even offered to spot me since I told him I was broke. But I couldn't. I was too wiped out from the weekend and my eyes were too tired from crying. I know he wanted to talk b/c he's apparently going through some tough times too, but I hugged him (he's a sucker for me) and asked for a rain check. I had to get home and collapse.

At least this weekend the baby was well-behaved, though I really only got to see her on Sunday since she passed out early Saturday evening, not long after I got home from Job #2. We had an unpleasant experience picking her up on Friday though and also dropping her off b/c we had to deal with dickhead both times. Every time I see him I feel truly homicidal, so much so that I shake with hatred and anger. He had the nerve to try to talk to us, but S seems to think that dickhead knows I have a temper, so he talks to us to try to piss me off. So I just need to not show any response at all. The whore also texted us some absolute bullshit, to which we did not respond either.

No word back yet from the other job I applied for, so it's been 2 full business days that they've had to think over my offer. I don't even care anymore. If I have to stay here at Job #2 there are worse things that could happen. I would miss my friends here and the public library setting, although we have been incredibly busy tonight and I have had to speak Spanish at least a dozen times so far!!! But it's been good to be busy and get my mind off things. I am going out of my way above and beyond to help people b/c I figure if I feel so shitty right now, at least maybe I can help someone else and make them feel better. Normally when all these Spanish-speakers come in I internally roll my eyes at them for not having the gumption to learn English. But tonight this man came in with his son and they were making a flyer for their yardwork business. It was a sad little flyer and I insisted on fixing the spelling on their English words, and then I really got into it, doing fonts and spacings and even convinced him to add some little graphics. I spiced that thing up! I admire entrepreneurs, even if they do need to get with the program and learn some freakin' English.

I tried to cheer myself up last night by listening to Roy D. Mercer. It did work for a little while! But I won't be better until this facial twitch and the heavy sighing go away. I'm also tired of getting pulled over, which happened AGAIN tonight! The blue Dodge Neon has an expired sticker on it. I badged out, but I am going to complain to the collision shop anyway. Anyone else probably would've gotten a ticket and that is not cool!!!

Literary note: Am currently reading Lance Armstrong's It's Not About the Bike. This is b/c we watched You, Me and Dupree a couple of weekends ago. (If you don't know what I mean, watch the movie; it's not bad.) Armstrong is also a hothead, like me. It won him bike races galore. But his cancer fight also reminds me that things are truly not that bad, even if it doesn't seem like it.