I know I'm supposed to put everything in the hands of a higher power and pray and take my vitamins and train hard and fight easy and all that, but I still have to plan. It's like Dave Barry wrote in his travel book, "Sure, there are people who never plan, grab a backpack and just head out on a great adventure, happily throwing caution to the wind! Those people are usually dead within hours." I'm a planner. Mudflap says it's b/c I'm a perfectionist; also I'm extremely competitive and I guess I believe my way is the best way and the winning way. With all the research and planning I do though, I'm usually right!
Anyway, I think I'm officially depressed now. It was just at the level of "bummed out" until today. Until DH told me he has a $400+ dental bill that we are looking at next week. And our lawyer just emailed me to say she needs another $2,000. I know better than to worry about money anymore; what's another $2400 when we're already $11K in credit card debt thanks to the custody battle? But I still have to figure out which credit card # to give my lawyer tomorrow. I still have to re-do the household budget and figure out the new minimum payments and figure out how much more $ I can pay every month to continue chipping away at the CC bills. I can put all my faith into God all day long but I still have very unpleasant tasks to do down here.
I'm also sad b/c now I can't go out this Thurs. night w/my mom and M. and L. to see Polka Freakout at the Continental Club. A $10 cover charge is out of my abilities now. I also can't go see my friend A. playing with Tower of Power Friday night. It's going to be all I can do to visit with my other friends coming into town.
Sorry if I sound too pity-partying. Those who know me know I'm absolutely not like that. I guess it would just be nice to hear some words of encouragement. I'm definitely not a quitter and never will be; right now I just can't see any light or rays of hope.
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4 comments:
Okay, so let's look at the positives: you have a loving husband with working legs to kung fu kick his way down south and have it done for a third of the price, a beautiful daughter who made you feel special for mother's day, a wonderful job that makes you feel empowered even when it doldrum, and a family that loves and supports you. Bella Della, you are a wonderful caring woman, keep strong! --clau
yeah! and i totally love the shit out of you because even in the hard times you're still bloody hi-law-reous! Maybe you're not rich yet, but girl you got humour in SPADES! and no amount of chedda can buy that.
And I know it's not the same, but we'll play some Brave Combo for you on Saturday.
Don't let it bring you down. Remember, we've both been through worse. If you need anything, gimme a call.
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